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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27629744">Running through a field of sunflowers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fish_wifey/pseuds/fish_wifey'>fish_wifey</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>69 (Sex Position), Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Falling In Love, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Topping, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Futakuchi makes a mistake, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Kissing on a bet, M/M, Multiple Sex Positions, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:33:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>39,630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27629744</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fish_wifey/pseuds/fish_wifey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He says yes to a dare, goes in on a bet. What Futakuchi couldn’t know is how much it will pain him, and how much he will fall. It started as a joke—and yet, when it’s supposed to end and be done with, Futakuchi can’t stop.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Futakuchi Kenji/Koganegawa Kanji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Ripping petals off of sunflowers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had this idea at random and just really wanted to try it!? I really hate the entire ‘someone is asking you out/says they love you on a bet’ thing, and this is not completely it!! Still, it starts of kinda mean… I also dislike any kind of bullying—but heads up (spoiler tag): there is a prank that goes a little bit far; however it’s also getting handled appropriately uvu (inappropriately, if I’m honest. Just. Faith trust and believe me that it’s very good)</p><p>BUT!!! I love Koganegawa with all my heart. He deserves the world and I will let him have it.<br/>Also super rare; single pov. I always like to switch povs and scenes but uvu I really felt like giving it all from futakuchi’s perspective. (Especially because he makes such a mess and then has to deal with it all)</p><p>Cultural info: a 10.000 yen bill in japan can be referred to as ‘one man’, as man=10.000. that’s 80ish Euro/95ish Dollar atm</p><p>Anyway, please enjoy!!! It's my 100th Haikyuu!! fic published, so I wanted it to be very special TT</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Futakuchi, there’s someone here for you,” a classmate calls out, gaining part of Kenji’s attention. Half of it is still in a card game, one he’s losing. Eyes going up over the circle gathered around him, Kenji thinks he can see a tint of blond through the door opening. </p><p>“Hah, I win again!” </p><p>Blinking back in disbelief, Kenji checks the table, his cards—and to his dismay the truth of another losing hand. Groaning, he pays up; the little cake he bought from the vending machine joins the loot from the others. Kubo, a boy from the class next door, eagerly gathers it all to himself. <i>He doesn’t deserve that cake…</i> In a bad mood, Kenji gets up from his seat and walks towards the door. He rubs his head, as sounds of ‘coward!’ and ‘hey come back here’ follow him.</p><p>Putting his hands into his grey pants pockets, Kenji peers around the doorway to find Koganegawa standing outside. Kenji’s surprise shows on his face. He watches how arrow-straight his kouhai stands in the unfamiliar surroundings. He looks near frightened, as multiple guys and a couple of girls harass him about his height. Kenji sighs, blows air through his bangs, and walks forward. Time for a cool rescue mission.</p><p>“Yes, Kogane. What is it?”</p><p>Koganegawa’s eyes shoot to him, relief obvious from the shoulders down.</p><p>“Senpai!” Koganegawa calls, not moving from his spot. The crowd disperses, Kenji’s hand waving them away, acting like they’re all nasty bugs. Standing a bit more relaxed, Koganegawa goes into a small hunch forward when he speaks to Kenji. “Futakuchi-senpai, are you free right now? Would it be okay to check my form for a bit?”</p><p>People in the hallway start snorting around them, repeating Koganegawa’s words. Kenji gives them a mean look. Leave it to stupid teenagers to take any sort of sentence out of context. He clicks his tongue, a bit annoyed that Koganegawa somehow dragged him into this. Kenji sighs, looking to his overeager kouhai. He cocks his head to his side.</p><p>“We have practice in a few hours, don’t we? Let’s look at it then, with everyone else,” Kenji says. Meaning, he’d rather leave it to Nametsu and the coach. Why does he have to check Koganegawa’s process? “In any case, don’t be so overeager. We’re just starting out.”</p><p>Its Kenji’s nice way of hinting that, with Moniwa as their setter, Koganegawa won’t even make the bench any time soon. He was still too rough around the edges, and it came through in his tosses. Whenever they had practice matches, the B-team Koganegawa was on was just struggling to even touch his sets. Kenji got tired just looking at it. Part of him couldn’t help but be worried about the future. Not that it mattered right now—the summer InterHigh came first.</p><p>“Ah…uh, yeah, I guess,” Koganegawa says, clearly dented; his form slumps more and more. Kenji doesn’t want to admit it, but his heart sinks a bit. He didn’t intend for his kouhai to get sad. Feeling a bit bad, Kenji thinks he <i>could</i> hang out outside for a couple of minutes. He opens his mouth to give in—</p><p>“Futakuchi you bastard, are you ever going to come back!? The next round is drinks you know!” Kubo calls, having Kenji turn up from his hips where he’s placed his hands now. He makes a face at Kubo, who always causes an uproar in his own classroom and others. </p><p>“Sit your ass down, I will be there in a bit. Sorry Kogane, another time okay?” Kenji says to his kouhai, waving him goodbye as he returns to his classroom. It was time for a revenge round, and hopefully a better hand for him. Behind him, Kenji hears Koganegawa’s defeated voice saying ‘yes, okay,’ and ‘goodbye’.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>The card games are less exciting this time, and Kenji keeps saying its his last round. He’s lost so often already, and doesn’t need to give away any of his coins. Somehow when the cards are collected, the topic comes down to Koganegawa. Kenji finds it so beneath him, the way these childish idiots talk about him being gay.</p><p>“So what?” He asks annoyed. “You’re not, so what is it to you what someone else does in their free time?” Kenji says, already embarrassed for letting his voice rise. He locks his arms behind his head, crosses one ankle over his other thigh. Bearing nonchalance like a cape, he smiles. “After all, Kubo, shouldn’t you worry about yourself?”</p><p>Somehow half the table turns to Kenji, and he doesn’t the dumb faces. It makes him irritated more and more. The conversation doesn’t leave Koganegawa or who he likes alone. Several boys also interfere saying that he’s way too popular with the girls, especially the ones who wouldn’t fancy the group at this table here at all. While Kenji has been aware of Koganegawa conversing with bunches of girls as well as his teammates, he never saw it as anything to be looked down upon, or scrutinize-worthy. Fact is, as far as Kenji was concerned, he couldn’t care less what people preferred, or who they formed platonic relationships with. As long as it didn’t distract them from sports or from homework, they were good in his book.</p><p>“I’m sure that long lanky bastard can’t get any,” one person says, and soon more upsetting things are being said about Koganegawa. Not one homophobic thing though; they wouldn’t be that dumb to try that in Kenji’s presence. They knew he liked guys too, but it never was made a topic of discussion. He could crush any of these fools physically, <i>Thanks to volleyball and barbell lifting,</i> Kenji grins, then grimaces when he remembers tomorrow is leg day with Kamasaki again.</p><p>“Say, you guys are an awful lot concerned with some other guy’s stuff huh!” He likes to see them all embarrassed and shuffle their feet. And yet, they don’t drop it. They place ‘bets’, wondering out loud if Koganegawa has even kissed anyone, if he’s turned gay because no girl would like him, if he was a virgin, if he’s even seen an erotic video. Who of them should ask all these questions, but of course no one volunteers. Kenji is so done with them that he wants to get up, but he keeps being pulled into it more and more by Kubo. </p><p>In the battle of somewhat defending Koganegawa without trying to act too upset about it, Kenji has worked himself into a corner he was trapped in. Somehow the bets involved him now too, one more idiotic than the other. He should tell them all to piss off and leave him plus his team alone. And yet, Kenji finds his cake, drinks, and some of the stuff he lost during the cards on the line. And 10.000 yen Kubo places on the table, doubled if they get to see proof. Kenji could use that money for new running shoes, work on his endurance and stamina. The one-<i>man</i> leers at him from the table. What he has to do is pretty low…but oh so simple in execution.</p><p>“Take it as an incentive, Futakuchi. One-<i>man</i> now, the next if you actually get a picture too.”</p><p>Kenji clicks his tongue, takes the money, and hears himself say, “I’ll do it, you’ll see.”</p><p>Class is about to start, so he walks back to his place, feeling the heaviness of what he agreed to do just sink in. His nails rub over his scalp, and his stomach rumbles with a yearning for his cake that Kubo gave back but he had no time to eat. Kenji sits more upright, trying to focus on the classes and his coursework. His hands fidget however, drumming over his table. The bet wouldn’t leave his mind and the images in his head give his stomach a twist.</p><p>Kiss Koganegawa, and get a picture from it.</p><p>How did he get himself into that!?</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>He could just convince Koganegawa to play along and get part of the money. Kenji could also just seduce him the best he could, for a hot moment. And yet, none of it sits right with him. Giving the money back to Kubo would dent Kenji’s pride though, and perhaps the entire group of non-friends would turn on him and then say that <i>he</i> was the one unable to get any at all. </p><p>“Shit,” Kenji says, and his cursing is immediately followed by someone’s else ‘Gawh!!!’</p><p>Blinking, Kenji hears the all too familiar sound of a ball hitting someone’s head. </p><p>“Ouch…” says Koganegawa. Kenji sees him as he peers around a corner. Koganegawa rubs his head with both hands, then picks up the ball. He looks around, and Kenji instinctively leans back as not to be seen. Practice wasn’t about to start yet, and Kenji had a meeting with the coach before it. He wasn’t late though. Hands in his pockets, Kenji walks around the corner, watching for a bit as Koganegawa practices tossing against the wall.</p><p>“For such a big guy, you scare easily,” he says smiling, noticing thankfully that Koganegawa doesn’t jump this time. He catches the ball in his hands, bowing to Kenji with it.</p><p>“Futakuchi-senpai! I didn’t! The ball just flew up too high when I heard you,” Koganegawa explains, making Kenji feel sorry for him. The 10.000 yen burn under his palm. He reaches out with his other hand, patting Koganegawa’s head. There’s no product used in the blond hair, Kenji remembers. It’s very soft.</p><p>“Be more careful,” he says, smiling along as his fingers linger in Koganegawa’s hair. His kouhai doesn’t move away, nor closer. <i>What the fuck am I doing…</i> “Say, I’ve got 10 minutes to spare. Let’s toss back and forth a little.”</p><p>Kenji turns away from the overload of bright smiling and excited thank you’s and sorry’s. They position themselves apart, tossing the ball back and forth. Kenji squints each time the ball goes insanely high. This is exactly the struggle the practice teams were having with their baby setter; Koganegawa sends the ball so high that one has to crane his neck even more than usual. Swallowing another curse, Kenji runs forward to get it. </p><p>“Ease up a bit. We’re not tossing the ball up to the moon!” Kenji says, showing him how’s done. Tossing it back is easier than having to spike that near the net…</p><p>“Yes, Futakuchi-senpai! Won’t do it again!” Koganegawa replies from his chest. At least he always keeps his voice up. Although, practicing a few courts away is very distracting when that voice booms throughout the gym. Kenji shakes his head, having to concentrate as that idiot Koganegawa sends him another high toss back. However, Kenji notices that after his reprimand, the ball does get a little lower each time. Yet the lowest toss towards the end is still too high. Kenji sighs, catching the ball in his hands. He glances up to the wall.</p><p>“Show me how you practice,” he offers, and watches Koganegawa sprint, get the ball, and toss it up. Kenji’s faith falters; the ball goes up further and further. He looks at Koganegawa, about to scold him—and then notices that Koganegawa’s ears and neck are completely red. His breathing is easy, so it’s not exhaustion getting to him. The building shields them from the afternoon sun, so that’s not the culprit either. There’s no one around watching, so Koganegawa couldn’t possibly be embarrassed. <i>But wait, perhaps he is. Maybe he’s noticing his tosses going high again.</i> Kenji sighs.</p><p>“Alright, that’s enough. Aaah, you should keep trying to not let the ball fly so much, when we practice. See ya around,” Kenji says, about to leave. Koganegawa nods, holding the ball still to his side. From this angle, only the top of his ears appear red. Kenji ruffles his own head, feeling irritation bubble up. It’s directed at himself, mostly. He cares too damn much for his teammates, although he’d never admit it out to them. That would just be silly.</p><p>“Don’t overdo it here, okay? Go all out at practice,” Kenji warns, watching Koganegawa nod turning to continue his wall tosses. Blowing out a breath, Kenji doesn’t scold him for it. He’s busy scolding himself instead, as he keeps looking at the warm-flushing neck. He wants to bite it. </p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Peering over Nametsu’s shoulder, Kenji clenches his water bottle in his hand. The numbers show an improvement, and yet…</p><p>“Wait, here’s your block sheet,” Nametsu says. She must have thought that’s what Kenji wanted to see. He’s being checking out the stats for Koganegawa’s high and low tosses however. Previously, Nametsu marked off whenever a toss when high. The dots where calculated towards the end, showing a steady rate of tosses that were high. 70% of them were misses too, and the other 30% were either out or blocked.</p><p>“You’re doing good today,” Nametsu smiles up to him. It doesn’t help to remove Kenji’s frown from his brows. </p><p>“Can I have that for a second, Nametsu?” he asks, paging back to see Koganegawa’s stats. Blocks were good for the most part, Datekougyou’s pride and joy. But those receives were godawful. Servers on the better side of ‘so-so’. Kenji peers up from Nametsu’s notebook to where Koganegawa is sitting; his legs are spread out in a V from his body, and he’s passionately talking to the other first years who are standing or squatting next to him. Like a fiery wave, irritation runs over Kenji’s neck, down to his spine. </p><p>He hands the notebook back to Nametsu, and his water bottle too. “Thanks.”</p><p>“Hey, this isn’t even empty! Hydrate properly,” Nametsu yells after him, but Kenji’s already heading over to the first years.</p><p>He lightly kicks Koganegawa’s foot. While Koganegawa blinks up with a confused “Yes, Futakuchi-senpai?” </p><p>The other first years make themselves scarce. Kenji wishes he could put his hands in his jacket pockets. He doesn’t even have a water bottle to hold. His hands feel so useless. In the end he just crosses his arms over his chest, peering down at his kouhai. He’s finally put the one-<i>man</i> bill in his bag; but it’s heavy on his mind here too.</p><p>“After clean up, wait at the supplies storage outside,” Kenji tells Koganegawa, whose replies are nothing but more confused blinking patterns. Kenji feels dumb. He shrugs his shoulders, but doesn’t take it back. “It’s nothing serious okay? Just wait for me a bit.”</p><p>“O-okay Futakuchi-senpai.”</p><p><i>It’s such a mouthful…doesn’t he ever tire from it?</i> Kenji wonders, but doesn’t say anything out loud. He walks away, dodging Nametsu’s scolding. Why he’s being such a fool over a stupid bet. All he had to do was kiss Koganegawa, get a picture, collect the other 10.000 yen. It’s nothing serious, he keeps telling himself now as well, as he makes his way back over to the court. </p><p>Aone looks at him with a surprised face, but no way was he able to hear all that from the distance.</p><p>“What?” Kenji asks, able to keep his voice less snappy and more bemused. He touches his cheeks a little, feeling warm. Oh.</p><p>In true Aone fashion, he stays mute and doesn’t speak his mind.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Koganegawa is exactly where Kenji instructed him to be. Standing just beside the outdoor storage space. As if anyone could miss him, Koganegawa put himself right beside a lamp post. His face gets lit up by the bright light of his phone. Kenji takes in the sight; Koganegawa appears to be texting someone. His face drawn to a smile, Kenji wonders if he’s making a huge mistake. Koganegawa is a good kid, he doesn’t deserve to be made a fool of. However, Kenji wouldn’t show that picture just to anyone. Nor tell what he’s done.</p><p>Stepping forward, he calls out to his kouhai, who finishes texting very fast and puts his phone away. The air around them is not too warm, not too cold. And yet there’s an unpleasant warmth in Kenji’s chest, and his skin runs cold with thoughts running through his head. Right, wrong—</p><p>“What is it, Futakuchi-senpai?” Koganegawa asks. His eyes always seem to open and pure. Trusting.</p><p>“Let’s talk in here for a moment,” Kenji says, pulling out the keys for the storage room. In it are the musty smells of mats and unused supplies. When the volleyball club was formed, they needed space in the indoor supply room. The outside one got all the things from clubs that were either disbanded, or just not as important. </p><p>Both of them have to duck a little before entering. It’s dim in here, with the light of a lamp post shining in through the dirty windows.</p><p>“Sooo, I was wondering about this during lunch. It must be eh, tough for you to find someone nice. You’re always surrounded by girls too. You’re not bi, right?” Kenji asks, his tone light. Nice. His intentions are surely not nice at all. Koganegawa doesn’t get flustered. </p><p>“I always had a lot of female friends,” Koganegawa explains. “B-b-but I’ve never been interested in them! It might be that’s why we get along so well. Why are you asking, Futakuchi-senpai?”</p><p>Shrugging, Kenji steps forward. A bit more into Koganegawa’s space, who doesn’t back of. There’s no apprehension, no tension. Kenji smiles, hoping it’s seen in the dim light.</p><p>“You know I’m into guys as well. Our school doesn’t have a lot of types like us. The other one I know is a closed up third year who probably has a college boyfriend. And in your year there’s no one decent either, right? Don’t you sometimes get urges, Koganegawa?” Kenji asks as smoothly as he can manage, without sounding creepy. He watches Koganegawa swallow. If he blushes, it might just be hidden at his neck again. Or the dim dark swallows it up in secret.</p><p>“Ah, yeah, I think there are two others. Not in my class but…I wasn’t interested in them…” Koganegawa says, his voice stammering. Kenji drops the smile, putting his hand onto some dirty mat behind Koganegawa. He chose the inside despite the smell and the dirt, because it was somehow cosy and above all, very discreet.</p><p>“And what do you think about me?”</p><p>Koganegawa’s eyes break away. Kenji sees the red spread now, from the ears and down to Koganegawa’s neck. Must be nice not to blush this much at the cheeks. The colour goes down, disappearing under Koganegawa’s grey training shirt. Hinting at a blush that spreads over his chest, his shoulders perhaps.</p><p>“Futakuchi-senpai..?”</p><p>“If I’m making you nervous or uncomfortable, I’ll leave it. Do you want me to?”</p><p>“That’s not it,” Koganegawa confesses, his eyes to the ground. As much of the ground as he could see with Kenji being so close. Kenji drops his arm, holds it nonchalantly to his side. He should stop this. He should tell Kubo and the rest they can go fuck themselves. Kenji sighs out, about to leave poor Koganegawa alone. Treat him to a meat bun for the trouble.</p><p>“I think you’re very attractive, Futakuchi-senpai!” Koganegawa suddenly bellows right in his face. “But I didn’t think we’d be compatible in such a way, so I didn’t try anything. Not like I could easily try anything with a senpai—b-b-but..!”</p><p><i>Shit, what is he so cute for!?</i> The honest words get to Kenji, who doesn’t need any more incentive. He steps closer, pressing his chest against Koganegawa’s. They’re the same height, but Kenji feels more confident. One year can make such a difference. He gently cups Koganegawa’s face, angling his own head forwards. To the last moment he doesn’t think he can pull it off. That he’ll chicken out. Whispering, Kenji doesn’t forget his manners however.</p><p>“Kogane, do you want me to kiss you?” Kenji whispers onto those opening, closing, wobbling lips. He looks at them with all the intent he can muster. Somehow he <i>is</i> curious. How it would feel like. How intense Koganegawa might get. If he returns the kiss or not. Perhaps he’s shy, or inexperienced. His face certainly feels warm.</p><p>“Y-y-yes,” Koganegawa stammers, and Kenji swallows the words that threaten to spill after. He brushes his lips over Koganegawa’s, closing his own eyes. He closes off the seams of their mouths, humming sweetly. Koganegawa becomes rock still. He doesn’t even move his own mouth. Kenji prompts him, tongue licking inside. When the other stiffens, Kenji takes it easy on him. No tongue then. Combing through the blond hair, Kenji’s free hand fumbles in his pocket to find his phone. He had the camera ready before getting in here. Changes his phone settings so the screen would not time out within a few minutes. His thumb blindly tap over the screen, until he hears a ‘click!’ Koganegawa hears it, but Kenji chose that moment to deepen the kiss, to make little sounds between them.</p><p>He leaves Koganegawa with a soft sound, licking his own lips with a smile. His phone is long gone, hidden once more. It’s not even the money on his mind, the bet, his pride. Koganegawa looks absolutely delicious after the kiss, with his mouth gently open, breathing a little harder. His eye lids have dropped a bit, now opening up once more. As if he just now realizes what has happened.</p><p>“Wh-what was that..?” Koganegawa asks, and Kenji holds back from laughing. He has his hands to himself once more.</p><p>“It’s nothing serious, if we don’t want it to be. Just a…friendly kiss? I am sure there’s more we could offer each other. In time,” Kenji says, not knowing just how much he actually means it. Because why not? Koganegawa might not be his type, but Kenji wasn’t that picky. He hadn’t kissed someone in some time. Nevermind the other stuff his body was craving. And Koganegawa already confessed he found Kenji not so bad on to look at.</p><p>There was a fire in Kenji, wanting more. For now, he exits the storage room, careful not to hit his head. “You coming? I will lock you up in there all night,” he teases, greeted by the fresh night air. He feels lighter, warmer. Comforted in a way.</p><p>Watching Koganegawa stumble out, flustered and red, Kenji feels the slightest bit bad. </p><p>He shrugs it off. Koganegawa will be treated to meat buns, as soon as Kenji can collect the second one-<i>man</i> bill from Kubo.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>“Shit fucking damn shit!” Kenji curses out loud. He throws his phone on his bed. Towel drying his hair with a vengeance, he curses more softly. Standing in his bright room, refreshed from his bath, he looks down angrily at the phone on his bed. It doesn’t black out, because he hasn’t changed the setting yet. From his bed returns the image of a couple in the dark, kissing. Except it’s too dark to tell who they are, or that there’s in fact kissing nvolved.</p><p>Kenji cusses, turns away from it. He’d just have to try that again!</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Kenji doesn’t even try and upload the picture into the friend group. He’d be mocked for it. He grumbles at the chat, thinking that none of these people are actually his friends. They’re just asses. Then again, some people in the club have voiced they think he’s a prick too. </p><p>One hand gripping his phone and the other in the pocket of his pants, Kenji makes his way too school. His thumb taps away into his messages, reading once more one he received this morning. Koganegawa still wonders what the kiss meant. The subtext is all nervousness. Kenji clicks his tongue; less irritated at his kouhai, and more at himself. Looking around when he enters the school grounds, he only notices a few girls early for a club meeting. They’re discussing the latest knit patterns. </p><p>Kenji wants to pass them, when he notices Koganegawa. He was standing with his back to a tree, close to the girls. Quick as lightning, Kenji jumps behind raised flower patch in the middle of the grounds. Squatting, he leans up a bit, then rounds the patch more and more. Staying hidden, he has a better line of sight on Koganegawa, who is looking down on his phone. Whatever he looks at makes his mouth twist and turn. He rubs the back of his head, types something…then the thumb quickly pushes one button over and over. Probably erasing a message? Kenji can tell.</p><p>“He still hasn’t replied?” One of the girl’s voices. Kenji ducks when Koganegawa turns to the girls.</p><p>“No…and I’m trying not to send him another message!” He says, making the girls laugh. One is also flustered, saying she would have sent 10 already.</p><p>“Well, you guys have club soon right? Sometimes guys don’t wanna text. Maybe he wants to speak to you face to face!” A third year says, someone Kenji remembers from Moniwa’s classroom.</p><p>Listening to Koganegawa argue that he is a guy too and likes texting, Kenji inches forward. Koganegawa’s voice travels, and Kenji watches him sit down with the girls. They switch topics, and Kenji wonders how the hell he will get to club practice first without being noticed. Koganegawa is turned to the girls, but if Kenji gets up, he’d definitely be spotted! And maybe the girls knew about them…Knew who Kenji was, what he looks like. <i>Damn that Koganegawa!</i></p><p>“Futakuchi-senpai, what are you doing?” Sakunami asks, and Kenji turns his head to him. Then delayed, his entire body jumps from the surprise of not only hearing Sakunami’s voice so close to his ear, but having the libero squat right next to him as well. One hand on the raised flower patch, the other to his heart, Kenji releases a sigh.</p><p>“Sakunami!” he hisses, “Don’t scare me like that!”</p><p>Sakunami blinks once, but doesn’t move. He asked a question and awaits an answer. Sighing an altogether different sigh, Kenji nods to where the now unseen girls are with Koganegawa.</p><p>“What is his business with this knitting club?”</p><p>“Eh, what do you mean? That’s the crafting club. He’s a part-time member.”</p><p>If Sakunami’s face was anything to go by, Kenji’s face was distorted into spheres of ‘what the hell!’</p><p>“First of all…Since when do we have such a club…don’t even answer, Sakunami,” Kenji says, putting his flat hand out in a ‘stop’ sign. “Second, how can one even be a part-time member?”</p><p>“He hangs out with them when we don’t have practice or matches. And in the weekends when he’s free,” Sakunami says, slowly getting up. Panicking, Kenji immediately grabs Sakunami’s blazer and pulls him back down, then makes him stay silent. Sakunami raises an eyebrow at what must come across as very irrational behaviour, then continuous in a whisper. “He told me it’s a hobby of his, that it helps him relax his fingers after tossing. Koganegawa is pretty friendly with a lot of girls in our class, well, all eight of them. And he’s on good terms with some in the other classes too. At the beginning of the school year, they asked him to help out with the crafts club’s room, because he’s tall and approachable. And they made him an honorary member, not requiring him to partake in all of the activities because his first duty, as he told me, is to our club and the volleyball.”</p><p><i>Damn that Koganegawa…</i> Kenji thinks again, his heart feeling so soft however.</p><p>Face now distorting as if he tasted something way to sweet, Kenji takes a peak once again. Koganegawa is now fully immersed with the latest trends in knit patterns. Sighing as if he could not just release air but also his mind and heart, Kenji slowly gets up and pulls Sakunami along. He has an arm around his kouhai, making sure he doesn’t do something crazy like call out to his fellow year mate. At last Sakunami seems to catch up with Kenji’s intentions, and they make haste over the front schoolyard. </p><p>Unable to pinpoint what the mood inside him really is through all the haze, Kenji grumbles. Somehow, seeing a knit-freak Koganegawa has changed things up within him once more. Sakunami, either oblivious or a good enough kid to shut up about it, doesn’t pressure Kenji. He changes subjects ease and forms a good enough distraction. It distracts Kenji at least from running all across the school yard and into the safety of the club room, as well as thinking about answering Koganegawa’s text or not.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>When they’re getting dressed after practice back into their school uniforms, Kenji takes his time. Usually Obara is the slowest, but even he is out faster this time, telling Kenji to lock up. Whistling as he does, Kenji then turns around—his heart nearly bursts out of his throat as Koganegawa stands there. He holds the straps of his bag with both hands, looking extremely nervous. His already funny shaped mouth twitches, although his eyes stay set on Kenji.</p><p>“Don’t scare me like that!” Kenji says, breathing out slowly as he has his hand on his chest. His underclassmen were out to get him. “…What is it?”</p><p>“I…ehm…about yesterday..?” Koganegawa starts, and now the brown eyes shift a little all over the place. Kenji restrains himself from sighing, guessing that he might run out of air if he keeps doing so. He rights himself. He can be cool about this. Calm. Collected. Be like Aone. Maybe not as silent as Aone but…cool. He walks over with his hands held aloft, at ease. Just a stroll over to his cute kouhai. <i>Wait what…damn that—</i></p><p>“Look, it’s just to blow off some steam!” Kenji says good natured, grinning hard to make his tone sound joyful too. “You gotta relax every so often, right?” Kenji adds, slapping Koganegawa’s arm. Solid as a rock, just like Aone. “If you have regrets, it’s fine. But we can hang out more often, if you want to.”</p><p>What Kenji really means is that he needs a second chance at the photo. Truth be told, the kiss yesterday had been quite…cute? Not enough to really blow off steam or even build up some heat—but it’s been warm and cosy. Something Kenji was definitely missing right now, and not many people could offer him any sort of release. There was potential with Koganegawa, just like he could be a setter to be feared someday.</p><p>“In fact I…have regrets,” Koganegawa says, and now his eyes just stare at Kenji’s shoes. The feet within shift a bit, trying to solidify like roots in the earth. Stay motionless when all they feel like was running. </p><p>“Oh. I’m sorry if it was too much,” Kenji offers, seeing the money float away on tiny little wings. Maybe he didn’t deserve it, after all. He’s about to say something else as Koganegawa’s hands grip the strap tighter and his shoulders bunch up. He closes his eyes intensely, The words flow from him, making Kenji lean back a little.</p><p>“I am very sorry that I chickened out of the Fr-Fr-French kissing! I was so surprised and didn’t know what to do! You were very kind to me and I feel like I didn’t do it right. Please give me another chance, Futakuchi-senpai!” Koganegawa bows his upper body all the way down. If the door behind him wasn’t closed, Kenji might have stumbled back inside. Kenji feels flustered about it all, but won’t let himself be trapped. </p><p>“Arara, don’t work yourself up like that! It’s fine, really,” Kenji tries to soothe, thinking quietly that he’s the luckiest bastard around. “Like I said, we can hang out some more if you like.” Kenji is glad when Koganegawa stands back up fully, even more when he nods his head. Crisis averted.</p><p>“Could we…spend lunch time together?” Koganegawa asks, leaning forward like an excited puppy about to be taken out for a walk. Kenji smiles, shrugs.</p><p>“I’ll meet you at the rooftop. Don’t worry about it being off limits, I know my way around,” Kenji winks. It was a known secret of their club that the club room keys were an exact match to the rooftop ones, enabling the volleyball club member who had the key, onto the officially forbidden rooftop. They didn’t use it often, but Kenji feels that special measures invoke the need for it.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>When the lunch bell rings, Kenji takes his sweet time to get up and out of the classroom. He carries his lunch along, wondering if he should get drinks. There was an abandoned vending machine on the rooftop, and a kick or two could get a can out. If there were any left. The thought leaves him however as he finds Koganegawa surrounded at the end of the hallway. At first Kenji wonders if his kouhai is popular with all the girls of every year—until he comes close enough to notice that there’s not a single one there. Koganegawa is pressed into a corner, as some of Kenji’s less favourable ‘friends’ are wondering how ‘fresh’ it is ‘up there’, and if Koganegawa can look into the girl’s changing room during practice being so tall. <i>These assholes…no one ever asks shit like that of me or Aone.</i></p><p>That last one seems to make Koganegawa physically ill. He retreats more into himself, once more holding the strap of his bag tight to his chest. Kenji scoffs, then shoulders the idiots away. They never make jokes about his height. They wouldn’t dare to.</p><p>“Kogane is a good kid, and not a deprived, constantly horny, degenerate like you lot.. Leave him alone,” Kenji says, making sure the group disperses before he turns to Koganegawa. He doesn’t need to see their faces, or hear any whispers about the bet. Loudly, Kenji wonders if Koganegawa waited long. Then he apologizes when he hears Kubo’s voice lead the others away.</p><p>“Sorry about that, I…had something to do in the classroom.”</p><p>Koganegawa shakes his head and mumbles that it is fine. But he doesn’t meet Kenji’s eyes, and all the way up the stairs, stays very quiet and concerned. Before he whips out the keys to open the roof top entrance, Kenji turns to him. </p><p>“Look, they’re shitheads. Don’t listen to them,” Kenji says, turning the key when Koganegawa doesn’t respond more than a nod.</p><p>“…I know they’re your friends, Futakuchi-senpai. I just…don’t like that kind of talk towards girls,” Koganegawa says, slowly following. Kenji remains silent for a second, closing the door from the other side and locking it. If any teachers would try and check, they’d have ample of alarm and time to retreat and hide.</p><p>“I’m not friends with them. I’m closer to everyone in the club than I am to them…And I don’t appreciate their talk either. It’s quite annoying and makes me angry, too,” Kenji says, looking up to find Koganegawa’s shoulders finally easing up from all the tension he’s held the past minutes. Koganegawa nods again, and they make their way to the least filthy part. The bleachers are broken down to one side, but they’re the most clean and safe on top. Kenji makes his way to that top, placing his lunch to his side. </p><p>Koganegawa’s long feet look somewhat awkward trying to go up the bench. And when he makes it, he first looks out to admire the view. It makes Kenji smile, but he quickly scolds his heart for once more thinking how cute Koganegawa looks. Kenji hates the reason why he invited Koganegawa up here. Setting that aside, he stands up and turns to the diamond fencing as well. Below them are parts of the school and some trees. There was an open-air work-shop, currently abandoned. No one would look up or see them. No one would care. No one would know, either.</p><p>Perhaps Kenji needed to vent off some tension too, and kiss Koganegawa for entirely different reasons. Koganegawa finally puts down his own wrapped bento besides Kenji’s on the bench. </p><p>“Take off your bag and blazer. It’s a nice day, after all,” Kenji says, turning so that his back leans easily against the fencing. Waiting for his underclassman to shyly do as told. When he does, Kenji keeps smiling, honestly this time. His hands reach out to undo Koganegawa’s tie a bit, somewhat excited when Koganegawa’s breathing hitches, and his mouth opens a little.</p><p>They could just ‘be’, for no reason at all. Kenji pulls the loosened tie closer, making Koganegawa dip his head and kiss him. It’s lips first, Kenji gently prying up the bottom lip with his teeth. When he does, Koganegawa’s fingers link with the fence, making a sound with his mouth that’s almost too silent to pick up. Kenji angles his own head, sealing their mouths together. His hand around the tie loosens, and he lets both his palms run up and over Koganegawa’s biceps, towards his shoulders, rounding the edges until his fingers breach from the white shirt towards skin. Koganegawa’s neck is warm, and Kenji can picture a blush spreading all the way down…</p><p>The little sounds increase in frequency and depth, making Kenji smile more and more into the kiss. It is warm, and he makes it gentle. Soon Koganegawa moves his lips too, brushing against Kenji’s. It urges Kenji to do something reckless, but he keeps his feet on the bleachers, his knees bend without doing anything stupid. If he moves too fast, Koganegawa will be scared off. To make sure he’s no threat at all, Kenji makes sure his lips and hands are as undemanding as possible. He gently holds Koganegawa’s face in his hands though, wanting to make his kouhai keep continuing with the kiss.</p><p>He loses himself in the gentle care his mouth is given. Koganegawa is just a slightly bit taller; enough so to check off Kenji’s box for dating guys who are taller than him. He was perfectly build and strong, and Kenji somehow likes that he’s not as demanding or sloppy with his kisses than previous guys. It was hard enough to find other gays as Kenji was very careful. To have someone like this kiss him against the fence, making him feel protected and warm and wanted…</p><p>He doesn’t try to use his tongue this time, trying to keep with Koganegawa’s pace. So caught up in this perfect kiss that he just stays here without much other thoughts allowed to interrupt, Kenji also forgets he was supposed to do something.<br/>
Koganegawa parts from him, breath hot and eyes hazy. Kenji grins up, letting his fingers caress through the dyed blond hair.</p><p>“C’mon, we should eat. Kisses won’t feed us,” Kenji says, disengaging first and settling down on the bench to start with his lunch. He puts his jacket next to Koganegawa’s, having become quite warm not to need it. Koganegawa joins him, still a little blushy around the ears. They eat, talking about some manga Koganegawa has gotten into that Kenji has never heard of. Once they’re finished and it’s time to head back, Kenji clicks his tongue. He catches Koganegawa by the arm, makes him turn. That slow blink questions him but doesn’t ask verbally, and so Kenji makes quick work of Koganegawa’s tie.</p><p>“There, now you can go return to civilization again,” Kenji says proudly, swinging his jacket from his elbow over to his shoulder. To unlock the door this time, Kenji gives his own finished bento to Koganegawa to hold on for a second. He doesn’t want to leave though. Back down into the madness, away from serenity. Kenji’s heart already yearns for more. A bad sign. He makes sure to lock the door from the staircase side properly again, then retrieves his bento with an English ‘Thanks’.</p><p>Exiting the staircase, Kenji stands still. He forgot that stupid picture!</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, Kogane. You got shop too?” Kenji asks, as Sakunami appears from behind a laughing Koganegawa. The two of them stop in their tracks, making their 1-A class stop too. They both bow down fast and greet their senpai, making their class go around them.</p><p>“Y-yes, Futakuchi-senpai!” Koganegawa says, saluting him. “I—We will be in your care!”</p><p>Kenji stifles a laugh, a sigh, and manages to keep his brows from furrowing or rising. He glances up to Koganegawa’s fingers, white tape around a few. Not mentioning it, Kenji heads into the workshop with his kouhai. But Sakunami quickly drifts off to the other side of the room, where the other first years are.</p><p>It isn’t often that classes are held in the same workshop, but their shop teacher had been sick previously and now had to mix classes and handle even more people. Kenji had been whining before, given that his term project needed some serious looking after. With first years around, he’d figured he’d be asked to help them out a lot more often, especially with their teacher needing the upperclassmen to keep an eye out too. Seeing Koganegawa in his overalls was a definite game changer to the situation.</p><p><i>Wait…I shouldn’t care so much,</i> Kenji reprimands himself, greeting the first years. Turns out Koganegawa’s project was close to his, so they decide to share a work table. They also have to use the same tools, and Kenji tuts over strapping Koganegawa’s vizor on better.</p><p>If Kenji thought he’d be the one helping out anyone…The first years do flock to their table, but more so to ask Koganegawa for pointers. He’s what seems like a metal specialist, and knows how to make metal bend to his will by the looks of it too. Stunned, Kenji listens to him give advice about heat settings and time management, when to check in on the metal and when to leave it alone. Kenji isn’t an idiot and knows that what Koganegawa says is true, but most of this information wasn’t available to Kenji until a few weeks ago. </p><p>When their teacher comes to their table, he doesn’t have anything negative to say to either of them, and heaps praise on Koganegawa’s term project. The questions Koganegawa asks are so intelligent that Kenji has to shut off his machine for a moment to listen and learn a thing or two himself. Somehow, this is on par as finding out that Koganegawa knits. <i>The hell is this first year brat so versatile for!?</i> Kenji wants to avenge himself somehow, but teasing Koganegawa physically could end up in burns and other problems. He’d just have to make him blush after this class.</p><p>Realizing himself that if he’d be so popular and praised, Kenji’s head would definitely have grown thrice in size. Koganegawa just…stays friendly and kind, going back to his project when the teacher moves on to the next table. Kenji laughs, putting his vizor up.</p><p>“Man, you sure stay humble huh, Kogane!” </p><p>Guessing that Koganegawa’s slight body tilt indicates he’s looking at him, Kenji upkeeps the grin. But the vizor stays put, and Kenji can only imagine the blinking that goes on behind it, or the questionable look that takes over the rest of Koganegawa’s face. Not allowing the stretch of silence to become awkward, Kenji puts his vizor back down and continues his work until lunch time. His mind is distracted though. It’s been some days that he and Koganegawa have met in private. Kubo and his foolish lot had teased Kenji every day, who fired back that he knew how to handle another person. He’s been stuck to say ‘loved one’ or even ‘love interest’. Thankfully, it was enough to shut the luckless group down. Kenji wanted to take it easy, to take his time. He has put that 10.000 yen bill away in his room for now, to keep it out of his bag, fingers, and mind.</p><p>His mind has been full of Koganegawa. It’s been a week or so since their first kiss. A weekend has come and gone. </p><p> </p><p>Most of the first years head over back into the main school building to get lunch or eat their home-packed bento over there. A couple of first years Kenji doesn’t know call out to Koganegawa too. Kenji tries to hide how much he’s looking, fumbling with cable in his hand to fold it up neatly but not too tightly. But glancing he does, as Koganegawa rejects them and says he wants to finish something. Kenji notices how Sakunami looks back at him, eyes peering at Koganegawa after; Sakunami then turns on the other first years, pushing the rejects out of the workshop and into the now busy-sounding hallway.</p><p>Setting the ring of cables where they belong, Kenji walks up to Koganegawa, tutting already before the other even sees him coming.</p><p>“Hey, you shouldn’t overwork yourself on projects either! You were bending over the entire time during the heat set, and you never sat down. Lunch is important and you should rest up!” Kenji says, looking at Koganegawa’s vizor next to his. He could steal them both maybe, be a little childish perhaps. Not putting back used equipment would get them both scolded, but Kenji just wants Koganegawa to chase him a little. Capture him—</p><p>“Ah, it’s just. This bolt isn’t staying put and I don’t know why…” Koganegawa says, pointing to one gaping hole in his project. Kenji has his fists on his hips, bending from there as he inspects it.</p><p>“It’s the curve. See, it’s tighter here than on the previous ones. That’s an easy fix, let me do it,” Kenji says, putting his vizor and protective gloves back on. He instructs Koganegawa which tool to bring, to plug it, and watch him work. Koganegawa has his vizor on too, watching as Kenji puts the tip of the tool within the project. He is utmost careful, given that it’s delicate work and not his own. But Koganegawa doesn’t fidget for once. He’s not nervous. The entire energy beside him is just concentration and…trust. Unseen, Kenji’s tongue rolls out as he heats up the metal, then puts the rebellious bolt where it belongs and melts the metal together.</p><p>“Now, let it cool,” he says, vizor back up as he wipes sweat from his brow. “It should stay put this time.”</p><p>“Thank you so much, Futakuchi-senpai! This tool, I’m always on edge when I use it so I didn’t think of it,” Koganegawa says, as they put vizors and gloves away. Kenji roars with laughter, lifting the tool up and flexing his biceps.</p><p>“That’s what senpai are for!”<br/>
Later than everyone else, they head out of the shop. But before Koganegawa can walk over to the more populated areas, Kenji pulls him back. He swallows some cheesy ‘Say thank you properly’ line, and just let’s his actions speak. Pulling Koganegawa along poses no problem, as the trusting boy follows and soon walks in step with Kenji.</p><p>Kenji brings him to another abandoned area he likes, a little behind the shop building. Grass is left free to grow here. An area meant for punishment for misdemeanours at school; left like this in case someone needed back-breaking and sweat-inducing hard work to be taught a lesson. As any sort of misbehaviour was uncommon, or not as bad that it would get you sent here, the grass has grown to Kenji’s hip.</p><p>“Ah, ah, ah, where is it again…” He wonders out loud, glad he’s wearing the overall to brave the tall grass. Koganegawa follows behind him, not once asking why they’re here or what Kenji is looking for.</p><p>For napping pleasure, Kenji had helped Sasaya ‘borrow’ and move a bench into this area at the start of May. It’s surrounded by greenery, far away from crowded places, and just general the best place to take a nap. But Sasaya has slept through quite some of his alarms, so he gave up on coming here and told Kenji the bench was all his and any friends he wanted to share the secret spot with.</p><p>“Haha, found you!” Kenji exclaims after finding the bench at last. He knew it was close to a big tree. He shows it off to Koganegawa, who visibly still struggles as to understand why Kenji brought him here.</p><p>Grinning, Kenji feels triumphant. It was definitely not for naps.</p><p>“Sit down,” Kenji commands gently, watching as Koganegawa dutifully does as told. Holding his tongue back from teasing, he quickly follows and promptly sits himself down on Koganegawa’s lap. Shock comes on fully now, and Koganegawa’s ears flush pink, his eyes wide. Beneath them, Koganegawa’s cheeks burn as well. It’s the first time Kenji sees that blush appear there. And it could be his downfall.</p><p>“S-senpai!?” He asks, his hands lift into the air as Kenji makes himself comfortable onto Koganegawa’s dick. He can feel, even through the thick overall fabrics they both wear, and even in the not-yet-aroused mode, how hung Koganegawa is. <i>Damn this brat…he’s big.</i> Not that it poses a problem to Kenji. Well, it causes quite the problem in his own dick, but its fine for Koganegawa to feel that.</p><p>“Damn, dude. We haven’t been on the onsen trip yet…I had no idea you were so gifted,” Kenji teases, letting his ass circle a little to get more of an reaction out of Koganegawa’s private parts. What’s happening is that Koganegawa looks away, swallows, and has his face changes hues from light pink to dark red real fast. Talking easily, Kenji pats Koganegawa’s shoulder. </p><p>“Hey, that’s a good thing, isn’t it! I’m complimenting you.”</p><p>“Futakuchi-senpai, what are we…” Koganegawa starts without facing Kenji, who is just having a good time here. It’s quite the change from how their bodies met before. So much more intimate and well…sexy. Kenji keeps his hips still, moving his torso forward. His hands come down besides Koganegawa, holding onto the bench’s upper wood-part. As an reaction, Koganegawa’s hands grip the lower part of the bench; holding onto it tightly, by the sound of it. </p><p>As a first year, Kenji never had a thing for men in overalls. Now he has.</p><p>“The other day on the roof. We didn’t practice tongue-kissing, Kogane. Let me make it up to you,” Kenji says, lowering his voice with every sentence spoken closer and closer to Koganegawa’s cheek. He’s still not looking back at him, Adam’s apple moving once more. “Sshh, there’s no reason to be nervous about this. I’ll start as gentle as always, and go slow, okay?”</p><p>The nod is all he needs. Trusting eyes looking up to him. As careful as he can manage, Kenji takes Koganegawa’s chin in his thumb and fingers, turning it. While Koganegawa’s head moves, his eyes stay on a faraway spot, until there’s nothing else to look at than Kenji. If it was really too much, Kenji wouldn’t do this. He’d stop, get off, and say he’s sorry for pushing Koganegawa. But the dick hardening below him…it’s an indication, right? He nodded, too…but its not enough for Kenji, who needs to be sure he’s not being a selfish asshole.</p><p>“…Do I have your permission to kiss you?” Kenji asks, voice low but serious. Bodily reactions aside…that’s no consent, and Kenji was raised right by his parents to always make sure he always has consent. Especially given the position he’s in now; being a senpai, sitting on top, having stolen Koganegawa away to a secretive spot. And Koganegawa is so nervous too. Kenji figures he must be very inexperienced. Kenji lets go off Kogangeawa’s chin, glad when he sees the boy nod once more.</p><p>“Good. Let’s enjoy ourselves then,” Kenji whispers, prying Koganegawa’s lips open like he has before. As slow as in the storage room, as soft as on the roof top. He brings the heat this time though, as he gently lets his tongue lick over Koganegawa’s open lips. There’s little sound from the man below him, as his breathe hitches into Kenji’s open mouth. Kenji’s lips kiss Koganegawa’s lower one, pulls and teases it with teeth next. Then he licks his tongue over it one more time, liking how Koganegawa’s upper lip lift up eagerly. That’s the cue, and Kenji rolls his tongue inside with the heavy intent on making Koganegawa love it.</p><p>He presses his chest closer to Koganegawa, not with the need to cage him. Kenji likes being as close as possible, and he grinds his feet down on the other side of the bench, to let his hips wave forward. Koganegawa writhes under him, then up to him. Taking his time, Kenji’s tongue doesn’t dive in at once, nor does he allow anything wild to happen right away. The heat builds in his stomach as he takes his time exploring, straying away from Koganegawa’s motionless tongue as to not overwhelm him.</p><p>But as Koganegawa’s dick hardens under Kenji’s moving ass, so does his tongue get active. It rises to meet Kenji, who holds extremely still as he twists his tongue around Koganegawa’s. He hears fingers gripping the wood harder, unsure if it’s his own numb ones, or the person he’s kissing.</p><p>Hands starting to tinge, Kenji brings them to Koganegawa’s face. Brushing the warm cheeks with his thumb as he seals their mouths close, combing his fingers through the dyed hair. It feels rough and soft as once, the same way Koganegawa’s lips move against his; gentle and wanton. Koganegawa lifts his head up further, chasing Kenji when he backs off a little. They sit upright, and finally Koganegawa has courage enough to bring his hands where Kenji wants them; they curve perfectly around his ass, but do not push him further in. Kenji angles his head, deepens the kiss, allowing his tongue to go a little deeper, while circling around Koganegawa’s in perfect sensual harmony.</p><p>Koganegawa’s dick strains up against him. Kenji grins a little, letting the sound come between their lips. He rolls his hips now, circles his ass a little to give Koganegawa a little relief. As a reward, Koganegawa’s deep moan hums through their mouths, through Kenji’s chest, and straight down to his own cock tenting up the fabric in his lap.</p><p>Parting, Kenji opens his lids half way. Koganegawa is still so red, but also dazed and lovely looking. He chases Kenji’s mouth, kissing him back a little harder on his own accord. Kenji decides then and there that he could ruin himself on Koganegawa’s clothed hardness, but that he needs a little more room to play. As Koganegawa leads the kiss and does most of the pulling lips this time, Kenji keeps his eyes half open, unbuttoning Koganegawa’s overal from the top down. Koganegawa’s fingers curl, squeezing Kenji’s ass. </p><p>They should stop.</p><p>But Kenji can’t.</p><p>“Fuck, Kogane… do you…should I continue?” he asks, his fingers already running over the white shirt Koganegawa wears under his overal. Too much barriers. Maybe…not enough. Koganegawa’s answer is no answer at all as he stammers incomprehensibly. His lips go haywire onto Kenji’s jawline, who holds perfectly still and enjoys it. Koganegawa’s answer doesn’t come, as his mouth is too busy exploring now that he’s got a taste; he licks down Kenji’s throat, then circles a spot there. He bites it too, making Kenji become reckless and just move himself over Koganegawa’s lap without a care who will ruin who at this point. </p><p>Holding Koganegawa’s head in place, Kenji bites his own bottom lip; this not so little brat can get so good with just a bit of practice. Looking up to the leaves above them, Kenji pulls out his phone. He takes a picture of this moment, knowing it’s not what he needs. But he doesn’t care. Koganegawa, perhaps having heard the sound or not, stammers against his throat. His voice is so high this time that Kenji circles over his dick extra hard to hear it again. Koganegawa’s hands have left all shame behind, squeezing Kenji’s hands. If he wants more, Kenji will give it to him. He keeps up a low pace with his hips, rolling them continuously. .</p><p>“Futakuchi-senpai..! I’m gonna…I’m gonna,” Koganegawa starts, unable to state what. Not that Kenji needs to hear it. He cradles Koganegawa’s head, using all his inner willpower to stop moving. He breathes out, shakes his head.</p><p>“Relax, shhh. Stop moving. Not here, Kogane. Let’s go somewhere else,” Kenji says, having to follow up his words by getting up—which isn’t easy. But he manages. He looks down at Koganegawa, completely devastated by either their actions or that Kenji got up and out of reach. Uncaring for his own hard dick bulging in the overalls, Kenji takes Koganegawa’s hands and makes him stand up. He looks away because seeing Koganegawa’s girthy and long dick make him walk a little bow-legged has him stifle a laugh.</p><p>He presses Koganegawa against the big tree, pushing him hard at the hips to make him lean against it. Koganegawa is out of breath, just looking down at Kenji; so hungry for more already. Kenji likes being wanted like this, having someone look at him in such a way. It’s even better because Koganegawa’s blushes; and there’s something still so sweet in his lustful eyes. Kenji has to gaze away, figures he can look down and really take in the outline he’s felt the entire time under him. <i>Damn you, Kogane!</i></p><p>“Jesus,” he says out loud. Backing down from a challenge is not how Kenji lives his life. He laughs, squares his shoulders, then looks up to Koganegawa. “I’m going to do my best with that. But try not to push my head unless I want you too,” he says, not giving Koganegawa any time to think. He unbuttons the overall all the way down, pulls the sleeves Koganegawa’s shoulders and elbows; enough so the overall sags down and frees Koganegawa’s dick to poke out through the boxers. Kenji licks his lips in anticipation, then goes down on his knees.</p><p>“S-senpai—” is as far as Koganegawa gets to say, as Kenji simply whips the hard dick free from all restraints. It’s so large that Kenji takes another second to take it in, before bringing the precum-stained glans to his mouth. First he has a taste with his eyes closed, licking around it. Kissing it gently, making his way down the side. Soon his tongue licks it up flat, first under, then to the other side. All the way over the glans to lick up new precum.</p><p>“Hawh, so good,” he whispers, knowing the sensation Koganegawa feels right now when Kenji speaks. He looks up, dazes himself when Koganegawa’s strained face looks down at him. His teeth are all the way over his bottom lip, towards the chin. He hisses in breathe through his nose, and his hands hold onto the bark. Kenji swallows any type of encouragement, any sort of tease. His mouth opens to guide Koganegawa in slowly, keeping eye contact all the while. Not once does Koganegawa blink, as Kenji makes the thick cock disappear down over his tongue, down his throat.</p><p><i>Fuck he’s so thick,</i> Kenji thinks, unable to give the compliment verbally this time. He looks down over what he doesn’t suck in, and where Koganegawa’s black pubic hair looks glossy and clean. He wants to bury his nose into it, but isn’t sure if he can get so far the first time… All he can do with his tongue is lick the underside, suck Koganegawa in and make him feel good. Once he feels confident to move faster, Kenji does, closing his eyes and concentrating on his rhythm.</p><p>“Fuuuuck,” Koganegawa gasps out suddenly, but Kenji cannot manage a smile this time; he simply hums, encouraging Koganegawa that there’s no need to stay formal here. “Senpai,” Koganegawa moans, and Kenji shakes his head, making Koganegawa’s dick swerve all over his tongue as he moves his head back to release it.</p><p>“Say ‘Futakuchi’. Just that, no honorifics,” Kenji says, not so surprised how hoarse his voice is. He’s so horny, and wants to touch himself. But he keeps his hands on Koganegawa’s hips, securing the guy and soothing him. Kenji doesn’t wait for a ‘yes’, immediately sucking Koganegawa’s cock back in and sucking it fast this time.</p><p>While he doesn’t take a moment to take care of himself, Kenji takes a picture of this too. Just for his own pleasure, and for Koganegawa to look back at it later. He could give the phone to Koganegawa, maybe see if he takes pictures with it or even a video…but he doesn’t think those buckling knees and trembling hips are any indication as to Koganegawa’s ability to make his hand stay still enough to do any of that.</p><p>“Ge-aahh,” Koganegawa moans out, still restraining himself so much. Kenji can feel the smallest of movement under those hips; the want to move, to fuck into Kenji’s mouth and go wild. Kenji would let him. He feels it all over his skin, wanting it too. He releases Koganegawa’s dick, to tell him as much in between kisses put to the other side of the wet thickness.</p><p>“You can play with my hair if you want. I don’t mind a hard grip or pull,” he says, his own hands trying to guide Koganegawa’s away from the bark. But they’re glued there, and Kenji looks up to watch Koganegawa shakes his head wildly. Unable to speak. <i>I created this,</i> Kenji thinks proudly. Having fun with it, he sinks his nose into Koganegawa’s pubic hair, taking in the clean scent. He even lowers his head a little more, then starts kissing Koganegawa’s sack. He never does this. But Koganegawa’s balls are big, and require some attention too. Meanwhile, Kenji jerks Koganegawa off further, thumb streaking the precum down all over the glans. It throbs in his hand, and Kenji imagines how wild Koganegawa’s heartbeat must be right now.</p><p>Before Koganegawa comes, Kenji quickly puts him in again. He works the glans solely, using one hand to jerk Koganegawa off, the other to soothe at least one trembling hip. Koganegawa’s head thumps against the bark, and Kenji looks up to watch him come. The seed is so thick, and there’s so much that Kenji has to swallow quickly or create a mess on the overalls. He manages with gulps, a little annoyed that Koganegawa is once more biting his lower lip and not allowing sounds to come out freely. Hearing someone lose it is the best part…</p><p>As soon as he thinks it, Koganegawa’s jaw slacks down. </p><p>“Hnnggh! Aaah…” He breathes out, eyes opening slowly while Kenji takes care of the last bit of come. <i>Good boy,</i> he thinks but won’t say; he can’t say anything after all, and Kenji’s lips simply round the tip of the cock before releasing it one last time. Koganegawa’s eyes are up towards the leaves, his breath coming heavy and deep. The sky is somewhere above them, with just sunlight filtering through the thick leaf cover. Kenji licks his lips, proud of himself as Koganegawa’s spent cock becomes soft again.</p><p>“You should jerk off more often, Koganegawa. That was a lot of come,” Kenji says, unable to get up from his numb knees. He looks at Koganegawa who nods, then glances down—that cute face, so warm, flushed with the orgasm. Koganegawa swallows visibly again, unable to move—Kenji cannot help himself, he finds it adoring. He needs release himself, but doesn’t want to ask and make it seem like a trade-off. As if he only did this to get something out of it.</p><p>“Futakuchi-senpai,” the bastard says, and Kenji restrains himself to click his tongue in annoyance. He had hoped to hear his name in a long, breathy drawl coming from those lips. <i>I’m so needy…shit.</i> Kenji can’t fault himself too much for wanting thought. This was hot, and definitely one of the more enjoyable times he gave head. Koganegawa really listened to most of his needs; he restrained himself so much perhaps, as to not overpower his senpai. </p><p>“Futakuchi-senpai, what about you?”</p><p>“What about me?” Kenji laughs, hating how he can’t get up and be cool about this. “I can take care of myself, on that bench maybe. You can watch, if you want.” He grins, the words are out before he can thoroughly comprehend having spoken them. </p><p>And there’s no taking them back either, because Koganegawa, that beautiful tall hung bastard, nods and says, “Okay.”</p><p>Kenji grumbles a little, closing his eyes as he continues to touch his dick. Just like with Koganegawa (who is now fully and completely dressed again), Kenji has pulled down the sleeves off his overalls. But he takes the top off all the way, letting it fall either flat on the bench behind him, while the sleeves hang off the sides. He brings his hand to cup his hard erection through his shorts, hating his stupid no-filter mouth for even offering Koganegawa to watch. He should have told him to go on ahead!</p><p>“Mhn,” he says as silently as possible, suddenly feeling the need to bite his lip and shut himself up the way Koganegawa did earlier. He pulls his cock free over the rim off his boxers, liking the press of the band rub the underside a little. Lifting his shirt up, light grey in colour, Kenji curses himself. Alone, he would have let his hand caress his chest, tease his nipple. With Koganegawa watching—eyes unblinking, staring hard—there’s no way he can do that. Kenji is a lot of things but being a coward…after telling Koganegawa to do whatever he pleases… <i>Fuck fuck fuck I’m so stupid..!</i></p><p>“Shit,” he grumbles, closing his eyes and feeling his brows furrow. It still feels good somehow, despite the added stress. Kenji licks over his lips, something he’d do a little more obscenely and with more sound if there wasn’t someone watching him. <i>Why</i> had he’d been so stupid!? And after he was trying to have Koganegawa play with his hair and everything…he had been a lot more bolder with a cock in his mouth. Maybe the sight of him turns Koganegawa on again, and Kenji could try and lie down a little on those thick thighs, have his hair caressed, take Koganegawa’s thick penis back into his wanton mouth—<i>I have fucking fucked myself,</i> he thinks, dick twitching in his hand at the ideas floating in his head.</p><p>Perhaps his struggle was so visible that Koganegawa pities him.</p><p>Perhaps…watching someone trying to get off was arousing in its own way, after all. In any case, Kenji lifts his head a little when he notices Koganegawa leaning forward over his arms. That blush would never go away now. And yet when that funny shaped mouth opens, Koganegawa doesn’t sound as shy as he looks.</p><p>“Can I help?” Koganegawa asks, making it sound less like a question and more as if he knows the answer already. Kenji can only be glad that his voice sounds dry too. He scoffs with a laugh, as if the first year wouldn’t know a thing about it.</p><p>“You can do whatever,” he says, instead of the ‘No, I got it. Don’t worry,’ he intended to say. Slowing down, he watches Koganegawa inch forward gingerly. His shoulders dip, head leading towards Kenji’s chest. He lifts the shirt up further and out of Kenji’s hand, revealing most of the chest now. Kenji’s hand slows down more as he’s intent on watching Koganegawa; half-lidded eyes locked in on his nipple, first kissing the area around it before the lips close on top. He doesn’t suck it in just yet, just brushing his lips in a way that has Kenji’s balls squeeze tight together.</p><p>Kenji makes no sound, until Koganegawa travels to the other nipple—licking the space between—and keeps using his tongue. His big hand covers Kenji’s lower back, thumb brushing up and down. That brat has no business being so gentle and perfect…But Kenji smiles, being so cared for. Then there’s hardly anything in Kenji that can stop himself, as he moans out at the sweet ministrations. It might be a little embarrassing, but Kenji speeds up his hand movement, sighing out loud as Koganegawa’s mouth finally sucks his nipple a little harder. He’s pulling Kenji over an edge he didn’t know even existed, by being so careful and sweet.</p><p>“You can use your teeth. I’m not fragile, goddammit,” Kenji hisses a little, wanting to take it back as soon as he said it . Turns out he is fragile; when Koganegawa’s gentle teeth nibble at him, Kenji loses any resemblance of self-control. His hand speeds up faster, and his head tilts back as he moans wantonly for more. “Yes, like that,” he sighs.</p><p>Koganegawa’s hands shove the shirt up as much as he can. Kenji wouldn’t have minded biting down on the fabric. Koganegawa’s hands stroke up his sides, holding him in place as he dives between one nipple to the other, using everything he has to drive Kenji completely insane. With it, Koganegawa comes closer still, his hands running down to Kenji’s hips, past where the overalls have split from top to bottom. The thicker fabric there, Koganegawa grasps tightly. He drags Kenji over his thigh, as if Kenji weighs nothing at all. Kenji’s senses are in overdrive, as his penis touches over the rough overalls of his lover, his own once more too much in the way for any good grinding action; worse now. Kenji leans back, enjoying every bit of it. He’s never had his chest caressed and kissed like this. Worshipped</p><p>“Fuck yes,” he moans, having a steady fast rhythm now but trying to keep his penis pointed at his own stomach. Koganegawa’s mouth runs up and over his throat, a hunger so hot that it makes Kenji smile when their mouths meet for a searing kiss. There’s nothing sweet or careful about this one, as they simply try to ravage one another. Their tongues move as quick as Kenji’s hand, and he feels Koganegawa’s nails scratch his lower back…wanting him closer still. Kenji tries to lean back up, kiss Koganegawa deeper, maybe try to get both their overalls completely off.</p><p>But then Koganegawa pushes him off, making Kenji’s lower legs slide on top of his thighs. Kenji’s mouth cannot protest, as Koganegawa’s head dips—</p><p>all</p><p>the way</p><p>down</p><p>—to close around Kenji’s cock. Now the protests are swallowed down quickly, as Kenji does not want any of this to stop. Koganegawa removes the lower parts of the overalls, enough at least to let his hands roam over Kenji’s ass. That little shit—despite there being nothing little about him—spreads Kenji’s ass a little, just to play around, while his knuckles scrape over the bench. And Kenji can’t even curse, as his mind blows with Koganegawa shoving Kenji’s dick deeper into his mouth.</p><p>Completely at ease with throwing shame and self-control where it belongs as long as he can have this, Kenji lets his hips buck up into Koganegawa’s mouth. He’s offering, after all. Putting his hands flat behind him, Kenji leans on his arms, watching the full display of Koganegawa giving oral. <i>Damn, he’s better at this than me, the way he can go down so fast…</i> Kenji realizes, his body shuddering. He wants this to last, to enjoy it longer. The bright idea that pictures last longest enters his mind, and he manages to sneak out his phone from his overalls. He brings his elbow over the bench to hold on, his other hand close enough to Koganegawa’s moving head to let his fingers course through the bleached bangs. The rough texture sends sensations through Kenji’s fingers, and it’s the same feeling he gets when Koganegawa’s calloused and taped fingers run over his skin. Holding it tight, he makes Koganegawa stop his movements; at least, the head stops. The tongue keeps going wild over Kenji’s glans now.</p><p>“Yes, keep doing that,” Kenji pleads, swiping his thumb over his phone. From photo to video.</p><p>Kenji bites his lips, dinking his phone gently against Koganegawa’s temple first. “Hey, you don’t mind right? It’s just for…private stuff,” Kenji says, hating that he sounds more conspicuous than he is. He was trying to be honest…Koganegawa would perhaps say no, but his lips close around Kenji's glans; <i>doesn’t seem in any haste to release my dick,</i> Kenji guesses. He watches as Koganegawa’s eyes roll up to meet his. <i>Fuck. So that’s what that feels like…fuck,</i> Kenji curses inward, as he licks his lips. His fingers are unable to keep hold of the blond hair now; and Koganegawa uses that to his advantage, lowering his mouth back down the dick. He keeps up with the eye contact as he comes up once more, releases a low breathy sigh. Kenji’s entire body shudders with pleasure.</p><p>“Sure, Futakuchi-senpai,” Koganegawa says with such a low growl in the back of his throat, that earlier had Kenji’s dick down there, that Kenji himself thinks he could have sex with this boy right now. Instead, he taps on his phone, to open it up again to the video section. First, a picture after all. Koganegawa closes his eyes as he lowers himself down on Kenji again, ever so slowly. ‘Click’ when Kenji’s fully inside, another ‘click’ when Koganegawa’s hands hold tight onto Kenji’s hips. Kenji could watch those eyelashes flutter all day. Koganegawa’s tongue swirls over the thick vein, making Kenji’s eyes roll backwards, his thumb blindly pressing down for another photo. Then Koganegawa figures its time to torture Kenji more; what else to make of it, when Koganegawa’s godly mouth opens up to take Kenji’s cock all the way in again? Feeling that tongue rolling all over the base of his cock, Kenji doesn’t hold back his moans at all. Koganegawa seems reluctant to come back up again at all. Just takes Kenji so deeply, pleasuring him all the way down. Kenji takes the shake of the head as a delayed answer, then switches from photo to video once more. The sound beeps ‘on’, and suddenly Koganegawa starts to move his head. But he never goes all the way up, staying low and making Kenji curl his toes.</p><p>“Fuck, you’re so good at this, Koga,” Kenji says, shortening the name further as he can’t be bothered with speaking too much. But Koganegawa has to know so he’ll keep going. And he doesn’t have to continue much longer. </p><p>“Shit…Koga, I’m gonna come…” Kenji says, hoping it’s a fair enough warning to back off in time. Somehow he cannot see Koganegawa going away, and imagining him swallowing... Kenji’s breath becomes more erratic, his groaning increases in length and depth. His phone captures the audio too; a good thing, as Koganegawa’s groans and the way his mouth makes slurping sounds on Kenji’s dick need to be captured for private viewings later.</p><p>Kenji’s fingers curl into the blond hair, but afraid to hurt him, grip instead the top of the bench. His phone-hand stays steady, needing to get it all on camera. Kenji lets his head hang back, his mouth opening as shame is forgotten and left behind. Koganegawa takes him deep again, and while his style becomes more sloppy and wild, Kenji cannot complain. Not when he orgasms into that mouth. He holds onto the bench for dear life now, crying out Koganegawa’s full name.</p><p>Afterwards, Kenji looks soulfully into the sky. He was fucked. Not literally. <i>Not yet</i>.</p><p>He looks down again as his heartbeat still hammers in his collarbone. Koganegawa swallows alright, taking big gulps. But not everything stays inside; when his mouth finally comes off Kenji’s cock, there’s white threads, and Kenji films the last of his come running down, to be captures by Koganegawa’s ready tongue. Stopping the video, Kenji presses his lips shut. Something inside overwhelms him, makes his hand float back to the blond hair, caress it. Down to the red ear, the blushing cheeks.</p><p>“That was fucking amazing,” Kenji says softly, his thumb running over the pink hued skin. Koganegawa doesn’t look up, his hands somewhat awkwardly tapping onto Kenji’s exposed hipbones. Kenji’s limp cock lays over the lower parts of his stomach.</p><p>They manage to sit up side by side, Kenji having to stand up and get properly dressed. With some tissues and water they clean up, and Kenji soon has his shirt tucked into the overalls’ pants, and the sleeves are back over his arms. He doesn’t bother buttoning up, sits back close to Koganegawa. From another side pocket he reveals a pack of sour gummies, offering them to Koganegawa first. The blush on his kouhai’s face is gone, but remains bright and burning on his neck and ears.
</p><p>Kenji, his brow crooked and his smile gentle, bumps his knee.</p><p>“Hey, that really felt good. You’re pretty amazing at oral,” he says, meaning it thoroughly. Koganegawa nods his head in thanks, eating some of the offered sour gummies in silence. Kenji leans back, legs wide, completely satisfied as he eats his favourite snacks. He looks over to Koganegawa every now and then. The pink hues become less and less…but Koganegawa’s cheeks look as delicious as the sour gummies in Kenji’s mouth. He wants to eat him. Keep him.</p><p>Completely stupid thoughts enter his mind, and Kenji shakes his head. That gets Koganegawa’s attentions.</p><p>“Look, there was nothing shameful about that, okay? And you were so…into it. That was very sexy! You should relax a little, you know? You’re more nervous afterwards than when you give head!” Kenji laughs, liking to see Koganegawa flustered by the compliments. He rubs the back of his blond hair, saying ‘thanks’ a little louder this time. Kenji suffers a sigh. “C’mon, you had fun right?”</p><p>At this, Koganegawa faces him and nods furiously. “It was fun, Futakuchi-senpai!”</p><p><i>Keep him</i>. Kenji, a little taken aback when Koganegawa’s puppy warmth sparkles and blinds him. As a defense, he holds the sour gummies up between them once more, letting Koganegawa eat the last ones. He doesn’t share these with anyone. But Koganegawa really went for it, and deserves it all.</p><p>If only he would stop blushing so much! It makes Kenji nervous somehow, as if he too should be blushing and feel…something differently than the quiet happiness in his chest. Something bigger. Crazier.</p><p>“Futakuchi-senpai…my parents ehm…They’re not at t-th-the house this weekend. W-would you like to ehm,” Koganegawa starts, then hastily looks away. Kenji now sees how past the cheeks and the ears, Koganegawa’s neck becomes red too. <i>Fuck he’s so cute…I wanna bite him,</i> Kenji looks over the neck, wanting to bite it more so to make Koganegawa stop being so flustered. He turns to him, bringing one leg over the other and kicking Koganegawa’s shin lightly, prompting him to be a man and finish his sentences. “Would you like to come over to my place!?”</p><p>Kenji’s foot stays close to Koganegawa’s shin. He has his elbow on the bench, looking him over. Kenji got what he need, one photo of them kissing. He could say no. But what would be dumber; declining, or going?
</p><p>“Sure, I’ll come over,” he says with a smug grin. Koganegawa’s smile blinds him. It’s a sunflower that is growing past the rest in a big, wide field. The sun…it will burn the flower to a crisp…If he’s not careful, Kenji will burn too. But he can’t care, as his hand pulls Koganegawa’s overalls collar, and the man in it along into a languid and fluid kiss. He can’t care for the burn it will cause him, when Koganegawa leans forward, into him. Stroking his thigh without trying to push under the crossed over leg. There’s still so much innocence in his kiss, and Kenji hums as his tongue traces the shape of the mouth kissing him back. The little noises Koganegawa makes…Kenji wants to silence them.</p><p>Hear more of them.</p><p>He shouldn’t like this as much as he does. Then again…it’s just some necessary release. Needed for his body. Maybe make Koganegawa more relaxed too…</p><p>Koganegawa angles his head, and whatever thoughts are arguing in Kenji’s head, become mute as his tongue is drawn into heat and pleasure all over again. He snaps another picture during the kiss. Maybe to have the exact moment that his head was losing a battle against his heart.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Do I love him, do I not?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>smafnafnajk there’s so much I liked about this chapter TT also, heads up, there will be Kanji/Kenji. I’ve tried my best to make sure I have the a/e’s all right wwwww</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Gaaah,” Kenji groans, ruffling his hair with both hands. He immediately looks into the mirror, grumbling more as he now has to comb his hair again. “Shit,” he curses, and keeps saying it as he throws a shirt and pyjama bottoms into his bag, then upends the entire thing over his bed again. Condoms and lube fall out, and Kenji pouts down at the items. His phone beeps with a message, a welcome distraction to the chaos in his room.</p><p>Kenji picks the phone up and walks to his desk to lean against it; his chair has stacks of underwear, and his bed is not permitting space right now. His thumb opens the notification, which leads him to the LINE app and his chat with Koganegawa.</p><p><b>Kogganji: Futakuchi-senpai!</b> the message starts, as several others follow and are being typed.<br/>
<b>My mom asks if Brussel sprouts are okay!?<br/>
She bought them cheap and I love them.<br/>
**Because I love them.<br/>
But we didn’t know if you would eat sprouts or not!<br/>
Lemme know<br/>
**Let me know please<br/>
Otherwise I’ll get you something else!</b></p><p>Looking down at the sent sticker (a big panda flexing its furry muscle), Kenji glares at the first message.</p><p>“Who the fuck likes sprouts,” Kenji mutters, typing that sprouts are okay and he’ll eat them. What follows is a completely outlandish menu Kenji has only heard things of but never tasted. He says it’s all fine, not wanting to be a brat. He was packing sour gummies anyway, and if he only ate the bare minimum of the meal and was still hungry after… Maybe they could go to a conbini for more snacks. </p><p>He immediately throws his phone back to the bed with vengeance. Going to a conbini store together! “How domestic!” he scoffs at himself, tsk-ing and going back to the nightmare of packing. Never before has Kenji has this sort of trouble of packing for a simple overnight stay.</p><p>Koganegawa later lets him know that his mother will be gone, but that she prepared dinner with him in case Kenji arrives hungry. </p><p>“Cute,” Kenji says, then shakes his head. His own mother would eat out with friends today, and his father was away on a business trip. Basically, his home was empty too, but he already agreed to meet up with Koganegawa. And apparently, the food was already getting cooked too. Kenji sighs, then makes his final decisions clothe-wise. All black underwear, grey shirts; one sporty one for running, one to sleep in. He also packs running shorts and shoes, his large backpack spacious enough for it all. Socks, condoms, lube, sour gummies come all into one compartment, tissues, charger, headphones into another. This was a mistake. It’s been one from the start. </p><p>“I should have never said yes to that stupid bet,” Kenji says, not listening to his body protesting that sentiment. Not thinking of all the wonderful things he and Koganegawa could do. He’s at war with himself, trying to think of this as a simple little game. They would have some fun, hangout. Eat Brussel sprouts, apparently. Kenji would have to make sure to not let it go too far, or have feelings being involved. And yet, his entire being was most reluctant to simply show off that picture of him and Koganegawa kissing. He could collect that final bill already. Instead, he wants this more.</p><p>“Yosh, I packed,” he says, closing the top flap of his backpack. He then lifts it up, groaning as it’s heavier than it looks. He puts it down at the door, then gets dressed in something simple. Grey jeans with holes in them, and a rough-knit sweater with smaller holes here and there. T-shirt not needed, because extra layers would only be troublesome, he knew. </p><p>Downstairs he says goodbye to his mom, working on her laptop. Heading out, Kenji shrugs his shoulders up against the cold. He feels weird, going to Koganegawa’s. That was his dick wanting more, probably. Some sort of high he’d been on after the amazing blowjob. Kenji scratches an area behind his ear. In that moment…when they went too far that first time on the bench…he’d been so horny and drawn to the possibilities. Now, he was clear-minded—still heading over. The war within continued all the way in the subway too, and when Kenji got out at the station close to Koganegawa’s house, he looks up at the starry sky.</p><p>He should be clear with Koganegawa. More clear. Say again that it was just for fun. Kisses and more between friends. Release steam. Just…enjoy it without strings attached. Mutual benefits. Maybe Koganegawa got something wrong. Or he was as horny and desperate as Kenji for some action. Maybe Koganegawa didn’t get his heart involved at all. But no, Kenji cannot believe that. Not remembering the setter toss a ball up against a wall, neck blushing. All those times Koganegawa looked too cute for words—</p><p>“Futakuchi-senpai!” </p><p>Head to the sky, Kenji angles his head to the side. He watches Koganegawa, arms up and waving. He’s wearing a white t-shirt again, over light blue jeans—also distressed, but with bigger holes. On top he wears a light green and blue plaid shirt. And Kenji snorts when he sees the backwards cap. It’s bright green in colour.</p><p>“What the hell is that!?” Kenji says, turning in full to point at the cap when Koganegawa has run close enough. He pulls it off right away, seeing that it’s a team cap. “Oh, the Sendai Frogs? I didn’t know you were a fan. Why did you even pick a 2. division team?” Kenji asks, holding the cap up so that Koganegawa can duck under it. He doesn’t, first answering Kenji’s questions. In full detail. </p><p>Kenji keeps holding his arm up, until too much blood flow goes down his elbow.</p><p>On tiptoes, Kenji pulls the cap over Koganegawa’s head. As he doesn’t stop talking, Kenji pulls him forwards for a kiss. The station is deserted, and whoever has a problem can look the fuck away. Still, Kenji keeps it quick, pulling the cap a little down to the side in case any onlookers on the other side enjoy the show too much. Kenji leaves the cap slouched to that right side, looking at a stunned Koganegawa.</p><p>“I got it, they’re green. You like green things huh?” Kenji laughs, remembering the Brussel sprouts. Koganegawa nods.</p><p>“I’m a huge fan of the Hulk too!” he says, walking with Kenji down the stairs to leave the station. He takes two steps at a time with ease, and Kenji gets annoyed. So much that he tries it himself as Koganegawa recalls some sort of fight versus Iron Man..? Kenji has no idea who that is. Distracted, the sole of his feet doesn’t catch the next 2nd step, but the edge of it. Cold rushes through his lungs, as fright and the sudden fall overtake his reaction, making him panic instead.</p><p>“Senpai!” Koganegawa calls, and it’s his arms around Kenji pulling him back. Kenji stumbles, embarrassed beyond belief but safely on two (useless) feet. He rights himself, thanks Koganegawa—“Oh no, Futakuchi-senpai! I am so sorry! I will buy you a new one! Or—no, I can knit it back together!”</p><p>For a second Kenji must have been too shaken to know what the hell Koganegawa was on about. But then those large, strong, gentle hands lift Kenji’s elbow, to show off a hole that used to be tiny being split open. Koganegawa inspects it, nodding to himself. </p><p>“I can fix this at home, Futakuchi-senpai. I’m very sorry… Please forgive me.”</p><p>Kenji shakes his head, then pulls his arm free. “It’s nothing, Kogane. I was the one who nearly tripped so, it’s on me,” Kenji says, soothing his kouhai. Then he remembers that he should act surprised; after all, Koganegawa never told him he knit before, and he didn’t know that Kenji had seen him in the quad with the knit club. </p><p>“Y-you knit huh? So interesting,” Kenji says, his voice unnaturally high. Koganegawa tilts his head to the side.</p><p>And blinks.</p><p>“But Futakuchi-senpai, you knew that already?”</p><p>It’s Kenji’s turn to blink. Did Sakunami run his mouth!?</p><p>“I mean, you walked passed the crafts club the other day. My friends saw you, and said ‘Oh, isn’t that your club captain!’ But you were too far and…I didn’t want to yell after you and Sakunami so…I didn’t say anything.”</p><p>“Aah…Ah really?” Kenji laughs, his voice still too high a pitch. Looking where he’s going this time—and keeping it one step at a time—Kenji continues down the stairs. “I don’t think I saw you…It’s uh, Sakunami was. I think he lost something near the flowers? I helped him look and uhm, didn’t see you, I don’t think.”</p><p>
  <i>An unlikely story, you idiot! Who would not see him? He’s fucking 191 cm tall! And loud! Loud because he’s excited…But boisterous nonetheless! Not even the blind and death would miss him, that cute little—</i>
</p><p>“Ah, right. That explains it,” Koganegawa says, not realizing anything. Kenji looks at him, watches him go down the stairs, still 2 steps at a time. He hears from the boy himself about his part time club association, how he got into it. Kenji learns all about Koganegawa’s hobby as they walk down quiet streets, up a hill, then down a slope towards the Koganegawa residence.</p><p>“A mansion!?” Kenji exclaims, seeing a huge lit up mansion rise between trees and a big garden. What the Americans called mansions were huge things, and usually, Japanese ‘mansions’ didn’t quite live up to the name. But Koganegawa’s place was humongous.</p><p>“Ah no, that’s my grandparents! Ours is over here,” Koganegawa says, pointing towards the other street side and a considerably smaller and more normal looking house. It also said ‘Koganegawa’. “This way, senpai,” Koganegawa says, opening the gate and pulling out his keys from a metal chain; it was hidden under the long squared shirt. Kenji looks back to the insane looking house, then watches as Koganegawa opens the door. Tsk-ing, he then steps close to retrieve the green and blue fabric from where it got caught in the keychain. </p><p>“Don’t move around so much,” Kenji orders, as Koganegawa was bending and trying to look why Kenji was touching him.</p><p>“Ahh, that happens sometimes. Thank you, Futakuchi-senpai!”</p><p>Kenji was getting a headache. No one should be this kind and sweet. Moniwa fussed. Aone had his moments. But Koganegawa was full-on cute. Needing some space, Kenji steps back and lets Koganegawa enter first, before following along. Before Koganegawa can get too far away with his likely hospitality, Kenji takes him by the elbow. Careful not to rip it.</p><p>“Hold on. I told you so many times.. Ugh, just say ‘Kenji’, okay?” Kenji says, wishing he hadn’t done or said anything when Koganegawa gives him that stupid look again. “It’s just, ‘Futakuchi-senpai’ is such a mouthful. I get tired hearing it all the time.”</p><p>“But—”</p><p>“No buts!” Kenji says, then, eyes twinkling, steps into Koganegawa’s space. He lets his hands run under Koganegawa’s plaid shirt, down to his ass. Cupping it, Kenji pulls their body close. He kisses Koganegawa’s protest and surprise silent. “Any objections, and you don’t get any more kisses tonight.”</p><p>Kenji feels brave enough to kiss Koganegawa again, touch his ass. His glutes are hard as hell; Kenji likes it, pushes his own body against the slightly taller one. Koganegawa’s arms loop around him. His head dips down, deepens the kiss with a hum. <i>Well fucking done, Kenji. Can’t even get your horny ass past the entrance!</i> Parting from Koganegawa’s lips with a soft sound, Kenji turns away. He cannot see that dazed, cute little face right now. </p><p>He rids his feet off his shoes, then walks straight ahead into a large kitchen area. The smell of nice food lingers here. </p><p>Behind him, Koganegawa is testing out the sound of his name. Of course, with honorifics. </p><p>“Kenji-san. Kenji…kun? No that’s not right,” Koganegawa says to himself, and Kenji turns with a sigh.</p><p>“What’s wrong with just ‘Kenji’? We’re intimate, and I told you its fine.” As soon as he says it, Kenji has to turn his head. Because it was not fine. Why did he care? Why should he make Koganegawa say his first name like that…But there weren’t any options he otherwise would be okay with. Futa-san. <i>Kuchi,</i>-san. Kuchi-kun sounds even worse! And Koganegawa was reluctant to drop the honorifics.</p><p>“Would you…then also call me by my first name, senpai?” Koganegawa asks, and Kenji wasn’t ready when he turned around; that voice had sounded so normal. The mouth that spoke it, knowing the feel of the lips that currently keep as much of a straight line as Koganegawa can manage. Kenji’s heart sinks when he sees how hard Koganegawa is blushing. Turning all the way around and walking back, Kenji doesn’t know why he got himself into such a troublesome situation. But he doesn’t want to get out of it, either. Not just yet.</p><p>“Kenji and Kanji. God, that’s so stupid,” he laughs, then nods. “Kanji, then. But hey, Koga and Kogane were short at least!”</p><p>There’s no way around it however. Koganegawa appears to be too stubborn about the informality. “It wouldn’t be right for me to call you so familiar though!”</p><p>“<i>Fine</i>. It’s not my favourite, but the other options are worse,” Kenji pouts, then says, “Ken-san or Ken-senpai. But not Ken-kun. How about it?” He now watches as Koganegawa—Kanji, tries out both options. And smiles in a way that makes all of Kenji’s resolutions and vows to himself fade away. The way Kanji tilts his head to the side, and smiles so sweetly, burns through him.</p><p>“Ken-san,” he says, way too softly and gently. Kenji guesses that he keeps digging his own grave deeper and deeper.</p><p>
  <i>All the way down…Ugh no don’t think about the blowjob again!</i>
</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>“Shit, this ain’t bad,” Kenji says, loading up the next sprout-sauce-potato-meat combo delicately onto his fork. It was weird not to use chopsticks, but also easy to see why the fork was easier to use with this foreign food. The sprouts alone were a bit bitter, but the smaller ones with the sauce tasted so good. His plate is already half empty. Kanji smiles, giving him a second helping already.</p><p>“My mom likes to try out new dishes and foreign foods a lot!” Kanji explains, taking more sprouts and meat than potato and sauce. It’s something Kenji noticed at school lunch and training camps too. Or when they went out to eat fast-food. Kanji would take burgers and salad, but stay away from fries and only ever stealing some from Sakunami now and then. Hoping to sound the minimum amount of interested and just super nonchalant about it, Kenji pricks the next potato, and points utensil and cooked root vegetable at Kanji.</p><p>“Say, Kanji,” he tries out slowly, watching the tip of Kanji’s ear turn reddish. “You don’t eat lots of these huh? Are you a rice man like a good Japanese boy?” What he didn’t expect is to see Kanji shrink down in himself. He looks at his plate, now merely shoving a sprout around. Shaking his head, a sad smile spreads on the usual happy face. </p><p>About to take it back, Kenji opens his mouth. Kanji is faster.</p><p>“My body puts on a lot of weight if I eat stuff like pasta or potatoes. I love them but…I gain more weight when I eat it. Bread too. I can eat a reasonable amount of rice, but my…doctor,” Kanji says, glancing up at Kenji before looking down again, “Said I should be careful with that too. She said I should eat more vegetables, and lean meat. Given that I’m doing sports now, my weight has been mostly good. But…I have to be careful.”</p><p>Kanji says so, poking a potato piece with his fork. He shrinks more, as if he’s about to not eat it.</p><p>Pouting, Kenji leans his legs out. He doesn’t reach Kanji’s, whose put his feet under his chair and out of the way.</p><p>“So? You have a good physique, Kanji. And if you eat a potato more, so what? We can go on a run tomorrow morning.”</p><p>He’s somewhat glad to see Kanji smile and nod, then eat and unfold from his shrunk form.</p><p>They eat and silence, Kenji retracting his legs back to himself. Kanji was big and he knew it; despite his height, he never ‘looked down’ on people. He was kind and caring, and had a lot of respect for people like Sakunami who had different strengths, and were strong despite the lack of height. But Kanji was also careful with his body; as if it wasn’t just height that was imposing. As if he took too much space otherwise. Kenji has seen the differences now; in practice, where everyone was big and strong or louder, Kanji was free. But within the school, around others…he made himself as small as possible. Went out of the way, backed off. Kenji’s heart clenches, knowing that feeling…to take up more space than others. </p><p>He looks at his empty plate, chewing the last of the meat and sprout in his mouth. Swallowing, Kenji starts softly.</p><p>“I was a chubby kid. My parents they eh, they had a rough time when I was 3 ½ years old? Not with me, but with each other. Their marriage had some…issues. I lived with my grandparents for a while. When I was 5, they had fed me more sweets than my parents would have ever allowed.” Kenji smiles, thinking back of the pictures of himself and his grandma. His grandfather always had the camera ready. Kenji never understood; he thought his grandfather was a photographer, and later that they just wanted to have a lot of memories. It took him 10 years to understand those photos were meant for his parents. To at least have some sort of memories, although they themselves haven’t been there to witness it.</p><p>“When my dad picked me up, he was in shock. He and my mom immediately put me on the soccer team in our neighbourhood, thinking the running around would be the fastest way to lose weight.” He laughs up, not trying to laugh it off too much or act like it never bothered him. “I know about dieticians, Kanji. And nutrition. It’s fine you know! When I was 8, I was a skinny kid again and had a lot of fun running anywhere. The way we train, we’ll won’t gain weight fast, and I’m sure Nametsu keeps an eye on our fat percentage too. We build muscle, dense and strong.”</p><p>Instead of shrinking, Kanji softens. Instead of pitying him, he smiles in understanding. Kenji never knew why his parents separated for that time in his childhood; they called it a rough patch in their marriage, even now in joking. He didn’t know why neither of them could take care of him. He loved his grandparents, and hadn’t missed a thing or felt unloved a single day in his life. His parents, moving across prefectures to be far away from each other, had kept up to date with him via calls. He just thought they were on a long vacation, going somewhere children weren’t allowed to go. And his grandparents had kept him company in that time, making sure he lacked nothing. Made sure he wouldn’t feel unloved. Even when they just gave him a lot of sweets…</p><p>“Are sour gummies the only candies you allow yourself to have now, Ken-san?” Kanji asks, taking their plates to the sink. Kenji stretches his arms up and links his arms behind his head, stretching his legs out again.</p><p>“I like other candies too. But we gotta stay healthy. And sour gummies,” he starts, dreamily closing his eyes. “I love sour things, period. But the gummies are the best. I could eat them for hours, even if my tongue goes numb. So when I have an unhealthy craving, it’s the one thing I’ll let myself have. And hamburgers with a milkshake.”</p><p>An understanding hum comes as the response. The sound of Kanji cleaning dishes, the promise of green tea and fruit as desert. Kenji keeps his eyes closed, feeling at home here. It’s probably what made him open up about being a chubby kid. Not that his heart has grown too soft, he hopes. But it was dangerous, being entrapped already in the domesticity. Still, he avoided one crisis, he thinks. Falling in love…he couldn’t let it happen. Kanji definitely deserves better.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>The crisis was fully back on track, and Kenji wasn’t ready when it hit him. He’d just been minding his own business.</p><p>Sitting with his back against Kanji’s bed, he was leafing through one of the manga lying about. It caught Kenji’s attention, because the cover had been light pink—two adult men were on it, back to chest, one’s lip to the other’s forehead. Kenji smiles, thumb flicking the pages as he looks through the Male Love manga. There weren’t many around to see, and he wonders if Kanji hid them somewhere.</p><p>But nothing could surprise him as Kanji himself, walking into the room with damp hair all the way flat. Two parts of his black accents were swept to one side, while the other one third lay on the other side. Kenji folds the manga close, hiding it behind his raised knee, as his eyebrow arches up.</p><p>“You should have told me you were taking a bath! We could have gone together,” Kenji sulks. Kanji let him into the room earlier, saying he had to walk a neighbour’s dog. Kenji hadn’t heard him come back, nor heard the bathroom at the end of the hallway…For someone as large and boisterous as Kanji, it was a quite a feat to move around unnoticed. Then again, Kenji figures that Kanji might have a soft thread on bare feet within his own home. <i>Or,</i> Kenji wonders with a pout, <i>he had a reason to sneak around and not alert me.</i> </p><p>Kenji grins. “Did you eh, take care of yourself or something?” He asks, watching as Kanji’s face becomes flushed.</p><p>“N-no, I was just…I wasn’t thinking and I have this routine,” Kanji explains, counting the dinner, helping with dishes, walking the dog, sometimes doing other chores, and then go straight up to the bathroom. “I’m sorry!” </p><p>“It’s fine, it’s fine. I will take my revenge on you for forgetting I existed,” Kenji says almost too seriously, making Kanji nearly go down onto his knees to apologize. “I was joking! Plus, I wasn’t bored,” Kenji says, revealing the manga he had been reading. ‘Reading’ was a strong word, as he had been just leafing through to look at the spicy parts. “You got just this one or are you hiding your collection?” </p><p>Kanji’s face has hardly calmed down or his ears become bright red while his eyes glance to the manga. Kenji watches as the realization that Kanji forgot to hide it back where more might be hits him. He’s so flustered that Kenji takes pity on him, putting the manga back on the table where he found it. Getting up completely, Kenji stretches his arms. </p><p>“Well, if the bath is ready, then I’ll be going. Got enough funky material in my head now, so it might take a while!” He says, lies, and flirts as he passes by Kanji. Kenji’s hand brushes the other boy’s shoulder, not thinking much of the tease nor the touch. For as many things as he wasn’t ready for, the hand grasping his wrist is just one more thing adding to the already long list. He waits, looking back to Kanji who had turned sideways to catch him. He’s still red-eared, eyes looking down. When they glance up and see Kenji looking back, Kanji’s eyes immediately shift away once more. He’s nervous all over, but his hand is warm. His hold not too tight.</p><p>Kenji could free himself. Or take the hand. Pull Kanji in and kiss him. <i>Why the fuck not..?</i> his entire being asks, and he does as he pleases, pulling Kanji into a soft kiss. There’s no gasp, no widened eyes. Perhaps this is what Kanji had wanted to do but didn’t dare to complete. Kenji smiles into the kiss, as their upper bodies press together, bare feet touching. </p><p>Kanji’s hand travels up from the wrist to Kenji’s elbow, untaped fingers gently going across. Angling his head because it makes Kanji a little wilder, Kenji’s unable to contain his grin from spreading when Kanji’s tongue becomes more daring. Kanji’s body presses over him, his other hand in Kenji’s neck and hair. He was the perfect mix of softness and strength, of being able to dominate a little, but without being too overbearing. And his kisses were everything. What got him into this mess, how to get out of it, simply cease to exist in Kenji’s mind as he melts into Kanji’s offered warmth and care.</p><p>Letting his hands run under Kanji’s shirt, Kenji explores his back a little more. The shirt rides up, and Kenji enjoys feeling Kanji’s excited shivering as Kenji’s fingertips caress higher and higher up, exposing more to his greedy hands. Kanji’s build is amazing; he has back muscles Kenji knows only Aone and Kamasaki have trained for. And those arms; Kenji wouldn’t mind being held within those. Kanji hardly embraces him when they kiss…For now, the hands conduct a more gentle approach. Unlike Kenji’s, whose nails scratch down Kanji’s entire back. He loves the way Kanji’s lower body curves into him, feeling want press close. Kenji’s teeth nibble Kanji’s lower lip, pulling as his own want bulges back to Kanji’s.</p><p>“Ohhh, I’ll definitely be taking a while to shower before my bath now,” Kenji murmurs, eyes full of lust when he looks up. Kanji’s own face is scrunched up, his lids firmly closed. Taking it easy on his kouhai, Kenji pulls the hem of the shirt back down and pats it, then his palms brush over Kanji’s pecs. “You go and wait for me, mhn? We can continue on the bed,” he says, kissing Kanji’s chin before leaving.</p><p>His heartbeat hammers in his throat, yelling at him that this is a mistake.</p><p>His dick is yelling too, wanting to stay.</p><p>And Kenji’s head just needs a good cold shower and a dunk under the hot bath water.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>As a man of his word, the first thing Kenji does when he comes back is dim the lights. He saw it on his way out, the dimmer having several settings including coloured lights. He now looks at the bulb, dimming it a little but making sure he’d still see. Kanji looks at him though, with worry. <i>Bit not good,</i> Kenji thinks, then grins at Kanji.</p><p>“A pink setting huh?” he says, just teasing. But even in the dim light he can see Kanji’s burning ears. Not wanting to overdo it or call Kanji out, Kenji doesn’t mess with the colours. He brushes his towel over his neck, then leaves it over Kanji’s chair as he approaches the bed Kanji had been waiting on. Sadly, there isn’t a bulge anymore. Naturally, Kenji can change that. But he doesn’t go right onto the mark, wanting to take it slow for Kanji’s sake.</p><p>Sitting next to him, their bare legs touching under sleeping shorts they both wear, Kenji turns to his kouhai.</p><p>“Sooo, you never told me where the rest of your stash is,” Kenji says, having noticed the manga has disappeared from sight.</p><p>Kanji looks away, and for a second Kenji gets worried because he’s said so little after dinner. Was he regretting all of this? Maybe Kenji has taken it too far already. Should he put some distance between them? Now nervous himself, Kenji raises his hands in a gesture of apology.</p><p>“Look, I’m sorry if I came on too strong. We don’t have to do anything unless you want to!” Kenji says, flailing around and trying to lighten up the mood. “We can do a bunch of stuff, like,” Kenji trails off, looking around him. All he wants to do is explore Kanji, all the way.</p><p>“T-That’s not, Ken-san…I just. It’s that..! You…” Kanji says, then looks to his knees, brows furrowing. “I never thought I’d be someone who…of whom it was expected that he had certain stuff,” he glances at Kenji, who is getting lost. Kanji explains. “Like…a stash…Do you think I’m a pervert?”</p><p>“Wha…no!” Kenji laughs, sitting up. “I mean, most people have like…a secret stash, right? For when they’re alone. Stuff we don’t want other people to see. I just figured! Because you had that manga, but I didn’t see any other books around.” It seems to help, as Kanji slowly unwinds and looks more perky than before. Kenji continues, wanting to clear the air. “I got a box too you know, with like…pictures and reading material. And uh,” <i>shit shit shit</i> “O-o-other things too!” </p><p>Now he was getting flustered. But Kanji seems more relaxed. He gets off the bed and towards a small bookcase. With one hand—and it shouldn’t turn Kenji on as much as it does—he holds an entire stack of books, tilting them forward to reach behind them. Never letting the stack fall, Kanji retrieves a non-descriptive grey box; it’s lidless, with lighter grey packing paper on top of it. The books bounce back into place when Kanji tilts them back. He brings the box to the bed, sitting on the edge. Blush full-blown, reaching his neck now. Kenji has to do everything in his might not to just bite that cute neck.</p><p>Instead, he crosses his legs in front of him, peering towards the paper and what might be below. Kanji turns to him, one leg dangling over the edge of his bed, the other foot below the knee. He’s still a little hesitant, the box balancing on the knee that’s lying down on the bedspread. </p><p>Being the bigger person and not making Kanji do anything, Kenji pulls the box to him. He’s careful when he lifts the paper, not wanting to rip it. There’s books alright, some less romantic and more erotic looking than the one he was looking through before. One, Kenji sees, has an interesting cover; one man definitely looks younger than the other one, but the cover suggest the older one to be submissive. Kanji takes shuddering breathe as Kenji lifts it up for inspection. There’s condoms in the box, lots of flavoured lubrication, and pink plush handcuffs. </p><p>“I—that is eh…” Kanji starts, but Kenji shakes his head. He smiles, turning the book to read the soundbites. As he figured, it’s a romantic love story between two guys at work—the older one (26) is the bottom looking for regular release at work. The younger one (21), just started at the company. Kenji reads the words ‘service top’, snorts at it. He’s heard of power bottoms before, considered himself one. But he’s never heard of a version like this for tops. Most guys Kenji has been with, even if they didn’t do much more than masturbate, had been so dominating and selfish.</p><p>Kanji was different. In every single way. Better too.</p><p>Pressing the book’s corner with the cover facing Kanji to his cheek, Kenji let’s his eye lids drop sensually.</p><p>“So you’re into this kinda thing hm? Is it okay that I’m not <i>that</i> much older, Kanji-kun?” He asks with a teasing tone, once more loving it to see Kanji a bit flustered. He shakes his head, but doesn’t meet Kenji’s eyes. “It’s fine, you know? We all have our preferences,” Kenji says, putting the book down on the bed. He rummages through the box, touching the handcuffs. “Are these for me?” </p><p>“N-n-no, senpai, you misunderstand…”</p><p>“I do?” Kenji asks, unable to stop smiling. He lets the cuffs fall down. “I have some toys at my place that are just for me, you know? But we can play with them together if you visit. Or…you’ll use them on me, if you feel like it,” Kenji offers, knowing he’s left out what kind of toys he has or what they can do. He doesn’t get to naming them either, as Kanji breaks.</p><p>“I-I-I am not like that…I don’t take charge,” Kanji says, stammering. Kenji puts the box aside on the floor. Taking pity, he lets his hands caress Kanji’s knees.</p><p>“I can adjust, you know? I don’t mind going either way,” Kenji explains, feeling cowardly for not speaking more clearly. Kanji evidently has a hard time right now, and Kenji could try and be a bit more kinder. He leans forward, his palms pressing perfectly into Kanji’s knees. His voice capes itself in sweetness, leaving any sense of teasing behind. “I don’t mind giving or receiving. I’m open for both, when the guy is right. And—” <i>fuck me I cannot say it I shouldn’t say it Kenji shut your mouth stop</i> “—I think you’re the right guy.”</p><p>He leans forward, head tilting and dipping so he can kiss Kanji—and make sure he doesn’t say more stupid stuff. Kenji doesn’t hold back, bringing the heat he feels and transfers it all at once. His tongue sliding between Kanji’s lips, hungrily taking what’s there to take. Kanji’s response is not quite there, but he opens his mouth in return, whimpering a little. Kenji chances a glance down, kissing Kanji’s jawline. He’s hard again. Kind as he his, Kenji brings his hand to the bulge slowly—first his hand trails up from the knee to the inside of Kanji’s thigh. The shivering returns, but Kenji interprets the whimpering accompanying it as want. His fingers go under the shorts, scratching back gentler this time than with the backside. His hand then slowly slides over the fabric, over the hardening cock beneath it. </p><p>“Fuck you’re so big,” Kenji says, nibbling Kanji’s jawline. “Surely you know how to take charge with that…it would be such a loss for the world if no one teaches you.” Kenji’s voice is warm, wanton, and breathing out heavily over Kanji’s face. He increases his caressing, his other hand’s fingers digging around Kanji’s knee.</p><p>“S-senpai,” Kanji says, his voice higher pitched. Kenji wants to give him a way out. For the both of them. A way to stop this before it gets out of control.</p><p>“If you don’t want this…tell me. I’ll back off. For good,” Kenji says, head leaning back so he won’t crowd in on Kanji too much or pressure him. As a power bottom, this was perfect pray. He could easily take Kanji down, make him feel good and want it more too. But there was no fun in it if the other person didn’t 100% want it too. Kenji could work with 80%, seduce any shyness and fear away. But not lower than that.</p><p>Kanji shakes his head, making Kenji’s heart sink. Then those large warm hands land on Kenji, pushing him down to the bed. With Kanji spreading himself between Kenji’s legs, over his body. Kissing him back, answering with his hips circling over Kenji’s. With nothing to lose, and no care in the world for the consequences, Kenji’s legs widen, stretch up and around Kanji to encourage him to continue. Kanji’s arms are under him now, holding him close, his body not clumsy, just a little unpolished and too stiff in his movements. But Kanji knows how to move, what feels good. Kenji’s own hard penis runs over Kanji’s, as the heat in him builds. With the heel of his foot, he pulls down Kanji’s sleeping shorts, then the underwear below them. The heavy cock falls on his stomach, already leaking precum. </p><p>“S-sorry,” Kanji murmurs, his voice the polar opposite of before—it’s deep now, raspy. Turning Kenji on more and more. He smiles, his hand already on Kanji’s penis, stroking it.</p><p>“Nothing to be sorry about if it feels good for us both, right?” He says, feeling phony. Like the sentence means more to him than it does to Kanji. Kanji doesn’t even answer, his entire body shaking now. Kenji relaxes his legs, then takes Kanji’s face in his hands. </p><p>“Look at me,” Kenji commands, looking at Kanji’s tightly closed lids. “Kanji, open your eyes.”</p><p>He does, one after the other. Cute beyond words. <i>A mistake a mistake a mistake a mistake.</i></p><p>“Now, if you’re too shy to tell me what you like or what you want to do, should I start? I’ll start,” Kenji says right after, already seeing Kanji battling with himself. “I’m very much into this. I think you’re capable of taking control. You’re a setter after all, and setters are selfish, hungry, ambitious beings.” Kanji’s cock twitches on Kenji’s stomach, who has to concentrate on his words. On making Kanji feel safe. “And I’ll tell it to you plain; I like guys that are taller than me, who have more muscles. But with strength, we’re equal. I can also take charge, you know? And I can also do it while having you inside of me. You know what that is, right? You manga taught you.”</p><p>Kanji nods. Kenji is glad he doesn’t have to say he’s power bottom out loud.</p><p>“I need you to be honest with me, Kanji. That service top, the younger guy. Do you like that? Do you want that for yourself too? It’s fine if you’ve never done anything like that guy in the story. But tell me if you want to try it,” Kenji says softly. Kanji’s head nods a little more hesitant within his hands. “Good. Very good. So, you have never been in that position, I guess?” Kanji shakes his head. Meaning that Kenji has to teach him; and how joyful that can be… “Have you…ever been with anyone before?”</p><p>“I had…I did stuff but…it wasn’t more than petting and uh…mutual masturbation.”</p><p><i>I knew it he’s a virgin I can’t do this I should stop this don’tdon’tdon’tdon’t.</i> Kenji swallows, feeling a heavier weight than Kanji’s want on his stomach, a heavier heat than what courses through his own lower body. He focuses on Kanji’s face, his eyes. He’s a little nervous, but hopefully not scared. Maybe he just needs a little push into the right direction. If not, then Kenji would back off as promised.</p><p>“Do you trust me to take care of you?” Kenji asks, in pure disbelief how level his voice is. How mature and kind. Was he so horny and desperate that he’d do anything to have this? Or what the hell was he doing…</p><p>In his hands, warm cheeks rubbing over calloused hands, Kanji nods.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Kenji makes the very smart decision to not go all the way. What little of experiences Kanji has…they’ll explore that further if tonight proves successful. For one, Kanji has never fingered another guy. And Kenji is beyond desperate to be filled. Even if it’s not Kanji’s hard penis, currently begging to be touched. Kenji obliges, rubbing the hefty cock between his hands, as he kisses Kanji into sitting up, and back into the cushions. Despite being the one who pushed him down before, Kanji appears eager to lean back.</p><p>“You want me sitting on top, yes?” Kenji asks, grinning. Kanji’s speech might have left him completely, because all he does is nod. “Good, because same-sies,” Kenji says, spreading his thighs over Kanji’s. Not quite sinking into the lap, as he keeps their penises lined up first. </p><p>“Mhnnn so good. Ever done this before?” Kenji asks, and Kanji shakes his head. He’s blushing so hard, and those strong thighs are warm under Kenji’s. “Right…so, put your hands around my junk. Exactly like that that…feels good right?” Kenji asks, as he slowly moves his hips so that his penis slides over Kanji’s. Putting one hand on Kanji’s shoulder, Kenji moves with more confidence, as Kanji’s breathe hitches. He’s not small himself, but Kanji’s penis is longer and thicker. The sheer girth of it makes Kenji want to put him inside already, but he promised Kanji in a whisper that they wouldn’t do that tonight.</p><p>“That’sso good, Ken-san,” Kanji moans, slurring words together into one. Kenji can only agree.</p><p>“Would you want me, specifically, to feel even better?” Kenji asks, horny beyond believe. Glad Kanji nods his head, he takes one of those large hands and puts it behind himself. “Play around, I’ll hand you the lube,” Kenji says, having chosen a banana flavour earlier and put it aside on the bed. No cuffs there, as it was more for advantaged users. Two condoms lay beside Kenji’s foot, to make sure they wouldn’t make a mess later on. For now their cocks were unshielded, nice and warm as they rub together.</p><p>Kanji’s fingers are gentle and careful. He doesn’t even squeeze Kenji’s ass, who wouldn’t have minded in the least. Those fingers…they’re long and sweet, inching closer towards Kenji’s asshole.</p><p>“You finger yourself?” Kenji asks, his face warm, his body starting to show pearls of sweat. Kanji looks up to him, then shakes his head. </p><p>“I’ve tried a few times but…it doesn’t feel good…”</p><p>Kenji snorts. “But you believe yourself a bottom? Ah never mind that…I know how to make you feel good,” Kenji says, his balls sliding against Kanji’s. They need lube there too, it would feel so much better. “Then, show me what you’ve tried with your fingers. I’ll tell you what I like.”</p><p>Kenji conjures a lot of patience and dignity into him as Kanji’s fingers hesitate to slide closer. Lubed as they are now, Kenji’s ass reacts right away. He pushes it back a little, making Kanji have to hold him still. There it was, that slight dominating streak. Kenji was right after all, Kanji was a born setter. But when the tips of his fingers get close enough, Kanji shuts his eyes. A pure look of concentration slides over him, and Kenji manages not to laugh or mock. With one hand on Kanji’s dick, making it press against his and against his stomach, Kenji reaches behind to help Kanji’s hand out. He separates two fingers, pushing them together, then guides them inside. As soon as the first knuckle goes in, Kanji pushes his own fingers further, making Kenji sigh louder.</p><p>“Right, now, with me you don’t have to go slow,” Kenji says, his hand palming Kanji’s to physically remind him of that. “Speed it up a little.” And Kanji does, his fingers very straight. Kenji bites his lips. “Won’t you look at me, Kogane?” He says using the shortened last name. Kanji’s eyes flick open at once. That blush would never fade at this point. His fingers speed up as asked, and Kanji looks…unhappy. Kenji doesn’t get it, trying not to think too much about it. </p><p>“You have two hands, use them,” he instructs, glad to first have his ass-cheek squeezed. “I’ll take care of this,” Kenji promises, palming Kanji’s dick with both his hands. He just has to slide his own cock up and down to get more out of it for himself. Plus, Kanji adds another from his other hand. Kenji bites his lip again, now that Kanji can see it, and tilts his head back. He whispers Kanji’s name, his given name, and receives playful bites on his nipples for it. Then he understands the look earlier; he said ‘Kogane’, and not ‘Kanji’. He should remember that.</p><p>“Yeah, better,” he says, his hands jerking Kanji off a little faster. Hips thrusting forward, Kenji can make sure his dick isn’t neglected. “Kanji, curl your fingers a bit…yeah like that,” Kenji moans a little harder as Kanji’s fingers become bolder, adding another and a third from his second hand. It feels so good that Kenji presses himself down, his hand letting go of Kanji’s dick to support him as he places them on Kanji’s shoulder instead. His hips keep moving, making sure their cocks keep sliding over one another. Kanji moves his too, up and into that heat. His breath becomes deeper, and Kenji smiles when he looks down.<br/>
Kanji doesn’t look unhappy; he likes this, wants more…that look he gives is one Kenji is familiar with. Someone fully capable to dominate him, fuck him into the bed and not stop—</p><p>“Ken-san…” he breathes up, and Kenji’s spine hollows out as he bends all the way down to kiss Kanji with that same hunger and need. Kanji’s hand press him down, making him move, fingering him and making him feel fulfilled and wanted. Now it’s Kenji who whimpers, his jaw slacking as he moans out louder. Using Kanji’s name, over and over, until he comes all over his cock and stomach; Kenji puts his forehead to Kanji’s, looking down between them. Grinning, he slides his ass over Kanji’s dick, whose spine aches up, the wave rolling through his body bucking his hips up and into Kenji’s. One more time, and he comes too, adding more come onto his already stained stomach. Kenji licks his lips, wishing it was just Kanji’s come, and that he could lick it up.</p><p><i>Why the hell not, he deserves it,</i> Kenji guesses, as they forgot the condoms too. Kenji slides down the bed, and between Kanji’s shivering thighs as he cleans all the come up. Kanji’s more and thicker, and Kenji’s hungrily licks it all up and humming with pleasure. It doesn’t taste too bitter either…Unlike his, at which he gags a little.</p><p>“K-Ken-san,” Kanji wonders, almost asking. Kenji looks up, his face now framed within those warm hands, watching Kanji bend his body to kiss him. It stills Kenji completely, and then he melts forward into that sweet warmth. If Kanji wants to share… Kenji slides all the way up into his lap again, this time making sure his ass properly connects with Kanji’s dick. They’re both hard in seconds, as Kanji’s mouth goes wild over Kenji’s mouth, his jaw, kissing his throat and shoulders. Kenji brings his arms under Kanji’s armpits, embracing him as they both sit up.</p><p>Gently, Kenji caresses one side of Kanji’s bleached head. He doesn’t move his lower body too much, so into the kisses being layered all over his throat and left shoulder. He brings his own mouth close to Kanji’s reddened ear, first kissing it before whispering.</p><p>“Do you want to continue..?” He asks, impossible to hold back how much he wants Kanji to just rail him senseless. But Kenji wasn’t just being horny, or wanting someone to take control, or teaching his kouhai. And it wasn’t because he didn’t have any action for some months…Deep in his heart, Kenji realizes how much he likes Kanji. How much he wants the body and the soul and the heart; to be his. And so that Kenji could be all Kanji ever wanted.</p><p>Which is bad. Very bad! This wasn’t supposed to go on this long or become so deep. </p><p>Kanji’s lips stop kissing him, but not until he made his way back up to his mouth. He doesn’t look at Kenji, but he shakes his head. Kenji’s fine with that, his fingers keeping on caressing Kanji’s head. He kisses Kanji, feeling how they both calm down despite the position and how they’re naked bodies slowly entwine together. Kenji kisses Kanji back into the bed, and Kanji holds on to him, stretching out below. Curling up, Kenji puts his head under Kanji’s chin. If the other wasn’t ready, Kenji could control himself. He feels the unused condom packages cold against his leg.</p><p>“I like your hands a lot,” Kenji murmurs, eyes closing. They should turn off the lights. Kanji murmurs something, and as Kenji doesn’t move, he feels his body lifted a little when Kanji puts a blanket over them and throws the lubrication and condoms off—by the sound of it, into the box where Kenji took it out from. The light goes out completely, and Kenji hears something like a small remote being dropped onto the nightstand. He could fall asleep like this; with Kanji’s arms around him, fingers caressing into the land of dreams.</p><p>And they both do.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Kenji wakes up to a steady heartbeat. It’s loud in his ear, and he opens his eyes. He’s lying further down than how he feel asleep, but other than that very much in the same position as the night before. He takes a breath, feeling warm and cosy under the blanket and the weight of Kanji’s arms still around him. Kanji’s body is perfect; it has so much warmth to give, is hard and soft in all the right places. Sadly, Kenji doesn’t feel any hardness pressing into the side of his thigh, which lies over Kanji’s lap. Maybe another time. He already knew the weight and feel of Kanji’s cock. In his hands, on his tongue. </p><p>And strangely enough, Kenji wants to feel it again. Pleasure him, <i>then put him inside…God, I’m so dumb!</i> Kenji disentangles himself from Kanji. Manages to lift the blanket and put more distance between them. He sits further away on the bed, his head in his hands. This isn’t good, and he should definitely stop. Defeated, he looks back to Kanji, still fast asleep. Smiling to himself, Kenji’s hands go under the blanket, over Kanji’s calf muscle. He could tickle him away, or let that hand go up higher…</p><p>“Kenji-san,” Kanji says in his sleep, making Kenji’s hand retreat as if burned.</p><p> </p><p>Breakfast is nice. Kenji eats a lot, having spent quite a bit of energy last night and again in the bathroom this morning. Kanji had woken up to the sound of running water, and Kenji got away with it saying he just washed his face. Then, Kenji had watches as Kanji knit the ripped hole in his black knit-long sleeve. He looks so serene while doing it, that Kenji couldn’t stop watching until a loud “Tada! Done!” came from Kanji.</p><p>“Oh, thanks,” Kenji says, making sure to pack it away before anything else happens to it. After, Kanji has made breakfast, not allowing a now pouting Kenji to help. </p><p>They soon dig into breakfast, sitting at the same table as yesterday. Kenji looks under it.</p><p>“You know, you’re a better person than me. Keeping your long legs to yourself like that. I always kick others under the table with mine,” Kenji says, looking back up to find Kanji arguing with him that he’s a good person too. Kenji grins, feeling rotten within. He hasn’t even shared the photo of him and Kanji kissing. That and the other things were safely tucked into a private folder on his phone, named ‘sunflower’; Kanji reminds him of the large flowers somehow.</p><p>One that reaches for a sun, only to have its petals burned some time.</p><p>“My parents taught me when I was growing to uhm, not take up too much space and be kind to other people,” Kanji explains, a little pinkness coming down his cheekbones, reaching the top of his ears. Kenji sighs. He was too cute, too irresistible. What Kenji was starting to feel became irritating.</p><p>“You are kind. But you should not think of yourself as so large that you’re taking up lots of space just by existing,” Kenji says, finishing his miso soup and with it his breakfast. “Be a little more forward, okay?”</p><p>And, as if it was just another teaching lesson, Kenji leans his back into his chair. Tongue peeking out, he brings his bare foot right between Kanji’s thighs, and presses the sole up and into Kanji’s penis. Kanji’s face changes from surprise to pleasure and astonishment.</p><p>“Ke-Ken-san!” He gets out, as Kenji feels the dick under his foot harden. He hadn’t been sure if Kanji was into this kind of stuff.</p><p>“Foot fetish, huh? Or just a kink…well you surely enjoy it, dontcha~” Kenji laughs, then makes sure that Kanji actually feels good with the movements. “You know, if it makes you more comfortable…I’ll take charge next time. But I will do it as a bottom, so brace yourself.”</p><p>Kanji’s stammers are incomprehensible. His eyes roll up, his torso bending over his finished breakfast as he moans out half-words. He’s a mess already, and Kenji likes to see him like this. He keeps using his foot to get Kanji off under the table, his own hand having slipped towards his dick to take care of himself too. They could do a million things here—Kenji wouldn’t mind one bit to get fucked into the table, on the counter, into the fridge. He leans his head back moaning out too, reckless in the way he’s getting himself off.</p><p>“Ke..n-san,” Kanji breathes out in pieces, his hand a balled fist up on the table. Kenji glances at him from under lidded eyes, his smile hungry. “I li-like you…so much,” Kanji says, then shoves his breakfast away with one shove to let his forehead slam into the table as he moans out, coming from Kenji’s foot massage.</p><p>It’s good that he came already. Kenji freezes, unable to reply. He bites his bottom lip then, needing to finish himself too. Cursing all the way. This wasn’t a just mess anymore. Nor a grave. It was his absolute end. </p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Into the mess, and incapable of getting himself out. Kenji hears him say yes to a shrine visit the next day. Say yes to eat shaved ice together. Say yes to pictures of them just side by side, very much resembling a couple. Say yes to holding hands when no one’s looking because Kanji is shy, then make them hold hands even as groups of people pass by because Kenji isn’t a baby and he’s proud of who he is. </p><p>Say yes to lunch in the city, as their chopsticks steal food from one another’s plates, and Kanji’s laughter when he apologizes for taking Kenji’s gyoza. Getting it fed back to him. Say yes to meeting up after practice tomorrow. Say yes to soft kisses, hidden in alleyways. And more handholding when they walk back.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>But Kenji says nothing when Kanji holds his jawline. Says nothing as they stand hidden in a corner at the bottom of the stairs he nearly fell off from when he arrived here. At the station Kenji had been picked up at, and was now being dropped off too. 

”I can take the subway myself, you know!” Kenji hears himself say, holding back on saying not more of what he truly wants. </p><p><i>Say nothing,</i> Kenji thinks, as Kanji’s sweet smiling face comes closer to kiss him. <i>Say nothing</i> as Kenji leans up into it, hands holding tighter to Kanji’s wrists as they hum. Say, “Alright then, see ya tomorrow,” and leave up the stairs, walk into the subway, and murmur curses into his palm all the way to his own stop.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>It’s been two weeks of saying ‘yes’ to outings outside school. Say ‘fuck off, not yet’ to Kubo and his gang while Kenji avoids them as much as possible. And more excitable ‘yes!’s from Kanji whenever Kenji took his hand, winked, and asked ‘wanna go somewhere private?’ Especially during lunchtime when Kenji has to do most of his avoiding other guys.</p><p>After practice, Kenji doesn’t take Kanji super far. They manage to find a shadowy spot in the gym’s storage room. Hidden behind large mats that shield any one coming in from seeing them, Kenji has once more sat his horny ass down into Kanji’s ready lap. Their embrace and kisses have been going on for minutes, speaking left aside as their mouths were busy. Kanji’s lips always trail Kenji’s throat softly, who both want more from it; but Kenji reminds himself and his…special someone that those bites and other marks could get him into trouble.</p><p>He’s muted the group chat with the idiots, after successfully avoiding them the past two days in person. With his legs stretching out behind Kanji, he grinds his heels down, pressing his ass deeper. Hands on his hips move him back a little, and Kenji retaliates by biting Kanji’s bottom lip. Always a nibble that’s never too hard or painful.</p><p>“C’mon, be good to me,” Kenji says, making sure not to beg, nor to command. Kanji doesn’t reply, ducking his head away and into Kenji’s shoulder. What the hell they were, Kenji hadn’t given it a name. But to go by the pictures, the hand-holding, the dating…They were dating. Or at least, Kanji might think so. Kenji wasn’t sure, so he didn’t speak off it. He cannot talk that well at all, when Kanji pulls Kenji’s grey Datekougyou shirt to the side being ‘good’ to him. Silences Kenji with ease. They press closer together, Kenji feeling want build up heavily. Kanji has his legs crossed below him, consistent in his not taking up space. Kenji feels his shoe press up into his ass, not quite what he needed however.</p><p>He tries again to seduce Kanji, kissing him and playing with his hair. Kenji’s fingers are addicted to the feel of them. Happier even, when Kanji’s now taped fingers run up his neck and into the brown hair in return.</p><p>“They’ll hear us, senpai,” Kanji whispers, as if someone was already here. Kenji scoffs.</p><p>“I can make sure they won’t. We can just give head to each other, y’know?” Kenji tries to argue, but Kanji doesn’t budge. They continue to kiss, with Kanji’s tongue pressing back against Kenji’s, as if it was the offer he’s pushing away from himself. They had been mostly timid after the fun on Kanji’s bed. Mutual masturbation they’ve tried out, but Kenji has been a kind upperclassman and didn’t try anything with Kanji’s ass. </p><p>A little frustrated, but holding himself accountable to the promise that he wouldn’t push nor pressure, Kenji sighs into the kiss. His dick strains against the training shorts now.</p><p>“Please,” he whines, “At least take care of me a little. Don’t be so beastly, Kanji,” Kenji says, pouting his words down Kanji’s cheek. He didn’t think it would work, but then fingers run down his lower back and past the hem of his shirt, diving into his shorts from behind. Eager, Kenji grins, then moans softly into Kanji’s ear as fingers spread his ass-cheeks.</p><p>Then Kanji stops, excitedly looking up. “We don’t have lube,” he whispers again softly, and Kenji’s superior grin widens. He leans to his bag, which he left here just for that purpose when no one was looking, and gets out strawberry flavoured lube. He wiggles it at Kanji, whose face fall. Kenji stops smiling.</p><p>“Well okay if you don’t want to…” Kenji says, but Kanji scrambles to get the lube out of Kenji’s hands and pours it onto his fingers. They kiss again, this time with Kanji’s fingers entering Kenji, making him moan.</p><p>He really wants to suck Kanji off. He’s been thinking about it half the day. The other half he spent thinking of Kanji’s laughter at the shrine visit, and when their tongues had been coloured by the shaved ice cream flavours. Then of course, Kenji’s mind went to how they tried mixing those colours…</p><p>The tension didn’t get into his dick at no school time, but now… Kenji lowers his shorts the best he can to free his penis, then plays with himself as Kanji uses once more multiple fingers from both hands to spread Kenji and tease him. Below Kenji, Kanji is getting hard too. Grinning, Kenji’s breathy moans travel from lips to cheek to ear, making sure they stay unnoticed.</p><p>“Let me pleasure you too,” Kenji says, really sounding desperate for it. He’s beyond caring. “Lie down, and let me turn around.”</p><p>The heat of Kanji’s ears burns into Kenji’s cheeks. Sadly, Kanji doesn’t move as requested, but he makes Kenji come with just his fingers and Kenji’s hand jerking himself off. Kanji kisses his throat, right under his jawline, then silences Kenji when he orgasms. He’s put a condom on in time, to ensure that they don’t have any messes to clean up, or that Kanji will get embarrassed by tale-telling stains on his shirt.</p><p>Rising a brow, Kenji glances down at their laps, then up to Kanji. “Well, thank you for that. Now what about you?”</p><p>Kanji looks away, embarrassed. Now that Kenji was done, he might as well leave and make sure Kanji feels the sting of saying no to mutually pleasuring one another in Kenji’s favourite position. Feeling for the guy however, Kenji doesn’t. Making sure he’s not a complete ass for once. He gets up slowly, pulling his condom off and his shorts up. He points to the stacked mats, watching Kanji get up awkwardly and lean against it. Hunger returning, Kenji settles his ass under his feet, his knees spreading wide He pulls Kanji’s shorts (training and underwear) down at once.</p><p>For his greed and impatience, Kanji’s dick whips out and slaps Kenji’s nose.</p><p>“Gah!” Kenji yells, at the same time that Kanji apologizes like a highspeed train. Kenji rubs his nose and cheek, watching as Kanji’s hands slap over his mouth. </p><p>“What the hell was that?” Kenji hears another second year teammate say.</p><p>“I don’t know,” says a younger sounding voice Kenji can’t place.</p><p>Kanji stays silent behind his hands, sweat gathering on his forehead. Kenji stays cool, bringing his head to Kanji’s hip to at least shield his cock from sight. The voices continue on, away from them. Kenji sighs in relieve, leaning back a little. He puts a finger to his own lips, and Kanji gulps, then nods. Both hands are on his mouth now, making Kenji roll his eyes. He likes those hands in his hair…but it’s safer this way. The other two weren’t completely gone. Kenji can still hear them about as the post-practice cleaning continues. He’s stolen Kanji away under the ruse of a second year giving pointers to the newbie. Moniwa had been busy with Kamasaki, and Sasaya was continuing block-practicing with Aone.</p><p>Instead of ‘giving pointers’, Kenji’s mouth opens to guide Kanji inside. His hands caress up to Kanji’s knees, spreading them a bit wider, tickle the softer sides to make Kanji bend. Behind his hands, Kanji giggles and yelps, but it’s so muted that no one would hear it except Kenji. He swallows Kanji’s cock half way down, retreats, then continues on like this until he’s getting more used to the girth and take in more and more. All of Kanji is yet not possible, as Kenji has been out of practice. And he’s never had a cock this big to deal with.</p><p>Still, he enjoys the challenge.</p><p>But more than that…Kenji remembers that Kanji has no good experience with fingering himself when being alone. He did a good enough job with Kenji’s ass that one weekend, after Kenji’s instructions made those fingers unstiffen and move around a bit more. Kenji gets a hold of the lube, putting it near his knee. He brings the side of his head against Kanji’s hip, hand on the other to make him move on his own. Kanji does so after hesitating, bringing one hand down to hold Kenji’s head still as he fucks himself deeper over Kenji’s waiting tongue. Kenji removes the shorts all the way, leaving Kanji in just his shirt and his black volleyball shoes.</p><p>Trying not to tickle him this time, Kenji places his hand under Kanji’s thigh, making him lift the leg up over Kenji’s shoulder. Once its there, Kenji’s fingers run up higher and higher, meeting the fold of Kanji’s rear. Kanji is silent at once, but doesn’t stop moving. Caressing the other side where Kenji’s head rests at the front. The other hand remains clasped over his mouth, to mute himself. Kenji looks up with half-lidded eyes, holding still as Kanji moves carefully; never fully inside, never fully out. Kenji swirls his tongue under the lower side of Kanji’s impressive dick. It’s not enough for a question, and yet…Kanji nods, giving his consent. </p><p>Kenji doesn’t have to slow his mouth down, but Kanji stops bucking his hips forward. They hold still, Kanji’s throbbing cock In Kenji’s mouth, as the latter pours lubrication over two fingers. He brings his middle finger up, then switches to his index finger at the last second, making that one entering Kanji. All the care and love Kanji has shown him, Kenji returns by softly entering him. Kanji breathes out of his nose, faster and faster, the shift of air not going past his hand now clamping down. Kenji’s tongue swirls a side to side pattern, as he brings his finger in deeper until it’s all the way in. He slowly retreats, feeling Kanji’s inner walls clench down on him—they unclench when Kenji’s finger goes up again, and soon Kenji’s adds his second lubed finger to spread those walls a little.</p><p>Kanji folds over him, seemingly struggling. Bold, Kenji pulls at Kanji’s elbow, to make the hand drop. Kanji needs to breathe, after all. Kanji sighs out as both his hands are away now, one still caressing Kenji’s hair. The sigh isn’t loud, but Kanji’s embarrassed and shuts his lips tight.</p><p>“Shh,” Kenji says, his cheek now against Kanji’s cock, blowing the soothing tone onto the heated skin. “Relax for me…you’re doing so well, Kanji,” Kenji says softly, not wanting Kanji to bite down on his lip or feel pressured. Soon Kanji relaxes, his cock slightly moving up and down Kenji’s cheek. That’s sign enough, and Kenji takes the hardness back into his mouth, moving faster now, making his fingers move in sync too. Kanji’s breathing becomes erratic, but when his teeth do bite down his lower lips, an elongated ‘Hnnng!’ passes. His knee weakens and he sinks a little, down further onto Kenji’s fingers. Kenji doesn’t stop. He doesn’t speed it up too much, wanting to take his time. With his free hand he touches the one on his head, then pushes his thumb under that sweaty palm.</p><p>“Come into my mouth, and I’ll show you another nice thing,” Kenji says, quickly continuing after Kanji nods. When Kanji comes, his face turns away from the gym. His lips must be pressing together, giving the mute sounds coming from him. Kenji fingers Kanji until his entire load vanishes down Kenji’s throat. He lets the cock go with an obscene sound of his mouth, then grins, kissing the trembling hips. Kissing lower, past Kanji’s balls. Ignoring them this time in favour of lifting Kanji’s knee off the shoulder, up higher. Kenji dips so low that he can kiss Kanji in his most intimate area. Tongue having a taste, Kenji soon closes his eyes to get a little deeper with it.</p><p>“Aaah, haah!” Kanji yelps out, and Kenji hears the hands slap on his mouth and on top of each other again. Kenji’s knees widen as he positions himself to continue rimming Kanji, until those legs give out, until Kanji slides all the way down. But Kenji doesn’t stop once he brought the giant setter down. Both his hands lift Kanji’s knees, bend them to his chest—now exposed as Kanji’s shirt rides up over his pecs. Kenji spreads the legs, as his mouth continues to wreak havoc. Kanji is so loud, even behind the muting hands. But no one is close now, no one can hear the obscene sounds they both make.</p><p>When he’s done, Kenji brings the legs down over his own thighs. His warm hands caress Kanji’s hips, his thighs, the sides of his torso. Kanji looks up at the dark ceiling, but his eyes are vacant from the second orgasm. His cock is limp, come now staining over his stomach. Bringing his hips closer to the back of those sweet thighs, Kenji let’s his crotch gently press against Kanji’s rimmed asshole. His kouhai doesn’t look at him for a while, but he doesn’t move away. He doesn’t tremble at the possibilities. He swallows, then meets Kenji’s eyes. </p><p>Their hands meet up in the air, fingers curling over each other’s hands. Kenji leans down, kissing Kanji’s forehead.</p><p>“You’re delicious. And if you do to me what I did to you…I will ride you until you can’t moan anything else but my name.”</p><p>But not today. And as much as Kenji would love to have sex with Kanji, to show him how pleasurable it is, and show him how much of a verse Kenji is, and that he really doesn’t mind being a top…they kiss instead, softly. It wasn’t yet the time, and most definitely not the place.</p><p>“Where the <i>hell</i> are those two!” Kamasaki yells, and Kenji ducks down more to hide his laughter. If only they knew. Good thing they don’t.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Petals crushed into a fist; released into the wind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ooooooooooooooooooohhhh whats gonna happen!!</p><p>Final installment of 'Futakuchi Kenji royally fucks up'.</p><p>also very sex-heavy??? i went a little wild with them TvT didnt get to add all the things i wanted during their fun times. guess i need to write a sequel ehehehehehe</p><p>Please enjoy!! this ship is sosososoo good.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We should be practicing right now,” Kenji says with a pout. The pout forms mostly because he has one side of his face presses against Kanji’s broad back. They were sitting on the bench, but Kenji hadn’t felt like doing anything in particular. Kanji was doing something with his hands. It wasn’t boring to watch Kanji do anything with his hands, but Kenji much more needed something else from him.</p><p>And so he’d sat down 15 minutes earlier behind the taller guy, and hugged him from behind. Kenji’s legs were spread next to Kanji’s, with Kenji’s looped arms around Kanji’s middle; low enough to not interfere with his little project. Kenji had no idea what it was, figuring if Kanji wants to enlighten him, he could. Or they’d sit here in silence. Looking over Kanji’s shoulder was a possibility, but Kanji’s back was second-to-none in giving comfort. Peering up would cost too much effort.</p><p>“Mhnn,” Kanji replies, and Kenji could pout more because when Kanji gets into the zone, he doesn’t leave it and barely recognizes any outside influence. Suffering a sigh, Kenji lets it go. He closes his eyes, as this is just good too. It’s like his energy was depleted, and sitting like this is recharging his battery. It feels nice, it’s cosy, and he lacks for nothing.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>It’s been going on for so long. Too long. At times, Kenji forgets that he’s not in an actual relationship with Kanji. The chat he has with Kanji would beg to differ; Kenji doesn’t hate himself for the things he types. After all, in the moment, he means them. He hates himself more for falling so much for this guy. He sighs, guessing that inwardly damming Kanji all the time gets him nowhere. What really bothers him is that sometimes, he cannot see the blurred edge of this mess. Where it started was clear, but where would it end? Was he faking a relationship with Kanji…and for what?</p><p>He hates not being sure of it. With all the hugs and kisses and other stuff they did in private, there was a routine. Meet up early with Kanji, spend his lunch time with Kanji for the most part, and then meet up after school. Sometimes Kanji’s mornings and lunch times were taken up by other friends or the knit club (which Kanji corrected him a few times, was a crafts club). And sometimes Kenji also had duties before or after practice.</p><p>But they made a habit of waiting for each other. Kanji would sit on a bench near the gym and wait for Kenji. Kenji would sometimes hang around the quad, waiting for Kanji to walk home together. </p><p>And whenever they didn’t see each other, they were texting. Calling not so much, because Kenji once fell asleep listening to Kanji’s soothing voice. And Kenji snores, so that was super unsexy. <i>And never going to happen again!</i> To his even greater regret, the texts weren’t just spicy. Kanji tells him every day things. He asks him stuff, when he’s stuck with homework or doesn’t understand something. And Kanji always reads through Kenji’s rant texts taking up the entire phone screen. He reads, listens, and reacts appropriately, letting Kenji feel heard and sympathized with.</p><p>It was problematic to dodge questions, too. Aone never asks because he is Aone. Nametsu gives him sly looks sometimes, but surely she couldn’t know! Kamasaki hasn’t been as loud as usual, and surely he’s seen the two run off together quite some evenings now. Moniwa appears on the edge of saying something every couple of days; but he’d shake his fluffy head and turn around. No, it was that infernal chat group asking if Kenji was a chicken. If he couldn’t do it after all. When Kenji has an entire folder of stuff that went above and beyond a simple kiss on the lips. He’d love to throw it in their faces; and yet, he feels wildly protective of what he and Kanji have going on. This nameless thing that threatens to eat him alive.</p><p>Kenji scoffs at it, when he’s alone. But there’s sighs too. </p><p>They haven’t had sex, not yet. But they were doing everything else, all the time. Kenji documents most of it, even though Kanji sometimes renders his knees and hands useless. Kenji watches the footage when he’s horny and wants to jerk off. The photos and videos were a porn gold mine, and they never failed him. And while he watches Kanji suck him off on camera, Kenji could close his eyes, listen to the sounds from his phone speakers.</p><p>Kenji would sometimes send screenshots when he was done jerking off, wait for Kanji to see the images and Kenji’s kaomoji or stickers. Then delete the message. Leaving only Kanji’s stickers in embarrassment in return. But in the aftermath, Kenji craves the real thing. Lying in Kanji’s arms, going for another round of fun. So he’d meet up early with Kanji, make sure he gets the hints. In the beginning, Kanji would blink at him, not getting it.</p><p>But often times, he was hungry too. The one redeeming part Kenji gives himself is that he would ‘thank’ Kanji for the pleasures his past self gave. Kanji knew the folder exists, and kept giving Kenji consent to use his phone and to keep it. But he didn’t want any of it on his own phone, too terrified of being found out. Lose his phone, or mess up the folder password. </p><p>And for that cuteness, for that dedication, Kenji would sink to his knees and pleasure Kanji. Even when he’d just done so. Even when Kanji said he was fine and didn’t need it. Kenji would kiss him everywhere, sometimes undressing Kanji for the most part. He likes to sit in his lap, to make their skins meet. Kanji might have been the one to voice he wasn’t ready yet, but the same went for Kenji. He couldn’t have sex with Kanji. That would be taking it too far. <i>As if all the other things weren’t bad already,</i> Kenji tells himself, then shakes his head. No harm done as long as they both were okay with it. And Kanji has not voiced yet to title their relationship. To give it a label, or have strict rules or expectations attached to it.</p><p>But for the 10th time, Kenji wonders if he hasn’t allowed this to continue on for too long anyway. Despite enjoying every moment, it bites his neck that he doesn’t deserve it. That it’s wrong. That he shouldn’t take advantage of Kanji like that. Never mind that Kenji gives back double all the time, partially out of guilt.</p><p>Partially because he really, really wants to see Kanji happy and satisfied. To be the person that meets all of Kanji’s needs.</p><p>His mind and heart discussing this, Kenji listens to his body instead. Opens up his LINE app, sending a cute little penguin sticker to Kanji as a good morning greeting. They still had plenty of time before they needed to head to school, and Kenji wanted to try something new and daring. Lying in his bed, he lifts his pyjama bottoms and boxershorts up a little. He takes a cheeky pick of his semi-hardness. Tongue sticking out as he types the message, Kenji notices that his sticker and the image are immediately read. Meaning perhaps that Kanji had been wanting to talk to him too.</p><p>
  <b>Kenji: good morning sunshine. help me out a little?</b>
</p><p>It takes some time for Kanji to answer, leaving Kenji on read. It’s fine, Kenji guesses. He can always open his little folder full of past good times had. But he waits, hopes. Wants.</p><p>
  <b>Kogganji: how?</b>
</p><p>Grinning, Kenji’s hand travels down, as he sends the message he prepared with high hopes. </p><p>
  <b>Kenji: lie down and get comfy. I’ll videocall you ( ˘ ³˘)♥</b>
</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>On days that everything goes shit and nothing goes right, Kenji grumbles more than usual. He keeps those grumbles low, not wanting to bother anyone else with his bad mood. He keeps to himself, not wanting to do anything but practice jump serves endlessly. Just to slap his hands against a ball with all the force he has.</p><p>But the stupid basketball team has some sort of tournament coming up, and got the sole rights to extra gym time. Again. Sure, the volleyball club would get them back in a couple of weeks, when they had their InterHigh coming up. But Kenji cannot think of that right now.</p><p>With no place to go, Kenji currently hides out in the toilets. He’s been sitting on the closed toilet seat for nearly 15 minutes, looking at his phone and browsing random things. He could have tried to bolt from the classroom and out onto the quad before anyone sees him, but Kanji took the chance of no volleyball practice to be a fulltime member of the crafts club and knit with them for an hour. Kenji had promised to wait.</p><p>And he was tired of running. Another full week he’s been avoiding his ‘friends’. They were harassing him in the group chat the entire time (notably not a single one of them messaged him directly). Kubo was requesting his one-<i>man</i> back. Kenji figures he could just give it back, say he had no luck with Kanji. Take the snide remarks and stupidity. He sighs, vowing to himself to text Kubo in private and give the bill back tomorrow before classes started.</p><p>Inwardly, Kenji knows he’s already surrendered defeat. The bet was dumb and he didn’t need the money that bad. Facts were; Kenji hadn’t lost, he was just not showing the proof of his conquest. The bet had been dumb, and he’d feel filthy for accepting the money. He needed the cash, but that wasn’t reason enough to show these scumbags his picture with Kanji. Although he now had plenty of kissing pictures that weren’t hot and heavy, he handles them even more delicately in his private folder. He finally gave it appropriate sub-folders, too.</p><p>Sighing heavily, Kenji wonders why let himself into get this predicament. His why was obvious, but he was about to leave that in the past. The how…Kenji doesn’t want to think of it. He thinks of Kanji all the time. He likes hanging out with him so much that he’s hiding out in a toilet cabin to do so. Kanji said Kenji could have come to the crafts club room, but Kenji had laughed it off and said no. Kanji had posted a picture with all the girls and their crafts, the table filled with homemade sweets and tea cups.</p><p>Kenji keeps looking at it. He could do with some too. More so, he could do with some Kanji. It wasn’t even about physical needs either. Kenji had completely fallen for Kanji’s hands, his arms, that wide back in which Kenji loves to cuddle into and feel Kanji tremble with laughs when he does. The quiet comfort this loud brat was capable of giving. When Kanji was silent, Kenji feels all the more in awe. </p><p>It was maddening him so much that this week, he had told Kanji he was busy in the mornings, that he was eating lunch elsewhere. Kanji always said it was fine, and he clearly doesn’t lack for company. Kenji had pushed Kanji away, and now he was suffering all the more. They still wrote each other though. Kanji would always text him good morning, good night. Either with the stickers (he had so many!) or by writing it. Kenji dreaded if Kanji would ever say something else, too. </p><p>“I like you,” Kenji whispers to himself, pressing his lips together. Nonsense. But the triad of head-heart-body beg to differ.</p><p>When half an hour passed and his left ass cheek has gone past feeling tingly and now downright feels sore, Kenji gets up. He couldn’t deal with being here half an hour more! Texting Kanji on the way out, Kenji leaves the restroom, walks down a corridor. <i>’Miss you’. ‘Want to see you’.</i> Kenji shakes his head. He cannot type that! He only did that when he was jerking off by himself and wanted Kanji to know…</p><p>He’s heading the right direction, according to Kanji’s clear instructions where the crafts room was. Kenji could hang out with Kanji’s friends for a while. Kenji was fairly sure those girls knew. That didn’t embarrass him at all; it only meant that he could sit close with Kanji without being judged. Kenji would like that, but as he rounds a corner, he thinks about them having kept this so quiet that no one ever suspected. Had Kanji told anyone else? They never agreed to keeping it under the covers…but Kenji had certainly acted that way. Part of him thinks he should tell Kanji everything.</p><p>But maybe Kanji wouldn’t want to see him anymore then. Right now, he doesn’t suspect foul play at all. Kenji could just fly under the radar, while taking this thing with Kanji into a more serious direction. <i>Yeah, that would be nice,</i> Kenji thinks to himself while smiling, rounding the corner to the stairway.</p><p>“Woah, that was a big shit you were taking Futakuchi. Sure your ass is fine?”</p><p>Kenji’s feet come to a wide-stanced stand still, and he clicks his tongue. He peers over the group of friends, uncaring that he’s alone; he’s taller than all of them, especially because they’re all chilling on the steps of the stairway down. Kenji brings his glare to rest on Kubo, as he’s the one who asked the question <i>and</i> remains right in Kenji’s walking path.</p><p>“You’re in my way,” Kenji says, wanting to bulldoze through but thinking the better of it. </p><p>“Hold a moment, were are you heading anyway!? Let’s go to the arcade,” someone else says, and they all snigger. “Or do you still have better things to ‘do’? You’re busy man, Futakuchi” More mean laughing, and Kenji doesn’t have to add things up to understand what’s going on. He wouldn’t let it show on his face, the realization dawning on him. He’d just act stupid. As stupid as he’s been to even befriend these fools or hang out with them during lunch. It’s so clear too that not everyone wants to be here; but they’re laughing along, or lest be the laughingstock themselves.</p><p>It’s fine. Kenji can take it. He visualizes Kanji’s sweet smile. The cakes. </p><p>“It’s none of your business?” Kenji says nonchalantly and without much fire. He realizes he should have just told them already in chat. </p><p>Kubo is now trying to look past him, maybe listens for footsteps. But Kenji hadn’t seduced Kanji into half an hour make out session today. Kanji was safely tucked away with hot tea and sweets, within the comfort of nice friends and the crafts club room. Kenji could have had that too, instead of a tingling left ass cheek and these annoying idiots here.</p><p>“Ah, Futakuchi-senpai, there you are! Oh, you weren’t lost,” Kanji says softer, coming to a stand-still on the stairs. From his point, he can easily see Kenji on top of the stairs. Kenji sighs.</p><p>“I was on my way Kanji, I’m not that helpless,” he says, realizing too late—</p><p>“<i>”Kanji</i>? You guys sure are chummy huh!?” Kubo says again, this time with less laughing-track background noises following. He turns on Kanji, whose face betrays nothing but confused curiosity as to what is going on. “But hey if he’s here, then what were you doing on the toilet for so long Futakuchi? How many guys are you trying to get kissing photos with? Man, you probably got a taste after that big dumb idiot, or what’s going on?”</p><p>Kenji wants to kick Kubo down the stairs. But there’s too many witnesses, and Kanji is right there. Kanji, who might realize that he was meant with Kubo’s comment. All those dumb comments! Rolling his eyes, Kenji goes down the stairs wordlessly, not even trying to elbow check Kubo. When he’s past, he thinks he can just walk away and they’ll leave him alone, but Kubo grabs his arm.</p><p>“Hey, I wasn’t done talking!” Kubo says, and Kenji figures that if he shrugs him off, Kubo might actually fall down. So he clicks his tongue again, unable to loosen his arm from the grip.</p><p>“I said it’s none of your fucking business!”</p><p>“It used to be everyone’s business here when you were offered 10.000 yen though!”</p><p>Perhaps, hurting Kubo in an accident wouldn’t be so bad. Kenji knows he could defend himself. But putting himself into that position, getting suspended, and jeopardize going to the InterHigh…he couldn’t risk that. </p><p>Kanji’s hand shoots past him, grabbing Kubo’s. Kenji can only watch as the arm twists off and away from him. Kanji stands right beside him, angrier than Kenji has ever seen him, or imagined him to be. His face distorts into something that didn’t get close to when Kanji tries to lift his weight on the barbell—it goes straight past that, without changing colour. There’s no pink in the ears or flushing the neck when he’s angry, Kenji sees.</p><p>“Wh-what the hell, ouch!” Kubo squeals and the group disperses as he threatens to fall down the steps and take one of them with him. But Kanji lifts his arm higher, making sure with it that Kubo won’t stumble off the stairs. And Kubo’s legs kicking out to Kanji don’t reach, either. “Let me go you big idiot!”</p><p>He doesn’t even say anything; Kanji lets Kubo’s wrist go, as if he burned himself. Somehow making sure that Kubo doesn’t go crashing down the stairs. Kanji then turns around and steps off the stairs, two at the time. Wordlessly. The shift of anger fades down and down. Kenji, awed, finds his voice back and smiles at Kubo.</p><p>“Sorry about that. He can get…so possessive and aggressive when another guy comes near me. Anyway, if you call him a name again, I won’t be as patient with you. Oh, and I’ll return what you gave to me tomorrow, okay? Bye now!” Kenji laughs, quickly stepping down the steps to keep up with Kanji. Part of him thinks that Kanji wouldn’t look at him now, but they descend shoulder to shoulder, leaving Kubo’s sputtering behind. Kenji hears him wanting to go after Kanji, but no one in his ‘friend’ group is willing to go against the giant.</p><p>Kenji follows Kanji to what he thinks is the crafts club room. He can definitely hear giggling at the end of one corridor they’re in. Figuring that he owes Kanji an explanation, he grabs his elbow.</p><p>“About earlier, I’m…sorry. That was such a scene. And you must think the worst of me now,” Kenji says, trying to grin himself through the pain expanding in his chest. He was debating so long on what to do that the choice was taken from him. He has to own up to his mistakes now. Plan A deceased; no more flying under the radar. Partially Kenji is hopeful for Plan B; explain, kiss, make up. Be happy together. But he also realizes the possibility of this; Kanji not wanting anything to do with him now, after hearing all that. </p><p>“I…I can explain? I’m still a shit-head, and I can imagine you won’t believe me.”</p><p>Kanji hadn’t turned around. His shoulder was twisting back a bit, his elbow in Kenji’s grasp. Kenji lets go, guessing that Kanji would keep on walking forward without a backwards glance. Without a care. But was this boy, whose been so fierce earlier, be able to just leave and not give a shit?</p><p>Turning around, Kanji doesn’t look at him. Kenji doesn’t mind; he hasn’t been able to properly look into the mirror either. With Kanji’s eyes on his feet, Kenji steps a little bit closer. He wishes he could hold Kanji’s hands right now, as he explains and apologizes.</p><p>“The girls warned me, for something like it. I didn’t believe it,” Kanji starts first, before Kenji can summon the courage to speak. The words cut through his chest, realizing what Kanji is referring to. “It sounded so outrageous. ‘Be careful, some handsome boys only do it as a joke. For a bet.’ I didn’t want to believe it,” Kanji says, his laugh hollow as he scratches the back of his neck. “I don’t know! I might have become conceited…To think you really liked me.”</p><p>“Kanji,” Kenji whispers, his heart hollow too, breaking like glass slowly. But Kanji shakes his head, looking up to him now.</p><p>“I wasn’t finished. I thought you really liked me, Ken-san. And…part of me still does. So, I will listen to you. I trust you more,” Kanji says, stepping closer and taking Kenji’s hands. While Kanji’s are warm, Kenji’s are ice cold. Nerves wreck him, but he takes a staggering breath. <i>If I am not honest with myself, I can’t be honest with him…So, lets admit to some things first.</i></p><p>Miss him. Want to see him. Like him.</p><p>“Okay… Okay. I owe it to you,” Kenji says. He looks up into Kanji’s eyes; those trusting, sweet eyes. They look more confident now than the first time they kissed. Kenji takes a breath, then explains from the start. He puts in how he tried to defend Kanji from those guys, how they were never really Kenji’s friends. And he doesn’t leave out how stupid and selfish he’s been. How losing that day, and the stupid taunts got to him. The more he speaks, the more Kenji looks down, to see the hands holding his. He watches as thumbs circle over the back of his hands, soothing, encouraging. Kenji finishes slowly, as he gets to his own feelings.</p><p>“It started as a joke. As a bet. But that’s not what it is to me anymore! I kept all those pictures and videos to myself, I swear to it. That’s why they were waiting for me probably, because I didn’t show and tell what happened at all. I much more like hanging out with you, Kanji. And I know I fucked up, but I would like to keep…I would be happy if you’d give me another chance. I know best that I don’t deserve one…but I do <i>really</i> like you. Please…forgive me.”</p><p>Kenji looks up at he says it, hoping the truth of it shines through his eyes. He’d break if Kanji would hate him now. Watching him walk away in anger…Kenji never wanted to see him like that. Because of Kenji, and his stupid actions…</p><p>But Kanji’s face softens more. He smiles, and it’s the last thing Kenji sees before he’s being kissed. His face held into place, as Kanji’s warm mouth relaxes him entirely. Kanji has stepped closer, now leaning more and more into Kenji. Kenji had craved a hug, and now he’s taking what he needs, by circling his arms around Kanji’s strong back. A spine stronger than his. A soul within that’s so much kinder.</p><p><i>That wasn’t so hard, was it?</i> Kenji laughs into the kiss, and Kanji looks down at him. No more confusion or shyness there.</p><p>“I really like you too, Ken-san,” Kanji says, his breath so warm on his cheeks. “And there’s nothing to forgive. I was…selfish too for wanting it so much. And wanting to keep you to myself… I am very jealous sometimes, and I didn’t mean to hurt the upperclassman earlier..!”</p><p>“That shithead Kubo had it coming, and I’m glad the way you handled it! But I’ll be better from now on. For example,” Kenji says, pouting a little. “I should have given you the official title, and not just say ‘he gets so possessive of me’.”</p><p>“Official?” Kanji asks, his hands sliding down Kenji’s throat, gentle as always. The kindest hands that could possibly be holding Kenji right now. The way he tilts his head is just one of so many things Kenji loves about him. </p><p>“Boyfriend. That is, if you’d still have me as one starting from today.”</p><p>“Say yes, Kogane-kun!” </p><p>Kenji’s entire body becomes rigid, and he sees as much as he feels how Kanji jumps from surprise. When Kanji turns, Kenji peeks around him. There’s the tell of a photo being shot, but Kenji doesn’t see a phone or camera in sight.</p><p>At the end of the hallway, from the furthermost door, an entire group of girls are standing in a doorway. On the inside it says ‘Come back soon! Craft for life!’ One is wearing a half-made scarf, her knitting needles and thread in her hands as she’s now stopped knitting on it. Some of them are blushing, some of them trying to hide their giggles. All of them look happy and expectant.</p><p>“If he fucks up his second chance, we’ll get him for you,” one of the taller girls says, her long black hair silky smooth. That third year, Kenji notices. “So if a certain someone is planning on being an idiot again…he’d better not be.”</p><p>When he looks up to Kanji, he only sees the back of his neck, and the side of his face. The skin visible is burning brightly red.</p><p>
  <i>Cute beyond believe.</i>
</p><p>“C-c-c-c-c-could you please give us some privacy! Please!”</p><p>“Oookaaaay,” they say in defeat, leaning back into their clubroom. One girl, a first year most likely, reaches out to the door handle to close it. Before she does, she winks at them. </p><p>“Good luck, Futakuchi-senpai! I’ve always been rooting for you!”</p><p>The door closes, and Kenji’s hands still on Kanji’s body, are quick to pinch him.</p><p>“So while I’ve been keeping it cool and quiet, you just went and told them everything!” He says, not even that mad. He’d figured this was the case after all. Kanji slowly turns to him, eyes shifting around instead of looking down at Kenji’s pout. </p><p>“I uh, m-m-m-might have told them a little!?” He says, as if he’s not so sure. “Perhaps most of it?”</p><p>Kenji laughs, as nervousness leaves his body with the outburst. He steps closer into Kanji’s space, burying his face into his chest. That was fine. It was all fine. The girls knowing, the idiots on the stairs; everything would be fine.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>The crafts club turns out as lovely as it seemed on pictures. The inside was colourful. Kenji’s eyes peer over cosy looking scarves and gloves. He has his knees tight together in the cramped space, made cramped because a second large guy has sat down on the couch. Kenji feels the little thing dipped under his and Kanji’s weight, but no one would allow him as a guest to sit on the floor. So he holds and drinks his cup of tea, minds his own business, and accepts sweets whenever some are offered.</p><p>Miyaki, the third year with the long black hair, turns out to be the club’s president. And calls herself Kanji’s ‘gay mother’, whatever that means. Kenji finds it best not to thwart her. She might be smaller in statue, but those eyes could melt butter and cut a man’s dignity in half. Alike her, most of the girls watch him like hungry hawks. Kenji cannot fault them for it; he would do the same in their shoes. He feels so protective of Kanji now. </p><p>“Do you want to try the apple tea next, Futakuchi-kun?” one of the girls—Saeya, who had been rooting for him by her own account—asks him as she’s on duty to put the next pot of tea in the kettle.</p><p>“I would like to, yes,” Kenji replies, feeling himself behave more civil and polite in the girls’ circle. He hears Kanji utter a soft laugh, but doesn’t dare to look at him right now. Kenji doesn’t deserve this, not after him fucking up so badly. To come in here and also find out that Kanji was knitting him a scarf, so many months before winter already… </p><p>But it’s fine. Kanji said it was fine, and so it must be.</p><p>They were fine.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Kenji enters the school with all the other students; somehow he made it in time before the bell would even ring. He had overslept this morning and nearly left the house without Kubo’s money. Given that he was so late, he had texted Kanji and told him they couldn’t meet up. Kanji texted back that it was no problem and he’d see him at lunch.</p><p>But Kenji sees him much earlier than that. </p><p>He notices Kanji—standing in front of his foot locker—the way he always notices Kanji these weeks. He’s never been easy to miss, the not so small brat. Kenji’s about to say hello, perhaps still sneaking in his first kiss of the day. But next to Kanji is Aone. Kenji switches shoes, walks further into the entrance hallway. Tapping his shoes on right, he looks over his shoulder. He wanted to give Kubo’s money back first thing, but the way Aone and Kanji seem to be standing completely still irks him.</p><p>Wondering what’s the matter, Kenji turns completely. Kanji holds in one hand his outdoor shoes. His socked feet large on the floor. A weird twisting feeling spreads between Kenji’s ribs, as he sees how Kanji’s free hand appears to be very calm.</p><p>Too calm.</p><p>Looking up, Kenji can only assume something very wrong has happened to Kanji’s shoe locker. Further proof is Aone, who looks angry as hell; a nuance in his brows and the way his mouth corners are drawn way down. Kanji’s face is near indecipherable—Kenji has never seen this kind of expression on him. And he’s seen Kanji super pissed yesterday. He might not have known the kid for more than a couple of months, but it seems so very unlike him.</p><p>That calm. It was a storm brewing, unable to be released or destroy everything in its path.</p><p>Pulled forward by anxious curiosity, Kenji goes to where Kanji and Aone stand so very still. He walks behind them, to stand on Kanji’s free side. Then Kenji peers into Kanji’s shoe locker, on their eye level. Next to the indoor-shoes is a note; it leans like a slanted roof over other objects. Kenji’s not sure he sees it right; stepping forward, he first notices a single condom. Then his eyes land on the larger, phallic object hidden in the darker back.</p><p>“What the fuck is this?” He whispers, the twisting feeling thundering down his stomach, causing white noise in his ears. Kanji’s controlled calm seems touchable now. Kenji’s hand reaches toward it, when he hears a commanding voice; it’s very silent, but the single command makes him hesitate in his movements.</p><p>“Don’t,” Kanji says, his voice strained. Kenji gazes up, surprized to hear such a commanding and hurt voice for the first time. He hadn’t sounded like this when he found out about the bet. Aone looks to their kouhai, but Kanji stares forward where his indoor-shoes are, the note, the condom, and a dildo.</p><p>“You read the note?” Kenji asks, eyes switching to Aone, who nods. To Kanji, who remains as unmoving as before. Kenji reaches for it instead, reading it. The further he goes, the more his face distorts. He feels a tremble down his spine. He didn’t have to recognize the handwriting to know who is behind it, but his first guess now proves true. He should have kicked Kubo off the damn stairs.</p><p>Other people are trying to get their own shoes, but Aone steps in to block their paths and more importantly, their views. He hands out the indoor-shoes to the corresponding student, putting their outdoor shoes into their cubby. It would be a comical scene any other day. </p><p>“Stay here, I will be right back,” Kenji says, leaving.</p><p>Kenji stomps through the hallways, head swivelling whenever he thinks he sees the culprit. Of course Kubo waits in Kenji’s own class, playing cards again. Kenji enters his classroom, hearing someone tell him that the classroom teachers of every year will be 15 minutes late due to a meeting. Good.</p><p>The work is quick; unannounced, Kenji comes in from behind, takes the fucker up by the collar, and drags him out. Several desks and chairs are in his way, and he makes sure Kubo hits most of them. He can’t even fight back, as Kenji has height, strength, and fury on his side. And those so-called ‘friends’? Do nothing, like the other day. They are all just cowards; Kanji is worth of thousand of them. Ten thousand. An entire field—</p><p>When the dragging comes to the stairs, the struggle becomes harder; Kenji just makes sure no bones break; but a bruising he can’t stop. No one else gets hurt, and Kenji even hears someone say ‘finally Kubo gets his comeuppance’. </p><p>There’s questioning looks, but Kubo was a bully and had karma waiting patiently around the corner. Kenji would just act as karma’s middle man, for the moment. No one steps in front of them, no one raises their voice to call for a class president or a teacher. Kenji thinks he sees Nametsu’s ponytail, but they reach the entrance hall before he can identify his manager.</p><p>Another blond, larger in frame, more muscly, and 120% louder than Nametsu, gains Kenji’s attention when he drags Kubo towards where he left Aone and Kanji. Kamasaki meets them like a bull, storming forward. The moment is over in a heartbeat. Kamasaki is in front of Kubo, then at the side; Kubo loses his breath as Kamasaki’s fist rams into his stomach. Kenji looks to that side now, uncaring for the pain caused by his senpai’s hand. He only has an arm around a now more limp Kubo.</p><p>Karma has several men working for her today, and she made sure it would hurt.</p><p>“Pull a stunt like that again and I will send you to the hospital,” Kamasaki whispers, then steps out of the way to let Kenji continue. Kenji pulls Kubo forward towards the shoe cubbies, then makes him go down to his knees.</p><p>“Apologize!” He demands loudly, causing more and more people to look his way. Aone has somehow kept Kanji’s side completely void of people. Behind Kenji, Kamasaki stands with his arms crossed. Kubo looks up, as Aone steps back towards the entrance, arms loose at his side. There’s no way to run.</p><p>“It was just a joke,” Kubo says, looking back to Kenji, looking to a group of girls standing close by. The crafts club was looking menacingly down at him. “It’s not like I care that he’s gay—”</p><p>Kenji would love to go wild on this guy, but Kamasaki stops him from taking a step forward. Huffing a breath, Kenji oesn’t push his senpai off. Instead, he stares down Kubo’s dumb backside.</p><p>“If I have to repeat myself again, it will be with my foot on your head.”</p><p>“And our needles in your side,” Miyaki says, flicking her long black hair over one shoulder. She was a class president, Kenji heard yesterday. And she isn’t doing anything to help Kubo. Kenji grins, watching her nod to him. </p><p>With little else able to do, Kubo bows his head to the ground, folds his hand, and does <i>dogeza</i>. Kenji averts his eyes from him to Kanji, who still stands holding his shoes in one hand. The previous too calm hand has balled to a fist. Kenji is still unable to understand the face he sees, what emotions play behind it. When Kanji had held Kubo aloft yesterday on the stairs, it had a kind of sexy appeal to it. But this silent fury…<i>Nope, still sexy to me.</i></p><p> All this time together, and yet this side Kenji has never seen. Not even an inch of it, when his own fuck ups had come to light.</p><p>“I’m sorry that I left you a little present.”</p><p>Kamasaki bellows, “You’re going to take it back with you, asshole!”</p><p>“What, I can’t! There’s already a class rep here. If my own catches me again with anything illegal, I’ll be suspended,” Kubo whines sitting up and looking at Kamasaki. Kenji nearly loses his head. “If the first year takes it, it won’t be as bad. Plus, he can pull the gay card and say they’re being homophobic, what gives—”</p><p>It’s now Kenji’s turn to hold back Kamasaki. They struggle for a bit, never having to actually test their strengths against each other. The crafts club becomes livid, but they too are held back by Miyaki’s arm. As the commotion becomes bigger and more people come to watch, Kanji moves. This gets Kenji’s attention, who pushes his entire body against Kamasaki. </p><p>“Futakuchi, what—"</p><p>Both of them, including anybody else here, becomes very still as Kanji holds the condom in his hands. He rips it open with his teeth, then skilfully pulls the condom out with his lips. His shoes drop to the floor, and he puts the empty package into his pockets, holding the condom in his mouth. Next, he takes the dildo out of his cubby; it’s red rubber, not actually big. Kenji inhales deeply as he watches Kanji pull the condom down over the dildo. Kenji has seen this done around his own penis a couple of times. Hoarded photo and video evidence of it. But to see it happening with so many others around them, with Aone and Kamasaki here too, and Kubo’s jaw slackening…</p><p>Everyone takes a collective breathe, as Kanji inhales the dildo what seems more than just practiced ease. It’s an artform, Kenji has always said so. Especially because Kanji’s face is calm. He doesn’t blush, doesn’t gag, doesn’t show any inconvenience of what’s going down his throat. Very <i>visibly</i> down his throat. Kenji thinks he hears someone gasp. No one says a thing, as Kanji pulls the deep-throated dildo out, then throws it at Kubo, who recoils from the saliva and condom-coated toy.</p><p>As if he does this every day in front of a whole bunch of people, Kanji turns to retrieve his indoor shoes with his free hand. He puts his outdoor ones inside the now otherwise empty cubby. The entire room watches once more as Kanji puts on his indoor school shoes, then comes close enough to Kubo to squat down in front of him. Looking at his bully with the oddest little smile on his lips. Kenji is helpless; his grip on Kamasaki has slacked off. That’s his service top, right there; being more than alpha when he’s so confident.</p><p>Kanji takes the dildo up in his hand again, still wet from his saliva. In an ultimate cool and near erotic move (or so, Kenji thinks, his heart beating like crazy watching), Kanji tips Kubo’s chin up with the top of the dildo. He can’t recoil this time, not with Kenji waiting behind, and a now more relaxed Kamasaki laughing lowly.</p><p>“There’s many differences between you and me, senpai. I think the biggest one would be this; I know how to please my partner.” As Kanji says this, his eyes gaze to Kenji for the first time since Kenji brought the bully here. Kenji grins, then makes his hand gesture the thumbs down motion. <i>End him, babe.</i> Kanji’s mouth quicks, his funny shaped mouth not taking away at how dominating he is right now. He glances back down to Kubo, continuing.</p><p>“I am sure you have no idea how to properly make someone else come, if it’s not your own penis. Maybe you should practice a little, and not bother with me,” Kanji says, leaving the dildo in front of Kubo’s knees. Kenji can hear Kamasaki’s laugh; his senpai has his hand covering his mouth, whispering ‘Oh my goddd’ behind it. Several girls giggle around them, while the crafts club members all look insanely smug and pleased.</p><p>“Oh, and before I forget; Futakuchi-senpai did win the bet, you know Not that it will be any of your business,” Kanji says, pulling a folded 10.000 yen note from his back pocket. He leaves it on top of the dildo. Kenji’s mouth falls a bit open. He closes is quickly as Kanji gets up, sidesteps Kubo, and bows towards Kamasaki and Kenji.</p><p>Kamasaki cusses Kanji’s bravado out, and some of the other people clap in awe. A couple of girls actually follow him, surround him, and make him flustered with questions. The crafts club might try to dissuade the other girls, but Kenji can clearly hear whispers of ‘please teach us’.</p><p>Aone steps forward, pointing to the dildo, to Kubo still kneeling embarrassed on the ground. Then Aone’s finger of doom points to the exit. No one fucks with Aone, and Kubo quickly takes the dildo at the near end, where the least saliva is. There’s no hiding it right now, and Kubo runs out as fast he can. In his indoor-shoes, no less.</p><p>Seeing his work here as done, Aone steps up to Kenji. His hand falls onto Kenji’s shoulder. He gives a single nod; the Aone Takanobu stamp of approval and a job well done. Kenji snorts through his nose, watching Aone leave with Kamasaki. Of course Kamasaki’s physical approval is a harder slap onto Kenji’s other shoulder, with the strength to dislocate it.</p><p>“Ouh!” He yelps, rubbing the hurt spot. Kamasaki just laughs, pulling Aone along and away to watch Kanji in the limelight. </p><p>Kenji looks to that scene now, also seeing how Kanji becomes more and more flustered with all the other girls surrounding him Kenji figures.. Kanji handled his bully with ease; ultimate power moves simply stacking one after the other. But his pure nature seems to be unable to deal with his new wave of fans now. Kanji had been incredibly cool; Kenji hasn’t even seen him like this once. His answer had been some violence, and making Kubo apologize. What he could do now however, is rescue Kanji from being surrounded. <i>If the girls want blowjob instructions, they can go online! I did so too at first!</i></p><p>“Damn, our first years are really cool this year huh? And I thought Sakunami would be the ultimate boss,” Kamasaki says, rubbing his chin. “You sure are up for one hell of a task, ahahahaha!”</p><p>Having no clue what Kamasaki means by that, Kenji guesses he has to help Kanji. <i>Time for me to be a hero.</i> He barely notices Aone leaving with Kamasaki, wordlessly while their senpai laughs out loudly. Sighing out loud, Kenji pushes some of the girls gently away. Around them the students continue on as usual, some still whispering about Kanji. Kenji quickly takes his hand.</p><p>
  <i>Mine.</i>
</p><p>“Girls, please. He’s taken you know,” Kenji says with pride, his fingers tightly laced through Kanji’s. The girls pout up at him, making several comments. Kanji sniggers.</p><p>“Senpai, they were just asking for tips! You know, about—”</p><p>“I am aware, Kogane, I am trying to give them an easy way out! They can go and ask elsewhere! Such as, the internet,” Kenji pouts, as he pulls Kanji away. He takes the staircase up and up, until they bypasses all the whispers. </p><p>When he finds a people-less corner, he pushes Kanji against the wall, and kisses him on the mouth. Kenji lets go of Kanji’s hand to hold that perfect face, and push himself closer against him. Kanji’s arms go around him, enjoying the kiss going by the smile spreading on his face.</p><p>“That was very cool, you know. What the hell man…but don’t do that again in public! It’s indecent and…only meant for my eyes,” Kenji says, pushing his forehead against Kanji’s. Kanji nuzzles him, sweetly like a dog. Loyal to him and him alone. Or so, Kenji hopes it can be from now on.</p><p>“I am sorry, Futakuchi-senpai. I only wanted to make a strong enough statement,” Kanji explains, as if he needs to explain anything to Kenji. The latter clicks his tongue, and then continues to make out with Kanji. The school bell goes off, but the teachers wouldn’t be there yet for homeroom class. Enough time for Kenji to make sure his appreciation is felt throughout Kanji’s body. After a stunt like that, he could never go back to keeping what they have secret.</p><p>“So hey, funnily enough, I too have a one-<i>man</i> note in my pocket. We should go out this weekend and spend it.”</p><p>Kanji’s smile, so wide and sweet, is all Kenji needs. “Uhn!” He goes, his eyes alight with something else. “And…can we go to my place afterwards, Ken-san?”</p><p>Heat runs over Kenji like fire. He might be the one blushing now. Kanji’s ears are, at least. “Damn you, Kanji.”</p><p>But he sighs and says yes. Of course they cann.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Before they go to the café, Kanji introduces him to the grandparents. As Kenji guessed, they’re loaded. And very giving in pocket money. They hand Kanji enough to buy more knitting supplies such as yarn, as well as new outfits. Kenji, for some reason, gets enough money to buy those running shoes he wanted. There was no dissuading the older couple that he couldn’t take it, especially because Kanji pinched him and told him to just take it.</p><p>The shopping tour is nice, but Kenji is glad when they finally sit down in the café. Kanji has a million bags, and Kenji had been the gentleman to carry most of them. He didn’t have to, Kanji assured. But Kenji kind of had.</p><p>Refreshed, they’d gone to Kanji’s place as agreed. It’s on Kanji’s bed that Kenji figures they could have left it at handholding and kisses. At frequent oral sex, and occasional handsy stuff. He’s sure of himself that he wouldn’t have bothered Kanji, wouldn’t haven’t asked when he was ready for more. Even if they slept in the same bed during sleepovers, Kenji’s resolve was to show restraint. Be the senpai. Have the reigns tight and secure in his hand. Let Kanji voice when he wanted to go further.</p><p>“I think I am ready, Futakuchi-senpai,” Kanji says, with all the seriousness he can muster making his face solid. </p><p>“First of all, what have I said about that mouthful!?” Kenji starts, but he looks away. He wasn’t prepared for this in the slightest. He hadn’t braced himself. He has to look away now, to the door. As if running was an option! As if Kanji, who sits beside him, would let him go. Kanji had sat down officially on his calves, his balled fist on top of his thick thighs. At first Kenji had found it funny, thought ‘here it comes’. Now he wasn’t laughing anymore. Especially because Kanji repeats what he said, using ‘Ken-san’ instead.</p><p>Kanji’s mother had given her son fresh chosen bedsheets with a sunflower motif. Somehow, very fitting. He had been sitting relaxed the sunflower spread, but now leaned forward unable to keep that position. A few seconds before Kanji opened his mouth, Kenji had thought about a blowjob; but that thought quickly left him as Kanji’s serious mode entered the room.</p><p>He thought he could still keep it together, even with this. But Kanji breaks him. Those honest, earnest eyes. That sparkle in them, the hope and the nervousness intermingle. Kenji melts. He couldn’t deny this guy a thing. Inhaling one moment, Kenji rushes his upper body forward tackling a surprised Kanji down his own bed. Seducing master Kenji in action, he straddles Kanji’s lap. He captures Kanji’s wrists, pins him down. Stares him into oblivion. Or so, Kenji would hope; but Kanji’s surprised face just blinks up. Not quite confusion…and Kenji recognizes the eagerness for more of whatever Kenji would do.</p><p>Once more, Kanji’s parents had left, and taken his grandparents too after Kanji had shown off his new boyfriend. Kanji’s parents had been nice too, and Kenji had seen that it was Kanji’s mother where he inherited that smile from, but it was Kanji’s father who had all that height. He called Kenji tall enough to date his son. It had been a little awkward for Kanji, but Kenji had laughed it off.</p><p>There was no laughing now. Did Kanji really have to be so formal about this stuff!? And so unbearable cute on top… Kenji keeps staring down, seeing that all too familiar head tilt shift below him. Following the invitation of a kiss, Kenji’s face floats down. They kiss like this, bodies otherwise completely still. Patient. Waiting. Wanting. Kenji laces his fingers through Kanji’s on the bed.</p><p>“Fine. You go turn off the lights. I’ll switch on the small one you got over here,” Kenji says as soft as he can, not taking his eyes off Kanji. Taped fingers curl over the back of Kenji’s hands..</p><p>“I prefer if we keep the light on, Ken-san,” Kanji says with a straight face, and Kenji fights the urge to hide his mouth behind his hand and yell into it.</p><p>“It’s less romantic,” Kenji tries, rolls his eyes. “Okay whatever.”</p><p>He wants to lie down completely. Take a nap. But there was no way of that now. Instead, Kenji pushes himself off again, positions himself near the end of the bed. There were a hundred ways to go about this. He needed to think. Widening his knees, he sits on his feet, contemplating. In front of him, Kanji the bastard mimics his sitting pose now, figuring he got scolded for the more formal one earlier. Kenji sighs. What a cute little idiot. Kenji was an idiot too, he knows that much. But he can hide it well, and stay smug. Kenji doesn’t feel like keeping any façade on though.</p><p>“Come here already,” he smiles. Kanji eagerly shuffles forward, connecting their knees together. Kenji looks down, smiling still. His hands settle on top of Kanji’s thighs, strong and muscular. He’d give the world to be between them. To have Kanji all over his body. Not getting any further in choosing what to do, Kenji goes the easier route, like he did before; he leans forward to softly kiss Kanji. There I no rush to pull him downward this time. No rush to get his clothes off. No rush at all.</p><p>That was, if Kanji would get the memo. Kenji barely gets his tongue past Kanji’s lips, or Kanji’s hands push him to lie down on the bed this time. Revenge perhaps, if Kanji was a vengeful type in bed. <i>Oh, wait. He absolutely is,</i> Kenji remembers, all those times Kanji redoubles his own efforts with oral sex, making Kenji lose it completely after it had been Kenji giving his all to make Kanji come. </p><p>Not that Kenji can complain; his legs do the opposite, readily spreading around Kanji’s torso to pull him in. Kanji’s arms lift him up, make them travel down to the bed’s middle, away from where Kenji had fled to. As soon as that is established, Kanji kisses him deeper, hands causing wreckage and ruin to Kenji’s sides, his back. Touching and scratching, pulling and wanting. Kenji replies with his own hunger tearing at him, to bite Kanji’s lips, kiss his jawline. He feels warm already, arms around Kanji’s upper back. Those shoulder blades…they were addictive to touch for Kenji’s hungry hands.</p><p>When Kanji’s hips roll over him, Kenji thinks he might die. Kanji’s cock is so big already, his erection sliding over Kenji’s already exposed stomach. Kenji tries to speak, but their tongues swirl around together, to busy for speech. Kenji’s little breathy moans rupture through the otherwise silent room. He circles his hips best he can under the heavy weight of Kanji’s want. All it does is encourage Kanji to double his own efforts.</p><p>“Undress me,” Kenji gets out finally, glad that Kanji’s eagerness shows in his hands. In moments, with a little bending, Kenji’s shirt and sleep shorts are off. He’s in his black boxers now, his tongue sticking out as he looks over Kanji. “You too.”</p><p>Kanji gulps a little, staring back at Kenji. After a moment’s pause, he flings his shirt off too. He wears nothing under his shorts, and Kenji gets hard just thinking about Kanji having been commando this entire while. Ready at any time since they left the bathroom earlier. Keeping his legs wide, Kenji happily welcomes Kanji’s naked form back in, letting the hard cock slide over his still clothed one. Kenji’s hips roll up with want, needing more friction. He also tries to angle his ass so that Kanji’s dick would touch him there too. But Kanji’s is too busy kissing Kenji’s chest, his shoulders. Kenji removes his own underwear, only to watch as Kanji leans up—he captures Kenji’s ankle, kisses the inside. Bites his way down. Sensuality and want make Kenji breathless. He can’t even cuss at Kanji, too overwhelmed by what he sees unfolding.</p><p>They make eye contact. Kenji smiles, thinking this is it. Kanji will get the lube, prep him, then enter him just like this.</p><p>The reality is different. Kanji’s cheeks show that rare blush spreading there. He falls back somehow, making sounds Kenji cannot understand. His long legs slide past Kenji, who wouldn’t mind this more advanced position under different circumstances. He sits up on his elbows, looking at where Kanji fell back on his pillow, hiding his face under an arm. Kenji had seen that bodily blush whenever things got heated. But they hadn’t even truly started yet!</p><p>Not one to let Kanji’s insecurities getting the best of him, Kenji flops down on his stomach again. Feeling that heavy weight of Kanji’s dick throb against his hip.</p><p>“Going to stay like this?” Kenji asks, his voice dripping with honey. Kanji nods. “Not gonna look at me, then?” Kanji shakes his head, arm still covering his eyes, unable to hide the blush. “Mhnn, very well then.”</p><p>Kenji slides down, loving how Kanji’s dick runs over his torso. Kenji has to lift his feet up into the air, as his knees make it to the end of the bed were he sat earlier. He spreads his hands over Kanji’s hips, trying not to tickle him. Kanji isn’t trembling. Not yet. Taking the advantage, Kenji quickly takes hold of Kanji’s warm penis, kissing the sides lovingly.</p><p>“Mhnn, bon apetit to myself,” Kenji says warmly, then sliding Kanji’s shaft inside of his mouth. Lying on his stomach with his elbows down and his hands up on Kanji’s thighs, he inhales Kanji’s length more and more. It’s enough to make his boyfriend move; lift his upper body from the bed, bend over Kenji. Fingers caressing Kenji’s hair, rough tape not unkind to Kenji’s bangs. Kanji is so large that he casts a shadow in his own room. His lips carry Kenji’s name down lower and lower. Kenji spreads the thighs a little, bringing one hand under to play with Kanji’s balls. As soon as he does, Kanji trusts himself forward, according to Kenji’s plan. Holding his jaw as relaxed as possible, Kenji closes his eyes as Kanji’s penis slides over his tongue faster. Holding his head still, Kenji cannot guide Kanji’s hand elsewhere. Not when Kanji holds him with both, without pressing. Kenji’s own hands fall to the sides of Kanji’s glutes, his nails digging into the muscles. </p><p><i>Do it…I can take it,</i> Kenji hopes to say.</p><p>“Ken-san,” he whimpers instead, higher and higher. Kanji’s warmth flows through Kenji’s name, as the taller first year whispers the name over Kenji’s back. Until that flexible bastard gets close enough to kiss the spine. Kenji brings his feet away in time. Kanji keeps one hand on the back of Kenji’s head. The other roams over the lower back now. The bed is too small for the two of them, but Kenji smiles as he keeps sucking Kanji off. He spreads his knees, feeling Kanji’s rough hand there.</p><p>He gags once, when Kanji moves; he positions himself on his knees, hand still on Kenji, keeping him still. But Kanji isn’t rough on purpose. Just eager. When he shuffles towards his pillow, Kenji crawls after him, licking his lips.</p><p>“I wasn’t finished,” he says boldly. Kanji holds his dick away though, making Kenji pout up. “Hey.”</p><p>“Ken-san…” Kanji says, blushing all over. Kenji can’t fold him. He points at the nightstand.</p><p>“If you wanna do stuff to me…get some help,” he says. Shame has left him a long time ago. He just wanted to pleasure Kanji, receive whatever would be given to him in return. Whatever Kanji was willing to give. Making sure Kanji gets the clue, Kenji spreads his knees again. His fingers caress Kanji’s thighs. “Now, don’t be shy with your natural gift, Kanji.”</p><p>Kanji releases his erection from his hand, letting Kenji’s open mouth welcoming it back. Slowly, Kanji thrust into him this time. Kenji takes Kanji’s hand, the one not close to the nightstand. He brings it back to his head. This time, Kanji’s fingers curl into the hair, grip it. Kenji holds perfectly still, letting Kanji fuck himself deeper over Kenji’s tongue. He moans around the thickness, enjoying Kanji’s shuddering breathes, the continuation of his prayer, carrying Kenji’s name. </p><p>There’s only one interruption; a nightstand stand drawer opening. A rustle of items. The drawer sliding close. The sound of a container being uncapped.</p><p>Hips backing off the slightest bit, Kanji hovers low over him. Spreads Kenji’s ass with his free hand. Before the lubrication, Kanji kisses Kenji intimately, letting his tongue dip over Kenji’s entrance. Clutching the bedsheets, Kenji pulls himself closer, taking Kanji as deep as he can this time. Using his knees, he lifts his ass up when Kanji’s head leaves. The hand on his head stays there, pressing a little more firmly without hesitation now. </p><p>Lube falls onto Kenji’s ass, making him squeeze his glutes together. Kanji’s hand doesn’t go for it right away. With Kenji’s ass lifted, Kanji’s hand first runs over the lifted hip. Down further to the inner thigh, holding him firmly. Kanji fucks into Kenji’s mouth once more, holding his head still. </p><p>“Ken-san..!” He moans, then makes so many obscene noises as he comes inside Kenji’s throat. Kenji breathes through his nose, brows furrowing. But he gulps down Kanji’s thick come, swallows it heartily. Feels Kanji’s vein throb violently over his tongue. The hand on his head slacks off, landing beside him on the bed. Kanji breathes out, his dick falling out of Kenji’s open mouth.</p><p>“Yummy,” Kenji says, dazed from the experience. He folds his arms under his head, puts his head on top. Eager for more, he lifts his ass up as high as possible. “Am I not the best ever?”</p><p>“Ken-san, the very best!” Kanji proclaims, voice raspy. His hands rush to Kenji’s ass cheeks now, spread them wide. His fingers enter Kenji none too quickly though, taking his time. Kenji moans in pleasure, closes his eyes as he gets an intimate massage. As soon as he’s worked open, Kanji’s tongue dips back down for his second course. Digging in deep and brings Kenji closer to paradise.</p><p>“Kanji,” he breathes out. “Aaahw~! Kanji, yes..”</p><p>As his body gets into the mood to go a little wild, Kenji unfolds one hand from under him, slaps the back of that hand against Kanji’s thigh. Their sign for pausing. Kenji takes the moment that Kanji’s tongue leaves him, to turn on his back. Spreading his feet wide, he watches as Kanji’s body descends on him. Lies flat completely. Kenji grins, as he holds up Kanji’s hips, lines up the hardened cock over his open mouth. His second course was ready too. To his surprise, Kanji actually lets him lick his dick again. Lucky him, Kenji thinks, closing his eyes once more. But he doesn’t just want this, after all. He handles Kanji’s length with his hand, then lifts his head a little to suck Kanji’s balls. He enjoys the heavy feel of them dipping over his mouth, one after the other. </p><p>Kanji’s fingers curl into Kenji’s knees because of it. Holds steadfast to them like a lifetime, then puts them down forcefully. Kenji hums, liking to be handled. Liking it even more as Kanji’s fingers curl inward to the softer sides of Kenji’s knees, lift them apart a little as Kanji’s head dives down, making a complete mess of Kenji’s ass with his tongue. For far, this was all the things they’ve done before. But Kenji knows the foreplay would ease the nerves, by upping the ante on the heat of their bodies, their want for each other. It would burn away Kanji’s nervousness, his hesitation.</p><p>With how fast they were going, Kenji is not surprised when his body gets lifted off the bed. His lower body goes up at first.</p><p>What gets him is how easy it is for Kanji. What gets him more and more, is how strong Kanji is holding onto him. The strong arms not just lifting Kenji, but keeping him close as he now hangs upside down. It’s a little scary at first for Kenji, but he has his hands on Kanji’s thighs. And his mouth soon slides down the dick like before. Easy. And in return, Kanji’s face dives back between Kenji’s ass-cheeks, rimming him nice and fast. Kenji trembles from want, but makes sure to not lose to Kanji in terms of oral. Even upside-down, he works himself into a steady sucking position, moaning around Kanji’s cock when the tongue penetrating his ass curls just the right way.</p><p>They have their arms in the same loop around one another’s lower back, and while Kenji hangs upside down, he doesn’t feel any fear of falling. Still, he pushes one hand off and onto the bed, lifting a little when he tries to speak. His mouth is full of Kanji’s precum however, and he needs to swallow. </p><p>“E-everything alright, Ken-san?”</p><p>“Yeah…lie down on your back,” Kenji says, and Kanji falls down to his side, still holding onto Kenji. Unwilling to let go, it seems. He watches as Kanji’s leg stretches out, his feet pushing him further on the bed. Kenji now has the bed’s head in sight, with Kanji’s penis in front of him. Licking his lips, he quickly continuous in the easier position. All they had to do now is change on their sides, and they had every type of 69 position covered. The thought however leaves his mind, as Kanji is now more focused on his thighs, kissing the insides and the back of them. It’s what brings Kenji nearly over the edge. Sighing, Kenji releases the dick from his mouth, his chin down on Kanji’s pubes as he finds the lube and plays with Kanji’s ass in return. </p><p>“Kenji…” Kanji breathes out, and Kenji’s tongue sticks out as he fingers him deeper, using one more finger to really spread him.</p><p>“You’re so hot inside,” Kenji breathes down, then kisses the base of Kanji’s penis, not wanting to neglect him.</p><p>He wants Kanji inside of him. He wants to ride him so badly. Hungry and wanton, Kenji sits up a little, having to remove his legs straddling Kanji’s face, and from the caressing fingers. He think he would have succeeded if he was a little faster. Kenji’s hands round Kanji’s knees, and he pulls himself up, his junk sliding over Kanji’s torso. But he doesn’t get far. Kanji’s hands grab his hips. And none too gently. Kenji looks back, his plans foiled, but his entire being beyond aroused by the dominating strength threatening to bruise his hips. Kanji won’t let him go forward even a little bit.</p><p>Doing his best to look as sexy over his shoulder as possible, Kenji’s eyes glide down to Kanji’s. There’s not a smidge of the shy boy he was before. Just want and hunger, possessiveness and need. Kenji grins, his brown bangs sticking to his forehead. </p><p>“You not done with my ass yet? I’m telling you, I’m ready for the complete you,” Kenji flirts, heat gathering everywhere. Kanji looks up so intensely that Kenji would nearly beg for him. Kanji shakes his head however. </p><p>“Could you…lie down on your back..?” He asks, and Kenji’s first reaction is to laugh. They just couldn’t find a position to hold for more than a minute, could they!? But he could never tell Kanji no. Kenji sighs, sweetly, the benevolent senpai after all. He gets off, giving Kanji a moment to sit up and letting Kenji lie back down again. If Kanji thinks himself capable enough to be on top like this, Kenji would let him do as he pleases. </p><p>“Come here,” Kenji says, his hands lifted, fingers twitching for the gesture. Kanji settles down on top, not heavy at all as he supports himself upon his lower arms. They go slower this time, starting with the kisses. Soft sounds and brushing of lips. Nothing too demanding. Kanji taking his time to touch and kiss Kenji’s body. Tickling and arousing him more and more. Kissing his nipples, then bending so he can place kisses everywhere else too. Once more those hands hold Kenji down tightly, making him moan and struggle up into that grip. Kanji stops right away, apologizes for no reason, making Kenji laughs. He brushes his damp hair from his forehead, then flicks Kanji’s arm.</p><p>“I like it when you’re rough, so don’t worry about me. I can handle it easily.”</p><p>But Kanji stays soft; his knees slide past the outsides of Kenji’s rear. He leans over, kissing Kenji deeply again. Kenji has the lube, spreading it generously over Kanji’s length. Kanji takes the lube from him, and as they kiss, pours a liberal amount over his own fingers. They open up like scissors, turning and twisting, making Kenji’s hips buck up into that stretch. As if he wasn’t prepared enough by the rimming. Soon Kanji’s three fingers spread him wider though, and Kenji eagerly guides Kanji’s penis to line up with his ass.</p><p>“Fuck me,” Kenji sighs up, eyes closed. He’s too horny to care how needy he sounds. Kanji nods, lifting Kenji’s legs up; one by one, he places the ankles over his wide shoulders. He leans forward again, bending Kenji who loves every second of it, has waited for this moment. They kiss slower and slower, until their lips barely move at all. Suspended in a calm moment, before all hellish heat would breaks lose. The glans of Kanji’s penis dips inside, making Kenji’s eyes roll back as slowly, Kanji slides his penis inside. Kenji hisses, which makes Kanji halt. </p><p>“Sorry, Ken-san…”</p><p>“None of that anymore. God, you’re so big… go on…I swear I can handle your size,” Kenji says, and he would spread his own ass right now if his hands werent captured by Kanji’s the second he thinks of it. Mimicking the press into the bed, the controlled grip that is so soft that it could melt Kenji. If that heat spreading him wasn’t doing that already. Kanji sits up a little, unbending Kenji for a bit. But the hands keep Kenji’s trapped to the bed. Kanji swallows once, looking all over Kenji. Smiling, Kenji squeezes the big dick inside of him.</p><p>“Come on Kanji…make love to me please?”</p><p>The stretch burns wonderfully, as Kanji starts to rock himself in deep, then retreat. Over and over, until they both start to moan in a complete different way than before. Kenji’s eyes close, as he welcomes Kanji in with ease, but squeezing down onto him when he rocks back out again. It’s slow, but it’s perfect. All Kenji has been craving. Wanting, from the moment he’s been on this bed the first time. Kanji groans a little, but then becomes so silent that Kenji opens his eyes to see. </p><p>Closed eyes, furrowing brows. Drops of sweat rolling down one side of the face. Kenji huffs again. He lets his legs bend, furl under Kanji’s arms and back around the waist. Kenji angles his head, leans up to bite Kanji’s bottom teeth. Kanji’s hold loosens on his hands, actually helps to pull him up. But he doesn’t open his eyes, so Kenji pulls the lip until the eyelashes flutter open.</p><p>“Mhnnn, so…so good…go a little faster. I’m yours…make me yours, Kanji,” Kenji whispers happily, so full of love and want. Kanji nods once. He brings one arm around Kenji, then falls down on him, only bracing himself with his other outstretched hand. Kenji’s lower arms loop around the warm neck. Full of trust and love. Kanji thrusts harder into him now, with every deep stroke. Nothing about him is slow anymore then; as soon as he starts, Kanji won’t stop. Kenji cries out as heat and want over take his senses. He’s loud, wanting to be heard. He gets louder still, as Kanji’s hips snap forward with force and control.</p><p>“Fuck, Kanji, just like that,” Kenji says, his voice a pitch higher now. He looks down between them again and again, wanting to see Kanji move; wanting to see their muscles tighten. And how Kanji’s biceps flex under the strain of holding on without much foundation. They go messy and fast, different kind of sounds louder now when their bodies meet, and Kanji’s penis slams into him with more uncontrolled force now.</p><p>Kenji grins, having what he wanted. Wanting so much more. His legs uncurl, feet finding a solid foundation on the sunflower bedspread. He manages to lift himself up further, and Kanji even leans back to let him. Sits up straighter, eyes open as he watches Kenji slowly come into a seated potion on his lap. Moving himself down Kanji’s penis, making them both cry out. They mute the sounds, by kissing again. But Kanji uses more teeth than tongue, nibbling at Kenji’s bottom lip like its his favourite snack. As before, they do not hold this position for long. Kanji’s hips snap up, and soon down, as Kenji falls back on the back again, with Kanji all over his front. Their legs stretch out, Kanji’s positioned so he can continue fucking Kenji senseless. His hands run over Kenji’s shoulders, holding on tight. Finally Kanji lets his full weight be on top of Kenji, who looks up to the ceiling as it blurs. Tears fill his eyes, his jaw slack, mouth unwilling to close. A continuous whine fills the room, as Kenji keeps crying out Kanji’s name, heaping praise on him.</p><p>“Nhhh, aaahh! Kanji…Kanji..!” Kenji sighs the last time, mouth close to Kanji’s ear. He closes his eyes, letting his tears flow down and into his hair. They’re moving as one, inwards, outwards, back together for more. Kenji’s ankles lock around Kanji’s lower back one last time, making sure he won’t back off too much. And Kanji stays close, grunting deeper and deeper, his breath making Kenji’s front bangs wet; they’re sticking to his forehead again.</p><p>Their mouths meet for a kiss. And they don’t part, even as their combined orgasms thunder through one after another. They keep in the tight embrace, the kisses become softer once they’re both spent. Kanji never rolls off Kenji. He never goes out either. He just stays inside, until Kenji squeezes the now limp cock. Until a teasing Kenji brings his teeth to Kanji’s red ears and nibbles down.</p><p>Until Kanji is ready to go again and rock his world upside down.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>The night is endless. Kenji gets his revenge in round three, when he finally gets Kanji to lie down on his back. He doesn’t mind bottoming all night; he just needs to ride Kanji senseless once. The second time had been very slow, as they took their time more. Stay in one position for once, when Kanji fucked him sideways. Always careful that Kenji wouldn’t hurt his head.</p><p>But Kenji was ready to ride himself hard and fast on Kanji’s cock. His kouhai looks a little frightened however. So as Kenji straddles his lap, he brings his hands to roam over Kanji’s chest.</p><p>“Mhnn, you’re so muscular. I really like that,” Kenji says flirtatious, his palms setting Kanji’s chest and arms alight with flames; he’s so red again, but Kenji doesn’t mind one bit. He has his own penis on top of Kanji’s right now, and he slowly moves himself up and down the length. They’d forgotten condoms the first time, and as the bed was doomed to be ruined anyway, didn’t bother right now to put some on. Kenji’s stomach has been wiped from his own come. And maybe he’s some kind of pervert to liking Kanji’s sperm leak out of his ass and not allowing Kanji to clean him up.</p><p>“Ken-san,” Kanji whispers, his own hands running over Kenji’s arms too. They could kiss and take it slow again, but Kenji is too hungry for some fast action. He sits up, giving Kanji’s penis enough space to bounce up; Kenji capture it quickly, guides the hardness inside his willing ass. He couldn’t get enough of that girth stretching him, filling him. Closing his eyes, Kenji’s brows crease. The length was something else. He slowly sits down on it, hissing as he’s spread wide once more. But the feeling of Kanji’s throbbing heat inside of him overruled any sort of discomfort of the stretch. Kenji wants it, more and more. It’s what brings him all the way down. He circles his hips into one direction, then the other. He brings his hands flat on Kanji’s hard stomach for purchase.</p><p>Then he opens his eyes to the most gorgeous sight; Kanji looking up at him in awe. Kanji’s nails going gently over Kenji’s pulse, then the hard grip on Kenji’s hips once more, but from the front. This encourages Kenji like nothing else, and he starts to move. His moans come easily and readily, and soon his spine bends. He rolls himself up and down Kanji’s entire length, loving the sound of his ass slapping down faster and faster. Kanji holds onto him with strong hands, aiding the speed and descend. </p><p>“Aaah, Ken-san, you’re so…you’re so,” Kanji starts but cannot finish. Kenji grins stupidly, his eyes closed as he brings himself down each time.</p><p>“Aahw, Kanji…tell me,” he says with a smile, his brows now creasing again when Kanji’s hips buck up.</p><p>“You’re so tight and warm,” Kanji says, and Kenji could kiss him. But he likes to keep himself rod straight, to only move his hips a little. Into Kanji’s hands, down and down until he’s completely seated and filled with Kanji’s length. Kenji can take it, he promised he could. He circles his hips again, liking how Kanji presses his head down and moans out loudly. How Kanji lets himself be ridden into his own bed, as his blond bleached hair sticks to the sides of his face. The way he looks as Kenji with hunger too. Kenji is ready to be eaten, as he teases Kanji’s cock by squeezing it nice and tight.</p><p>“Shall I ride myself like crazy on you? Until we both come hard?” Kenji asks, grinning still when Kanji’s only response is rapid nodding. “Good. Hold onto me, babe,” Kenji mewls, then continuous on pleasuring his ass all the way up and down Kanji’s length. Until Kanji comes once, stays on top until Kanji’s relentless stamina makes him hard again. Kenji helps a little, by playing with Kanji’s nipples and watch his eyes roll back. His mouth pursing, ungodly sounds coming from him.</p><p>The second time, Kenji doesn’t slow down. But he brings his own chest closer to Kanji. He spreads lube over them both, then slides their chests together. Kanji ruins his throat, bites down his neck. And this time, one of Kanji’s hands loosens their grip on Kenji’s hip. He starts to stroke Kenji’s penis, making sure he comes touched this time. Kenji’s head tilts backwards, as he fills the room with his moans, with the sound of their skins coming together, and the bed creaking violently under their combined weight and effort. He rubs his nipples over Kanji, sighing and moaning so loudly that not even Kanji will kiss him silent. </p><p>Kenji comes all over Kanji, watching his sperm reach as high as Kanji’s pecs. When he opens his eyes further, he notices Kanji staring up at him, intently. Kenji pokes his tongue out.</p><p>“Oops. I’ve been such a bad boy,” he jokes, and surprise mixes with pleasure as Kanji slaps his ass. Hard. Kenji then descends down to kiss him. “Mhnnn, <i>such</i> a bad boy…you should punish me,” he says, moaning soft ‘aah’s each time Kanji slaps his ass. But he sees shame in Kanji’s eyes afterward. Kenji shakes his head, kisses him. So hard that Kanji lies down all the way, with his head into the pillow. </p><p>When Kenji is sure that Kanji is somewhat calm, he says, “I told you…I like it rough. I like to be dominated…and you’re doing such a good job with it.”</p><p>“I don’t want to hurt you, Ken-san.”</p><p>“You won’t. And I had no complaints so far with what we did… You like me, right?”</p><p>“Very much so!” Kanji says, their movements ceasing. Kenji lifts his ass off Kanji’s length, gasping when it slides out completely. The semi-limp penis lies down Kenji’s tight. It’s so thick and heavy that Kenji has to hold himself back from turning around and licking it clean.</p><p>“Well, they say the people that love you the most can hurt you the best. And personally, I like a little bit of sting in the bedroom,” Kenji says smoothly, kissing Kanji’s red-hot cheeks. He’d never stop blushing at this rate. Kenji never wants him to stop, actually. Smiling, Kenji adds, “I like you a bunch too, Kanji. And I like everything we’ve done so far. But I’ve been quite rude, making you do a lot of things.”</p><p>“I-I didn’t mind! It’s fun,” Kanji says right away. He has his arms loosely around Kenji’s back. They’re lying chest to chest, and Kenji figures he could take a short nap. But Kanji’s fingers caress his back in a certain way, making him stay awake. And good too, because Kanji’s whisper is so silent that he might have missed it if he were to have fallen asleep. “Could we try and…switch it…around I mean..?”</p><p>“Mhnn?” Kenji says, sitting up a little more to lean on his hands and kiss Kanji deeper. He then stares deeply into those sweet eyes. “Come again? Oh wait,” he giggles at the joke, and Kanji looks to the side. “Nooo, the joke wasn’t that bad! Please, say it again Kanji.”</p><p>“I…I’m a virgin so,” Kanji starts, and Kenji shuts his mouth from saying neither of them are because they already had sex. Kenji understands what Kanji is getting at.</p><p>“If you like…sure, we can switch. I’ll promise to be gentle with you,” Kenji says earnestly. They kiss again, Kanji’s hands combing through Kenji’s hair. “From the past times…Which position do you prefer? Do you think you want it slow or a bit fast?”</p><p>“I…I think I want to keeping laying like this. And…maybe slow at first..?” Kanji stammers, and Kenji kisses his insecurities away each time.</p><p>“Roger that. God I’m gonna make you feel so good Kanji. I’ll try to do my best and not hurt you. But you have to relax for me. I’ll do everything to make sure you are on my part,” Kenji promises. He digs his knees into the bedding, to sit up. But Kanji’s arms won’t let him go far. Kenji falls back down, and into Kanji kissing him. He doesn’t struggle away though, his penis hardening already with Kanji’s slow kisses becoming deeper.</p><p>“Please don’t go away too far,” Kanji begs, making Kenji sigh.</p><p>“But I have to prepare you…remember that first time I licked your ass? You were so relaxed. I was almost sure we could have done it then, you looked so at peace,” Kenji reminisces, soft all over. Kanji blushes still, but it’s a softer hue this time. Just his ears remain hard as far as Kenji can see. Distracting. He wants to bite them.</p><p>“I thought you would too…” Kanji says, making Kenji fall in love all over.</p><p>“Right. So let me go for a bit. I promise I’ll come right back into this exact position.” Kenji says, understanding that Kanji wants him as close as possible. Kenji gets it, and makes sure that after he’s done preparing Kanji, he’ll put their chests together as much as possible. Kiss Kanji softly, and hold onto him. Spread one leg up and against his side, to ensure Kenji can go nice and deep, but without pressure.</p><p>And while Kanji trembles at the beginning, Kenji manages all that and more.</p><p>Even when Kanji’s face changes to a very different sight from before.</p><p>Even as the pitch of his voice reaches new heights as Kenji gently rocks himself back and forth into that wanton heat.</p><p>Even as Kanji’s eyes open for a bit, and he whispers, “Ken-san,” over and over again.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Kenji’s ass hurt so much he can barely sit. It’s a problem the entire day. Then at practice…Kenji can’t undress. His entire body shows burgundy red kiss marks, and light red bite marks. His thighs, when they’re not yelling at him for being stretches, are the most obvious. Kenji has no idea how to get through practice today.</p><p>Turns out, Kanji cannot train with a scarf. It was autumn now, and Kanji had worn a handmade scarf the entire day. But as practice starts, he’s being harassed by everyone about the deep red kiss mark on his neck. Kenji sighs, not looking much better as he struts out over the court.</p><p>“Yes yes yes, Kanji has a lot of fun in his free time. Now leave him alone, you hyenas!”</p><p>All it does, it put all focus on Kenji. Even while he has his hands on his hips, the mockery doesn’t stop. People point at the marks, and Kenji has no idea which because they came in a legion. Kanji has enough too, but Kenji had made sure to place them mostly on his chest and stomach, on the sides. Kanji’s back was a mess too, scratch marks in abundance. Honestly every time they decided to have sex nowadays, it became an hours-long session in which neither was willing to pause.</p><p>“Very funny, you’re all hilarious. I am pretty sure it’s just jealousy!” Kenji bellows, snarling now. At least he got the heat off Kanji. No one was really teasing them to make them feel bad. And thankfully there was no Kamasaki and Sasaya around anymore. Kenji would have died if they’d see him like this. Not that this giggling group was any better!</p><p>Knowing the consequences, he’d do it all over again though. Do Kanji all over again, all across the room and the bed and the desk and the walls—and have himself be opened up and be loved in return, harder and faster and—</p><p>“Captain Futakuchi, you’re blushing,” Sakunami says, and Kenji glares at him.</p><p>“What’s the commotion?” Coach Oiwake says as he’s entering the gym. Kenji keeps his hands on his hips and turns to the coach. But he doesn’t get a word out. Oiwake looks at Kenji, then past him at Kanji. Kenji can hear the team barely keeping it together. Nametsu enters the gym too, in time to watch Coach Oiwake turn on his heels and <i>leave</i>.</p><p>“What the,” Kenji murmurs, and then his entire team explodes with laughter. He turns to them, unable to get this rowdy crowd under control again. All is lost because even Sakunami, who is usually so serious and composed, bends over double. Kanji is a blushing mess from head to toe, staring at the ground with a goofy smile struggling to spread wider. <i>Damn you Koganegawa Kanji, you’re no help at all!</i> </p><p>Kenji rolls his eyes to the heavens. He should have stolen Kanji away from this. Call in sick. Let Aone fulfil the co-captain rules.</p><p>Aone wasn’t even looking at him. He was staring at the left wall.</p><p>“Okaaay, everyone calm down! Seal walks around the entire gym, twice! Futakuchi….could you maybe wear those black running thighs you had on this morning? And the thermo-long-sleeve too I think,” Nametsu says, her finger pointing to the floor as the rest of the team groans.</p><p>Kenji gasps. “That’s way too warm!”</p><p>Running this morning had been hell too, but at least he and Kanji had been covering up. Well, Kanji wore a t-shirt and a scarf, with long training thighs under his running shorts. Sadly, Kenji couldn’t wear the handmade knit-wear Kanji gave to him as the months got colder. Nametsu glares at Kenji.</p><p>“And currently you’re way too distracting! The coach won’t be able to come back either,” Nametsu says, she too struggling with a smile trying to break out wide on her face. Kenji glares, but there’s little else to do. They need the coach after all. He slumps off the court to the fresher breeze outside. Behind him, the team suffers and groans. As they deserve! Making fun of their newly appointed captain like this…the nerve.</p><p>Kenji doesn’t see the coach anywhere. And he makes it a few steps out in the cold and towards the club room, when two long arms loop around his chest. He gets pulled back into the warmth of Kanji’s broad chest. Turning around, Kenji grins, head tilting back when Kanji kisses him. They make out for some glorious minutes, warming up their bodies a much nicer way. Kanji angles his head a little, then places 10 rapid short kisses onto Kenji’s mouth.</p><p>“I’m very sorry,” he says, smiling and sounding so insincere. The little shit has gotten a lot braver since the summer vacations and their weekly sleepovers.</p><p>“Pfft, no you’re not. You had your sweet time pounding me last night…It’s fine. It’s worth it; even their stupidity,” Kenji says, arms around Kanji’s neck as he glares into the gym. Then he pouts. “Mhnn, but let’s stay behind in the club room after. I need a lower back massage.”</p><p>“Roger!” Kanji beams, and they’re kissing again. He whispers more lowly and hotly onto Kenji’s lips. “Any…other massages..?”</p><p>Kenji glares back into those sweet eyes. He wouldn’t deny Kanji anything. But he could at least try and put up a fight.</p><p>“Please no, my little ass.”</p><p>“Ken-san…your ass isn’t little. Especially not when it spreads around me,” Kanji says, his voice so deep that Kenji’s knees become jelly. He feels his ass tilt up into Kanji’s hands, which dip low and into his shorts. Kanji’s become such a top in the past few months. Kenji can’t blame him; only himself for encouraging this development. They still switch around, even during heated sessions in which it looks like Kanji won’t relinquish being on top.</p><p>“You dirty, little—“ Kenji starts, but his words and breath get sucked into Kanji’s deep kisses once more. Those all-consuming, all-commanding, all-heat and no holding back kisses. Kenji murmurs up into the warm lips, “Mhnn…I want my back massage. And then we can wrestle a little and see what happens.” </p><p>Kanji’s little giggle tells him he’ll probably forfeit for Kenji’s sake. Whatever happens, it’s fine.</p><p>“Gah, are you two going to stand there all night! It’s cold!” Coach Oiwake says. He has his hands side by side next to his, covering his eye-sight. He stalks past them with speed. “Get back in there, and do not come under my sight again!”</p><p>Oiwake disappears into the gym. From there, Nametsu wonders out loud how their captain and setter are supposed to do those two conflicting things at once. The gym inside doesn’t erupt in laughter this time.</p><p>Outside, Kenji and Kanji do all the laughing they can, quickly getting running thighs and the like to cover up as much as possible. After all, they could huddle up in spare moments some other time. And Kenji could continue his collection of spicy material; starting off with having full body pics of Kanji, bearing all these marks of love.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>honestly, I really just wanted them to make out a lot. But then………………whelp? It got really spicy real fast. And I had no clue what to do after that confrontation scene!!! I had that bit since the beginning of writing this idea down. And then after?? Well as soon as I wrote the revelation scene, I just kept writing and finished this thing www</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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